Old
by silverarrow65
Summary: As unfair as it seems, no one is born equal. And it sends Sasuke's oldest daughter over the edge. SKIP TO FINAL CHAPTER FOR EXPLANATION.
1. Uncertainty

**A/N: I've been waiting a long time to do this story. This is the revised prologue, shorter and better written. Seiken no Heki-Reki is a Japanese proverb that means "Thunderclaps from a clear sky". This story is inspired by Raina1's Hana Ni Arashi, however I don't compare my writing to her talent in the least. I'm serious, read her work, it's absolutely amazing and she is the main reason I decided to start writing fanfiction. **

**Sorry if this sucks. Like actually. =_=  
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**Disclaimer: Wouldn't that be just peachy? -_-**

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**Summary:**

8 years after his defection, which means all of Team 7 is now 20, Sakura and Naruto run into Sasuke again. By now, Itachi is obviously dead, and they once again try to convince him to leave behind his group, Taka. Initially, he says nothing, which Naruto interprets as a yes. When Naruto approaches Sasuke, he knocks him unconscious. Sakura holds Naruto in her arms and begs Sasuke to come home, where once again, he stays silent and leaves, intending on sparing her. When Team 7 returns home, Sakura is heartbroken again, and visits the walkway where he left her so many years ago.

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**I don't want this life. I never did. But I bear on anyway. As much as I wish I had changed, I can't bring myself to regret my decisions. If I hadn't made a path for myself, I would not be where I am today. I would not know what I know today. Because no matter where I went, however dark I might've become, something beautiful always followed me, all the way until the end; love. **

**-Anonymous**

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Chilly winds blew harshly through Konoha at that moment, Sakura's pink hair becoming disheveled in the movement. Goosebumps formed on her skin, but she paid them little heed and sat down on the bench he left her on so many years ago.

Seating herself quietly, she ran her hand along the aged wood grain, smiling sadly as she remembered their young days, _her _young days, as Genin. Everything then was so simple; no drama to cloud a friendship, no duties to be fulfilled, no pains needing to be hidden.

No scars to bear. No scars that ran so deep they never really healed, and were just momentarily forgotten in day to day life, the resting intervals between the pain short and fleeting at best.

She sighed, and wiped at her wet face in annoyance. This always happened. Just the thought of him was enough to shatter her carefully constructed facade. 8 years later and she hadn't grown stronger in the least. Just as weak as she was then, like he said. At the time, she had assumed her was criticizing her skills in battle, when in reality he meant so much more. She spent her time training, fighting, sparring, to better herself, to prove to him she wasn't hopeless, to prove to everyone. And only until now, 8 years later, did she even begin to understand the message. Her battlefield skills were impressive, but there was always a chink in her thick mask. She hid behind a cheery smile and enlightened eyes, no one ever comprehending the deep, swirling fathoms below her surface. She never bothered to confront her emotional demons, the ones who really were the most crippling of all.

"Just as weak…" she whispered to herself, earlier tears falling freely now. "Nothing's changed. He was right all along." She rubbed her arm consolingly, voice rising to a louder and higher pitch as desperation entered her voice, and frenzied thoughts filled her head. She felt so alone, so scared, out in the world. So exposed. Everyone had already matured, but Sakura was a 12 year old in a 20 year old's body. She buried her face in her hands, and silently prayed for the simplicity of youth. Just to experience the joy again of mastering a jutsu, to see someone genuinely smile at her. To see Naruto smile at her honestly again.

That was what she had lived for. With the rewards so fleeting now, however, she found it harder to continue. Naruto had grown so withdrawn, so different, so dark, and it frightened her to see this change. She had held hope he would remain strong for all of them, and in the end it was he who fell the hardest. It was all Sasuke's fault.

She drew her knees up into her chest and chewed on her lip till it drew blood, tears still streaming childishly as she sobbed into her knees. This place held so many burdens, she could hardly stand it. She just wanted to leave, to escape and never look back.

Something disturbed the foliage behind Sakura momentarily. She sniffled slightly, wiping messily at her face and turning around.

"W-who's there?" she asked loudly, with suspicion and fear lacing her tone. "Sh-show yourself!" she continued, attempting to appear intimidating but failing miserably. Training and technique left her clumsily, as she sat there vulnerable in the night.

Nothing greeted her, save for a deep bout of silence and another wave of all-consuming loneliness.

She sighed sadly, and turned back to her knees, resting her chin on them and feeling sleepy. She closed her eyes momentarily and took in the soft silence, eerie and calming all at once.

Abruptly, a branch snapped behind Sakura, prompting her to whip around again, her kunoichi skills taking over, and produce a sharp kunai from her pouch, glinting in the moonlight evilly and poised to strike with deadly accuracy.

She stood up from the bench and faced the bush behind it, using the bench as a flimsy form of a shield. She readied her stance and glared into the leaves, emerald eyes ablaze with a suspicious stare.

She gulped and ignored the fat beads of sweat forming on her fair brow, rolling down and hitting the ground loudly. She noticed her hand starting to shake and took a deep breath, blinking to steady herself.

Once again, nothing emerged from the bushes. Sakura raised a brow, and lowered her weapon, her eyes fading back to their natural state of calm green. She could've sworn something was in there; all of her instincts told her so. Instead she shrugged, and backed up, blood freezing and heart falling through her feet when she collided with a rock hard body.

There was no need to turn around for her to know who it was. After searching for him for years, she kept every shredded memory of him and preserved it, knowing him as well as he did. She just knew it was him. It had to be him.

Her breath caught in her chest, and she felt herself suffocating, and also somewhat laughing at the irony of it. 8 years of searching, and no dice. And in the end, it was he who found her.

"Sakura." A cold, familiar voice murmured. Sakura noticed his chest resound with the sound, and then blushed at the proximity of their two bodies.

She said nothing in return, and neither moved away nor moved closer, the coldness of their enemy relationship causing tension.

"Sakura, answer me." The voice was icy, tinted with malice and danger.

Sakura's eyes squeezed shut, and she felt a twinge of annoyance. Years of begging him to come home, with tears, with words, with passion, and nothing. But now she had an obligation to answer to him?

At the same time, she longed to return to his beckoning. A feeling of loyalty was tugging heavily in her, and it didn't help he had a baritone voice and hot body to boot.

"Sasuke." She said simply. "You came home."

She could feel his smirk from behind her. He placed his hands firmly on her waist and slowly turned her around, smiling inwardly at her scarlet face and pathetic attempt to avoid eye contact. Slowly, one of his pale hands tilted her chin up towards him, and when green met onyx, she melted right there in his arms.

The rest is history.

* * *

Not long after, Sasuke was cleared of the majority of his crimes by the ever merciful Naruto, the new Hokage, who embraced him with profanity, a few punches, and a suffocating bear hug. Several bruises later, Naruto said that while he was able to clear Sasuke of the heaviest crimes, much to the chagrin of the elders, he still had to serve time in prison, which Sasuke accepted with relief, hardly expecting such kindness.

During his time in prison, he seemed to have many visitors. At first, they were only Naruto and Sakura, Sakura being the more regular, but soon after, the other teams started visiting him after the initial shock of his return registered properly in their minds. Sasuke learned plenty about each of the other shinobi he had never been able to bond with in his youth, and even found friendships with each of them.

When released, he had a huge celebration, with all of his friends present. Sasuke even smiled a few times.

Later that night, Sasuke asked Sakura if she thought they were in a relationship. She had flushed red and stuttered, before Sasuke interjected and said they should be.

6 months later, they were married. A month after that, Sakura found out she was pregnant.

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When Sasuke held the tiny newborn boy in his arms, he experienced something like never before. It was if Itachi, and the darkness of his life, never had happened. It was just this little boy, who somehow made everything right, who gave him new purpose to live. This tiny child…gave him something to look forward to.

"Fugaku." Sasuke had said simply after holding him, his voice indicating that there was no room for question.

Sakura had smiled and nodded along. She had predicted that was what he would name his son. That their son would carry the name of Sasuke's father. As a tribute to that past, and a tribute to a new beginning.

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As time went on, Sasuke came out of the dark, gradually, accustoming himself to the new, enlightened world engulfing him. Fugaku taught Sasuke something new every day, ranging from centipedes to why smoke was black.

At 4, Fugaku entered the Academy, charming every single girl in there the minute he set foot in the classroom. By this point, his father's looks had obviously descended quite nicely into Fugaku, along with immense chakra reserves, prodigal talent and an early Sharingan at just 4 and a half. Sakura bragged about him to everyone in the village, but Sasuke stayed silent. In his heart, however, he can't deny he'd never been prouder.

The adventures went on happily, until one day, when Fugaku was around 5½ Sakura realized worriedly she had missed her period…twice. Not long after her discovery, she was experiencing severe nausea, until it became a regular occurrence. Sasuke had been away on a mission, and Sakura was thankful, because she wanted to surprise him, however nervous she was herself.

Sakura was a med-nin. She knew what this meant. Her chest tightened at the though, giddiness and nervousness seeping into her as she imagined his reaction.

When he returned, she embraced him tightly, having gathered all of their friends at the gate. People were clapping Sasuke on the back, however he didn't quite understand why. Most of his attention was focused on his wife's upturned face, smiling and bright, peculiar in a sense, not that he was complaining or anything.

Sakura quickly thanked everyone for coming to greet him before rushing him home and happily announcing she was pregnant.

Sakura imagined he would smile, laugh, cry out, spin her around in a circle, sing, anything.

But then again, that _was _only what she imagined.

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He was afraid. More than that. Absolutely terrified. He explained the Mangekyo Sharingan, which was a foreign concept to her, since knowledge of the Uchiha clan had always been a sensitive and highly avoided topic in Konoha. He coldly stated that siblings were not an option, not when the events of Madara Uchiha's past were still fresh and painful in Sasuke's mind, when he could foresee future horrors all too clearly. He said stonily that he would not risk Fugaku's life, or the life of the unborn child to be lost in cold murder.

He said an abortion was her only option.

Her words cut far deeper than he let on. He wanted the child, more than anything. But the clan...the curse of his clan was too dangerous. The Mangekyo Sharingan was too heavy a risk to bear, and if any of his children ever found out about it...Madara's past was very likely to repeat itself. Inside of himself, he apologized for cursing Sakura to be the mother who must suffer it, to be the girl he had to steal opportunities from.

She was different after that. That night, when she foolishly assumed he was asleep, she started sobbing uncontrollably. While he tried to draw her into his arms, she pushed away, unable to meet his eyes. He'd taken a life before it even had a chance to live. She stroked her abdomen tenderly, scared for her baby.

She'd seen abortions before. Frightened teenage girls and their guilty boyfriend counterparts, the awkwardness deafening when the issues of a contraceptive came up. A scared and starved homeless mother once. The all familiar sensation of the mother who decided she had too many children to be able to support them. Even the young, druggie prostitute. But this wasn't just any woman. This was Sakura Haruno, respected med-nin, dutiful mother, faithful wife, cheery friend. And this wasn't just any baby. This was _her _baby. She would not,_ could_ not, live with herself if the abortion occurred.

She fell into a depression. Every day, a plate would be ready for her at the table, and every day, the plate was no emptier than how Sasuke left it for her. It disturbed him to no end; he hadn't thought she would be so upset.

No amount of his pleading or persuasion managed to get her to listen to him or even take anti-depressants.

He inwardly slapped himself as he finally gave in, saying to her that the abortion was cancelled. He was probably going to regret it later.

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Tsunade reacted to the news without expression. Then she wearily asked Shizune to leave the room, before she laced her manicured fingers gently across her lips. She smiled happily. Her precious student had grown up and fallen in love. The second child about to come along, she thought cheerfully.

Fairly soon after, Sasuke left to go on a mission. During his absence, Sakura visited Tsunade for an ultrasound.

Tsunade's eyes widened at the ultrasound. Sakura was sitting on the chair, peacefully, rubbing her now swelling belly gently. She smiled, and turned to Sakura, informing her of the news. Sakura was shocked at first, but her face breaks out into a huge grin. She laughs and grabs her old mentor's hand, just sitting there laughing joyfully, reveling in the news.

_Sasuke will be so happy to know when he returns from the mission_, she thought.

He returned, exhausted from his mission. His wife was standing by the gates, along with many friends, like last time. Sasuke excitedly realized that she probably found out the gender while he was gone. Everyone hugged and congratulated the parents, however before everyone dispersed and returned home, she announced in front of everybody the good news. Ino gasped and screamed in excitement while Hinata just smiled and nodded shyly. The boys all cheered and clapped Sasuke on the back. But he didn't respond. He stayed still and stared at Sakura in pure shock, at an utter loss for words. Everyone assumed he was overjoyed and just didn't know how to react. He responded politely to the best wishes of everyone and thanked everyone, taking Sakura home quickly afterwards. As soon as the door was locked behind him, a part of him bolted and shut as well, as he sighed tiredly.

_This is horrible. He can't ask her to get an abortion now; it's too late._

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_This is horrible. What's wrong with him? She wonders._

They didn't speak at all for the rest of the night. They crawled into bed together, without touching, and turned off their respective lights synchronously. Neither of them were able sleep, bordering on the edge of insane insomnia. When the time passed by slowly and Sakura believed the whole village was asleep, she whispered to him a question that he was afraid to answer. That she hoped she would coax out of him.

The indigo aura of inescapable night seeped through the window. A cool breeze wafted around the room, chilling and tickling Sakura's exposed arms on the coverlet. The stars were particularly bright that night, however neither of them noticed any of this.

"Sasuke, why don't you want twins?"

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It was quiet indeed in Konoha that night. He didn't want to tell her. But she forced the answer out eventually.

He sighed.

"One extra child was enough. But twins, Sakura? This only increases our chances for disaster." He seethed.

Sakurs shook her head fiercely. "It's no fault of mine. And besides, it's far too late now. We're having these twins, regardless of your personal fears."

He hmphed, and turned over, away from her. As several minutes passed, he felt her cool hand lay softly against his neck, whispering into his ear.

"You'll be a good daddy. I know you won't let something like that happen either way." She mumbled; a smile in her voice. "As long as we teach them right, there's nothing to fear,"

The thought still weighed on him, but even he could tell it was paranoia. It was a gripping fear of those twins from so long ago that kept him so vacant and so unenthusiastic about twins. He knew his words went unheard and caused heads to shake at him in sympathy, because everyone knew he was wrong. But no matter how hard he tried to assure himself of the facts, he was unable escape the gripping feeling…of just…knowing, that something would go wrong. The remaining fear of twins went pretty much unheard, as Sasuke knew he was being the illogical and troublesome person in this situation.

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A few months later, Sakura gave birth to two fraternal girls, each separated by about 10 minutes. Hanako was the older one; Seiko the younger. Sakura cradled Seiko in her arms and motioned for Tsunade to hand over Hanako, however Tsunade only looked gravely at her student and left the room, handing Hanako to Shizune as she passed.

Sasuke was sitting outside, elbows on his knees and staring pensively at the floor, contemplating the two new additions to his family. Tsunade spotted him and approached quickly, beginning to drag him into Sakura's room. His face twisted in annoyance, before he regained composure.

"Tsunade-sama, what's wrong?"

Tsunade's eyes narrowed at this question, and she seethed out through her teeth.

"It's…your oldest twin. I'm afraid she's not breathing properly. She won't respond to stimulation or anything."

Sasuke's blood went so cold at that moment his entire body could've turned to ice. Tsunade cast him a sad look, empathy laced in her brown orbs, before she continued on through the hospital.

"S-so why are you taking me if…" Sasuke whispered fearfully.

She sighed. "I wanted you to at least have a chance to see her, to talk with Sakura." Tsunade approached a white door and knocked thrice, before turning the handle and pushing the door inward.

Sakura sat on the bed, crying and holding Seiko close to her, while Shizune stood there, an incomprehensible expression plastered on her features, the limp and silent baby in her arms.

Sasuke couldn't bear to look at _that_ baby, the one that could've been. Instead, he walked up to Sakura, knelt down, and took her hand, staring up at her.

She shakes her head fiercely, tears still streaming. "I want my Hanako. Bring her back, please. Do anything." She pleads, tearful eyes turning to Sasuke. "Sasuke, please, do something, anything. Give her back to me." Sasuke turned around to see Tsunade place one hand on her hip, the other on her temple, and shake her head tiredly.

"I'm sorry Sakura. I'm afraid she just won't…survive." This prompted even more sobbing from the already hysterical mother. Sasuke accepted this with regret and deep grief in his heart, much more than he would ever let on, before an idea struck him. Shizune, already slightly teary herself, turned to Sasuke. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke."

"Give me the child." He ordered. "Give her to me." Shizune complied immediately and carefully handed over the bundle. He re-adjusted the position of the infant in his arms, and began to search for a pressure point on the baby's neck. When he found it, he shot a wave of stunning chakra through his finger, into the baby's pressure point. The baby jolted for a moment, but no sound emerged from her mouth.

Everyone else stared on in awe. Even Tsunade's interest was piqued. Sasuke searched for another major pressure point and started shooting chakra pulses into those points with direct precision as well. The baby jolted, until at one point, a small cry emerged from the baby's mouth. At this point, the baby's eyes shot open, shocking Sasuke at what he saw.

The baby already had a Sharingan. A Sharingan...at birth? Was it even possible?

As quickly as it came, her eyes closed again, no evidence to suggest the previous crimson pools that were in its place a moment earlier.

Everyone in the room sighed in relief, as the baby starts to wail, no one else having seen the Uchiha bloodline in her eyes. Sasuke quickly handed off the baby to Sakura, who seemed like she was about to pass out from relief.

Sakura hugged her baby close to her, relief flooding her completely. Shizune clapped her hands together and sighed in joy, wiping away a tear. Even Tsunade was a little emotional by now. Abruptly, she turned around to thank Sasuke, to discover he'd already left. She shook her head at his actions, smiling slightly, before turning around to tend to the newborns.

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Sasuke sat himself outside, on the stone bench in the courtyard adjourning the hospital. Although he would never admit it, he was terribly superstitious. The incident with Itachi, all leading up to Orochimaru, was all because he believed it was fate. He had always felt terribly cursed because of that.

And now…one of the twins nearly died. If he hadn't stepped in at the exact moment he did, one of his daughters would be dead. To others, it would be called a stroke of luck. To him, it was an unpleasant brush with death, and his suspicious side stepped forward, remarking that this was a sign of things to come. As much as he tried to shake the feeling, he couldn't rid himself of the constant nagging, the insistent tugging at his inner self that there was something wrong with Hanako.

And that Sharingan. Never once, in the history of his entire clan, had a baby ever been born with Sharingan. Sharingan was achieved in the heat of battle, when one exerts themselves enough.

Was the baby in a battle, even in Sakura's womb?...Maybe against her twin, even before either of them were born? Were his earlier fears being confirmed?

He shook his head. No, no, he was being stupid. Impossible. The Sharingan was a coincidence, the baby's near death experience an unfortunate event. That was all. End of story.

He sighed. He really shouldn't be thinking about this. Instead of regarding the inner warning, he stepped up and walked inside, oblivious to the, for once, viable warning.

Because however much he didn't want to admit it, his insecurities were being revealed and confirmed at that very moment.

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**A/N: Chapter 1 done. FINALLY. Chapter 2 up soon. Hope you guys enjoyed, reviews please. Gotta tell you, this is a vast difference from what I used to write, but I'm incredibly excited for where this story is leading. This is a prologue, next chapter describes Hanako and Seiko as they grow up, and going to the Academy. Chapter 3 is where it will really start, I think. Sorry if there's any grammatical errors, I'm really just too lazy to read through this ungodly long story to edit. :) Alright, next chapter up soon. **


	2. Growth

**A/N: Here's chapter 2 for you guys. I worked on this all day and I'm really pleased with where this story is gonna go. It's following nicely with my super evil plot. Bwahaha. Anyway, read and reviews please, I really like this chapter.  
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**Disclaimer: Oh, you're funny**

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The years passed far faster than Sasuke would have even been able to keep track of. The twins…wasn't it just yesterday Sakura brought them home from the hospital?

Each of the girls were incredibly different from one another; polar opposites.

Seiko had forest green eyes, a charming shade deeply reminiscent of her mother, with darker tones from her father. Her hair was the same shade of hair as her mother's, bubblegum pink. Her skin was originally very fair, but as time went on, became a very healthy tan. As an infant, she was 'positively adorable', according to some, but as she grew up, her figure slimmed out and soon, she was more muscular than childishly cute.

Hanako was vastly different. Hanako's eyes were green as well, but far brighter than her mother's. The green was near lime green, almost neon, giving off the impression they were glowing, and as seen by many, the shade was quite frightening. Sakura mentioned many a time it had been a trait not seen in her family tree for several generations, and that many of her relatives considered the gene gone.

The sheer intensity of her eyes combined whenever she showed her Sharingan intimidated many. Her hair was black, slightly duller than her father's, and to put it straight, was a very unbecoming shade. Her skin was a pale, milky white, giving off a slightly ghostly appearance.

After the original hospital scare on the day of her birth, she had always been sickly and thin, but as time grew on, she started to gain more and more weight, until she was considered to be rather overweight and very chubby, nearly rivaling Chouji's childhood size. Her size had constantly been a deciding factor in her personal perception, and often detracted from her self esteem.

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_As she walked by silently, hand clasped tightly in her mother's familiar hand, she heard a boy walking with his friends nearby, who were all slightly older than her._

"_Who is she?" one of them whispered._

"_One of those Uchiha twins, I think."_

"_You sure…I thought Uchihas were…you know…"_

_One of the girl started laughing. "Really, I thought that was Chouji-san's kid or something."_

_Whispers and stifled chortles resounded around their little group._

_Another girl slapped her on the arm playfully. "You're so mean." She giggled, obviously not meaning a word of it, covering her mouth. "She's just a kid."_

_Hanako had stopped abruptly in the streets there, dropping her mother's hand, who stared behind her at her daughter with concern. Although no one would say it to her face, she knew how they all felt. What they all really thought of her. Hanako always felt…fat. Ugly. _

_It wasn't like she hadn't seen people jump in shock at her eyes, or her size, or when they heard she was Sasuke's child. _

"_How is it possible?" they used to whisper._

"_Sakura and Sasuke are both good-looking, I just don't get it…"_

_Oh, the shame that bubbled inside her at those words. The feeling of not being able to change the one thing that made her feel so inferior. So hated._

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_Oh, the shame indeed. It didn't help either that Hanako was one of the shyest people around either, only revealing her true personality to those she loved.

Seiko was a social girl, capturing the attention of people whenever she walked into a room. Loved by the majority of the village, she was considered to be a very sweet girl, her laughter often filling Konoha with a little more light every day. Constantly curious, she often went on her own excursions, occasionally accompanied by some of the other village children to discover new places and new things. The villagers always asked her to come by and visit them, just so they could be around in her cheerful company.

Often, Hanako opted out of these trips. The thought of having to meet people was of a personal, crippling fear that haunted her in childhood. Instead, she stayed home, watching her brother train, who was always showing her the new techniques and jutsus he had mastered at the Academy. Sometimes, she sat with her father in the Uchiha courtyard, no words exchanged, as she quietly watched his hands move with precision as he sharpened his weapons. The other times, when Sakura wasn't at the hospital, she often took her daughter out to the parks to just…talk. The villagers just saw her as shy, and often rather emotional. More than once had she been caught crying in public after hearing someone mutter something rude about her again.

Everyone in the family knew why she was so unstable. But nothing any of them said could ever bring her out of her bouts of deep sadness. Sakura would constantly comfort her, saying that no matter what anybody else said, she was the most beautiful girl in the world. This hardly succeeded, usually only prompting more tears from the scorned Hanako.

Despite their glaring differences, the girls were inseparable. The best of friends. The were innumerable instances where Sakura had to have the girls sleep in separate rooms, just because of the fact they never stopped talking and giggling at night.

Sasuke had always kept a very watchful eye on Hanako. The girls weren't even old enough to enter the Academy, and he could already see the resentment, the jealousy, simmering deep inside of Hanako. To compensate for her self-consciousness, he spent more time with her than Hanako, telling her stories of his childhood, however conveniently keeping out the events of Itachi's betrayal.

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The fateful day came when the girls had reached the age to enter the Academy. Seiko had woken up before the rest of the village, shrieking in excitement, prompting tired smiles from her parents. Hanako, on the other hand, had to be practically dragged out of bed, amidst her constant protests of blatantly refusing to go.

Sasuke and Sakura had both decided they would see the twins off to school. They tailed behind, watching Hanako and Seiko stare in awe at their older brother, who cockily pointed to himself and consistently reassured them that 'it would take a while before they reached _his_ level.'

As the Academy gates came into view, both Sakura and Sasuke felt a pang of nostalgia, remembering their first days. And now, delivering their last children into the experienced and veteran hands of Iruka-sensei, it seemed that time had really caught up to them.

When they stepped into the opening courtyard, a blonde, blue eyed girl waved at Seiko from a corner of the courtyard. Seiko squealed and released her parents' hands, running over to play with Ino's daughter. Ino smiled and raised a hand in recognition at Sasuke, before sauntering up to Sakura and striking up gossipy conversation with her. Fugaku had run off towards his other boyish comrades, their loud laughter echoing off the walls of the Academy.

Hanako stayed back, shrouded and afraid, clutching onto her mother's leg as if it were the last thing she did. Even though Seiko turned and motioned for Hanako to come over, her face drained of what little color it had and she was unable to comply. Then, Yumi, Ino's daughter, turned toward Hanako, giving her a quick up-down glance, before grimacing slightly and turning away, clearly displeased with what she saw in Hanako. Even though it was to be expected from the vain Yumi, the disgusted glare she shot Hanako conjured up an indescribable pain, something from the very pits of her stomach that made her both nauseous and infuriated.

Sakura looked sadly down at her daughter. The forehead insults still stuck with her, but how it must feel to be Hanako, to feel insecure about every aspect of herself…must've been torture. Involuntarily, she placed a comforting hand on her daughter's shaking shoulder, remembering the whole 'billboard brow' thing and empathizing with her.

Sakura knelt down, about to suggest that she and Hanako could go talk somewhere else, before an aquamarine-eyed boy with sunny blonde hair approached.

* * *

Hanako shrunk back visibly, whimpering slightly, arms coming up to cower behind her shivering arms. The boy raised an eyebrow at her, before breaking out into a wide grin, showing he was missing a tooth.

"Hi there!" he chirped cheerfully. Hanako didn't respond, green eyes widening as she felt a Sharingan coming on from the fear of the boy. Her mother just smiled at the sweet boy, and nudged her daughter closer to him, hoping that she could maybe make a friend.

Hanako stared at him fearfully while his smile turned into an expression of perplexed features.

"You don't talk much, do you?" he asked innocently, before smiling again. "Well, that's fine; I'll fill up the silence anyway. My dad says I talk too much, though...whatever that means." He rubbed the back of his head guiltily, before shrugging. "I honestly have no idea what he's talking about, but then again, my dad's pretty nuts most of the time." Instead of shrinking away, Hanako just smiled at the energetic boy, bringing her hands down to clasp them behind her back sweetly.

Sakura looked up and cocked an eyebrow at the now matured, blonde Hokage standing behind his son, who just shrugged non-chalantly and smiled down at the scene unfolding in front of him. Sasuke was perched in a branch, watching all three of his children socialize, urging the corners of his mouth to upturn slightly.

* * *

"Well, anyway, my name's Rinji." He pointed a thumb to himself, before extending his hand. "What's your name?"

Hanako bit her nail, before extending her hand as well and mumbling something.

"Neh?" he leaned in closer to her.

Hanako flushed at how close the two were, having never been close to anyone before besides her family, before pushing him back slightly and repeating herself. "My name's Hanako."

"Neat." Rinji grasped her hand and shook it. He looked around, watching the somewhat filled courtyard. "No one else is here yet; wanna play in the sandbox or something?"

Hanako turned around to her mother, uncertainty laced in her dainty features. Her mother beamed and nodded encouragingly. Without waiting for a response, Rinji tightened his hold on Hanako's wrist and dragged her off to the nearby sandbox, while Sakura stood and sighed happily, tilting her head to one side and striking up conversation with Naruto.

"Well, now, where have I seen this before…?" she asked, tapping her chin lightly and staring up at the sky, smiling.

Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, I guess you could say we're pretty similar."

Sakura scoffed. "Similar? He's like your clone." She ruffled his hair playfully. Naruto just nodded and laughed alongside with her, with a heart at much more peace and much needed return of his easygoing nature since Sasuke's homecoming.

Sasuke watched his oldest daughter sit in the sandbox, eyes wide and curious as Rinji held something secretively in his palm, before revealing it to her with a loud 'Ta-da!' A long, spindly millipede was in his hand, hundreds of tiny legs crawling along his palm. This earned Rinji a loud scream from Hanako, who fell backwards, while Rinji burst into well-meaning laughter.

Sasuke inclined his head to the side. Maybe things weren't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

The Academy days sped by. Seiko excelled in all aspects of shinobi training, passing through her courses at the top of class and with flawless technique, taught by her ever-strict father. Hanako had fallen behind slightly, and was either average or poor in some of her classes. She often refused training from her father, afraid to have him see how weak she was compared to Seiko. The one class she seemed to do rather well in was chakra control, where she was able to hang upside down off a tree with ease on the first day, most likely a trait from Sakura's talent.

Rinji was a fairly good student; however his regular bouts of pranking and falling asleep in class earned him several detentions, which later propelled him to the bottom of the class.

By this point in time, Seiko was spending increasing amounts of time with Yumi and her clique of friends, who had later convinced Seiko to alienate herself from her sister. As time went on, Seiko looked farther down on her sister, until they hardly spoke at all and almost never acknowledged each other's existence.

For the time being, Hanako spent the majority of her time with Rinji, who never once had a bad word for her and never paid attention to her looks, much to Hanako's gratitude. At the start of school, Rinji had been quite popular, but when Yumi's group began to make personal attacks on Hanako, Rinji stepped in to defend her, both of them plummeting to the bottom of the student body 'popularity scale', and neither of them caring. The one other friend they shared was Hitonomi, Kiba's son, whom everyone called Hito for short. Even though it seemed Hito held a huge amount of potential to do well in his classes, he seemed resistant to utilizing it, resulting in him failing the majority of his classes due to lack of practice.

Nonetheless, it was common knowledge Seiko held strong feelings for Hito, even though Hito was incredibly stand-offish, and the only time he ever joked around or spoke loudly was with his friends and family. Frankly, although Hito didn't particularly enjoy Hanako's company, he certainly liked her much more than the eternally annoying Yumi, who now seemed to be recruiting Seiko onto her side of vanity and bullying, or in Hanako's words, 'the dark side'. As Hito and Hanako put up with each other, very slowly, but steadily, they gradually became closer, until their trio could be considered best friends.

Even though Hanako assured her friends that she was fine, the comments Seiko and Yumi made about her weight were constantly burdening her. As a result, she went into a spiraling phase of peculiar dieting, and often ended up skipping breakfast and lunch, causing her to pass out during her classes or perform poorly in the strength tests at school. In the end, though, she usually wasn't able to stand it, resulting in her going home and binge eating and not changing her appearance in the slightest. Hanako wished dearly for a chance to be out of the Academy, so she could start her life, away from Seiko and the whispers behind her back, away from the wide-eyed, shocked glances frequently thrown her way. Being a kunoichi demanded respect, especially a high level one.

As the Academy years drew to a close, Sasuke recounted how close his daughters had been on the first day. They went through those doors as friends and emerged as…what…enemies? Rivals? Hardly. What Seiko saw as important and what Hanako viewed as important were entirely different worlds, different cosmos. Yet how come the tension between the two just seemed to keep growing?

He closed his eyes, at the sheer irony of it. The one time he ignored the warnings in the head was the one time his predictions went against his will, and actually occurred.

* * *

"And now, this year's passing graduates!" Iruka announced loudly, the audience below responding with a flurry of loud clapping.

"First off, Seiko Uchiha, top of the class!"

Sakura wiped away a tear, while Sasuke just proudly watched his daughter ascend the platform and be presented with a leaf headband, tying it on and then bowing respectfully to Iruka. She leaped off the stage and squealed giddily with her friends before taking her place with her relatives in the audience.

Iruka continued to read out the names, as Hanako twiddled her fingers nervously. She had done fine on the final exam, breezed though it, as a matter of fact, and when asked to create a doppelganger, hers turned out fairly well, save for a few minor differences in the clone and herself.

Rinji lounged in the chair next to Hanako lazily, arms propped up behind his head while he yawned loudly. Hanako found herself smiling at him, as she had been doing more often lately. She blushed as she recounted the thoughts that drove her to act this way. Although something she was hesitant to admit, Rinji had grown…rather good-looking through the Academy years. And Hanako was a girl…and just like any other girl her age…she had strange feelings she couldn't begin to understand or unravel.

Hanako sighed, resigning herself to thinking he most likely didn't feel the same way. She turned to her left, watching Hito intently, as he ignored Iruka and stayed absorbed in feeding his dog comrade treats.

* * *

I smiled at the two boys, _my _two boys, who were both younger than me, which annoyed Rinji to no end, since he was also shorter. I didn't get the peculiar logic behind being younger and shorter, so I remained silent and just shook my head at his childishness.

I relaxed back in my chair to see that Iruka had already finished calling out the names, and the children were already standing and being congratulated by their parents, with promises of going out to dinner and gifts and whatnot.

I was immediately alarmed; why hadn't my name been called? Then I realized I had been daydreaming for the majority of the entire graduation, and had probably missed my name. I stood and moved awkwardly through the crowd, squeezing myself through the tight spaces between joyous families, leaving behind my careless friends.

I sauntered up to the desk, shyness taking over. Iruka was organizing his papers and cast a quick glance and smile at me.

"Hanako." He acknowledged. "Do you need something?"

I stuttered something incoherent, before taking a deep breath and letting it all out in a flurry of words.

"Didyoucallmyname? I rushed out.

He stared at me, arching an eyebrow, and leaning closer, puzzlement on his features.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that a little slower?" he chuckled.

I sighed.

"Why wasn't my name called, Iruka-sensei? I didn't hear anything." I said, a hell of a lot sadder than I meant for it to sound, gesturing pathetically with my oversized hands.

His expression went from cheery to grave, before he looked back down at his papers and reorganized the already neat pile.

"I'm sorry Hanako." He said sadly. "But I'm afraid you failed."

* * *

My blood froze. I…what? No, impossible, I did great, no, _amazing, _on the test. This just wasn't…it wasn't possible. Illogical. A mistake.

"But-but, I did great on the test, sensei!" I pleaded softly.

Iruka-sensei shook his head at me, my heart breaking in the process.

"No, it wasn't that. It's just…your other courses this year have been rather lacking in proficiency, and it was decided upon by many of your teachers, including myself, that it was in your best interests that you should stay behind one more year, regardless of how you did on the test. You passed out a lot during your courses this year," he narrowed his eyes at me, knowing of my earlier phase of starvation and binging. "They think you need some more training, even if they see potential in you."

The humiliation. The shame. Oh, kami, Seiko would have it on me forever now. My kami, what would my parents think? What would Yumi say?

I could feel the tears coming on, but I had to walk away with some dignity. My teacher already knew I was weak. Yumi knew I was weak. Everyone knew I was weak. Even I did. But…I had to keep my pride. I wouldn't ever let anyone know how much they hurt me. I blinked them back and forced the most awkward smile on my face.

"That's alright sensei. I'll just try harder next year!" I pathetically tried pumping my fist in the air, with the way Rinji did it, however, I possessed none of his charisma and failed miserably.

Iruka just stared at me with sad…and disappointed eyes.

I just couldn't take it. I ran. I couldn't bear to tell my parents, to see them give me the same sad eyes. Seiko would tell them anyway, she would revel in seeing my suffering tonight.

* * *

I had no idea as to where I was going, just that I had to get away from there. How could I fail? I tried so hard at everything. I couldn't train as hard as Seiko, not when she was watching. I would never train in front of her and let her see my weaknesses, and now I was paying the cost for my arrogance.

I tripped over a stone, but it didn't stop me in the least. I covered my face in my hands, feeling my hands dampen and my face flush. Why…why did I have to be me? Why couldn't I be a talented and pretty girl, like Seiko? Why couldn't I even be happy?

Abruptly, I came slamming headfirst with a wall, dazing me and sending me flying to the ground on my butt. I opened my eyes, the world dizzying around me, my vision still as blurry as ever due to the tears.

I wiped my face and sniffled softly there, before slowly standing up and examining my surroundings. I was in the old playground, the one where Rinji and I, and eventually Hito, used to play at after school. I eyed the old swingset and the ancient jungle gym there, several twigs and leaves scattered messily along the gravel.

Still crying, I wrapped my arms around my overweight form and walked around, slowly surveying the old playground, gravel crunching loudly under my feet. My hair flapped about me as another powerful gust of air swept through the area. As I walked up to the jungle gym, I spotted a familiar ramp, an entrance to the jungle gym. Beneath the ramp was a large expanse of gravel, where my friends and I used to play pretend and whatnot.

* * *

I crouched down and lowered myself to my knees, crawling into the tiny space. I peeked around at the corners, and found myself smiling slightly through the tears. Several pieces of what others would call meaningless trash; we treasured and called the furniture of our 'house'. Several cracked teacups were placed carefully in the corner, with an old dishrag spread out in the gravel as a bed. I tenderly stroked the worn fibers, reminiscing about our old days together. Several other pieces of driftwood were carefully stationed all around the gravel, all meant to serve a variety of purposes, which I started to try and recount.

I pointed to one in the corner. "That was a shelf…" I whispered to no one in particular.

I pointed to another piece of driftwood. "That was the table."

I turned around the whole area, renaming all of our pieces of home. I stopped on one peculiar shaped piece of wood, studying it and picking it up, trying to remember. No matter how hard I scavenged through my memories, I couldn't remember. Sadness seeped into me when I realized I had started letting go of my childhood.

"Pookie." said a voice behind me.

I whipped around, and saw Rinji smiling at me, kneeling down and crawling in beside me, sitting down next to me. I blushed at our closeness, but not enough for him to notice. He held out his arms, and I handed him the driftwood, before I cocked an eyebrow at him, tossing my medium length, and incredibly dull, black hair over my shoulder.

"Pookie?" I questioned, pulling up the sleeves of my dark tunic.

He smiled at me. "Don't you remember? We pretended he was our dog, well, at least before Hito got an _actual _dog. I remember, when we first found him after exploring the forest, you kept insisting on calling him Pookie, and Hito and I were, like, so annoyed." He laughed.

I thought about it, and laughed with him at the memory. "Oh yeah, I remember that." I retrieved Pookie from his hands, clutching the fake dog close to my chest. "I still think it suits him." I cooed at the peculiar driftwood, nuzzling the bark as if it were an actual dog.

Rinji shook his head at me. "You are so weird, Hana."

I turned to chuckle at him. "You bet."

A comfortable silence passed between us after that, while I continued looking around the old playhouse. The wind whistled outside, but as our creative young minds had assured, we had chosen this playhouse just because it was completely sheltered from the weather and everything inside remained intact and safe.

Suddenly, I felt a warm weight beside me, leaning on my shoulder. I looked over my shoulder to see Rinji leaning on me lazily, feet propped up against the wall of the ramp, his eyes closed in thought. I thanked kami-sama he couldn't see me; my blush had been incredibly fierce and red, so much I could feel it burning on my hand when I touched my cheek.

"So…" he started.

Silence.

"So…" I prompted him to continue.

* * *

He sighed. "Hana, I failed. I can't believe it. I was hoping you and I could be on a team together with Hito. And now, you and Hito are both advancing and all…"

I stared in shocked silence at him. Rinji had failed? He excelled at everything.

As if he read my mind, Rinji smiled bitterly.

"Yeah, I was wondering why I failed too. Iruka said it was because I got too many detentions or something."

I snorted loudly, before stifling the rest of my laugh. He shoved my thigh.

"Shut up."

I looked outside at the waving trees sadly, before closing my eyes as well.

"Well, you and me both. I failed too. Iruka said I passed out too much or something."

Rinji, eyes still shut tight, raised an eyebrow. "Really, even you?" He blatantly refused to bring up my earlier anorexia/binging phase, which I silently thanked him for.

I scoffed. "Why, hard to believe? I basically failed at everything, Rinji."

"Well, yeah, but…" he struggled to find words. "My dad failed the first time, and he's Hokage. But you're an Uchiha." He said my surname with great respect, as if being an Uchiha was a greater honor than being Hokage.

I shrugged carelessly, opening my eyes. "It doesn't bother m-"

"Don't even try, Hana."

I stared down at him in shock, eyes narrowing.

"Don't try what?"

"Don't try lying to me, I can tell this is tearing you apart."

I just stared down at him, amazed at how well he knew me.

* * *

"I wanted to be on fair playing ground with Seiko for once." I whispered. "I just…couldn't believe it…" my voice cracked loudly, which triggered the tears again.

Rinji sighed. "Oh, kami Hanako…not this again." He sat up, turning towards me and placing his hands on my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "You're just as good as Seiko is. Better, actually. You're nicer, you care. That's all that matters."

"No…" I whimpered. "She's better at everything. Niceness won't get you anywhere."

"Hey, shh." He calmed me, pulling me into him. As soon as his arms wrapped around me, I broke out into hysterical sobs as he patted my back and smoothed out my hair. I sighed inwardly, thinking this was why he really was my best friend. This was why…maybe I wanted him to be more.

I banished the thought out of my mind immediately. I didn't need to be clouded by doubt or foolish hopes right now. There was a movement of gravel outside, but I didn't pay heed to it. Rinji's arms blocked out the sound, but I could hear him speaking with someone. Then, I felt something furry graze my arm.

I pulled away slightly, wiping at my tear-stained face, looking down at Hito's tiny puppy, which he decided to name Akamaru after his father's partner. I smiled down at the creature and ruffled his fur and scratched his ear, a relieved and content cry emerging from the animal's mouth.

Rinji's arms still locked around me, I saw Hito staring at me with sympathetic eyes, rubbing my calf consolingly. I didn't smile, but patted his hand back to show I appreciated his gesture of comfort.

I went back to hugging Rinji, watching Hito out of the corner of my eye. He looked around our old playhouse, a faint smile playing on his lips.

"I remember this…" he murmured. "The sink, the bed, and….Pookie!" he exclaimed, picking up the driftwood, causing me to let out an involuntary laugh.

"Oh, Hito, you're such a kid." I chuckled.

"Oh look, she smiles." Rinji looked down at me warmly, while I just snuggled quickly back into him and then pulled away, crawling outside of the home.

"C'mon boys, let's go." I said, dusting off my shorts. "We should probably be getting back by now anyway. Several seconds later, they emerged out, Hito once again placing Pookie carefully in his designated sleeping spot, or, as Rinji joked, his 'shrine.'

We started off together, one friend on either side of me. By now, the sun was beginning to set, faint orange on the horizon. I trekked down the hill away from the playground, Akamaru in tow at my heels.

As we left the park, I heard Hito mutter to me. "Really, Pookie?"

I shoved him playfully. "You be quiet. It suited him just fine and you know you liked the name anyway."

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Actually," Rinji interjected. "Hito, I seem to remember you actually agreed with Hana on the name."

Hito stammered angrily. "Dude, who's side are you on?!"

Rinji simply pointed to me, while I smirked and stuck my tongue out at Hito.

Hito and Rinji argued the rest of the way home, dropping me off at my compound with a brief goodbye and some reassuring hugs before the argument started again.

Soon, their bickering faded away into the evening, and I realized happily that no matter how insecure I felt, as long as I had these two people with me, I would be just fine.

* * *

**A/N: Love, hate? I liked this chapter a lot. Don't know why, probably because of Pookie. ^^ Anyways, you guys know where that green button is, do what you gotta do. ;)  
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	3. Changes

**A/N: I sincerely apologize for the long wait :( I've been really busy lately, but I've been working super hard on this chapter for you. BONUS that it's a long chapter too!! Hope you guys enjoy, because I actually did spend my three weeks working on this. **

**Disclaimer: HARHAR. SO FUNNY. PLEASE, STOP, I'M DYING OF LAUGHTER. (end sarcasm) -_____-  
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* * *

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I snuck into the compound, slipping off my sandals at the door and lowering myself to my knees, just outside of the rice paper door. I pressed my ear against the thin door and heard no sound inside. My family must've finished dinner by now.

I quietly stood and tiptoed down the corridor, twisting around the corners, trying to avoid being spotted. On numerous occasions, I nearly encountered my family members, who I all barely, but successfully averted. Finally, I arrived at my room and slipped in, sliding the door shut softly behind me. I took a deep breath.

I wasn't ready to tell my family. I knew they all knew I failed, and I knew they wanted me to tell them myself. But I didn't want to. I just didn't. I was stalling, I knew that. But I was prolonging the moment when I would have to see Seiko stick her badass nose up and scoff pitifully at me.

I walked over to my desk and re-arranged the numerous scrolls sprawled out across it, picking up one of my kunai and carefully staring at it, before carelessly tossing it back into the pile, where it clattered noisily among the other shuriken and weapons. I sighed and plopped down eagle-spread on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I later learned on the way home Hito had failed as well. A part of me was eternally grateful; if I had graduated there was no chance either of them would be on my team. If we graduated together next year we could all be teammates.

At the same time, failing. _Failing._ Since when did Uchihas fail? We were the best of the best; my clan was famous for that. Even Obito Uchiha, considered a hopeless case by many, ended up becoming a revered village hero after sacrificing himself for his teammates. But me? What did I do? What would I be known for?

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples tiredly. "I soil the Uchiha name." I said bitterly, even though I knew it was true. Soiling the family name _was _all I did. I wanted to wake up from this horrible nightmare. No matter how much I wanted to avoid it, I would have to confront my family at some point, as well as all the shame that came with it.

* * *

After being such a loser in the village, by graduating I wanted a chance to become someone; someone who people could respect and look up to as protector. And I failed. I failed myself and my family. All those precautions I took to make sure Seiko never saw me train were coming back now and making me pay, and pay dearly, for that matter.

I drew my knees up to my chest and encircled my knees with my arms. The humid air wafted around me as I eyed a picture of me and my friends from when we were much younger, sitting opposite me on my dresser. I leaned over and pulled it down, staring at the faded photo.

Rinji was smiling widely, flashing a set of pearly whites and brandishing a set of new kunai his father had gotten him. His stance radiated confidence and positivity, with his fist raised proudly and immovable in the air. Like there was no force that could break his determination. The way his eyes gleamed seemed to challenge the world to just try and push him down.

I could see him becoming a great shinobi, maybe even Hokage, just like the past two generations of his family. My eyes drifted over to the other side of the photo, at Hito, who sat lazily on a stone wall, one leg hanging off the wall, the other knee bent with his elbow resting on it. His intense stare and forever watchful eyes made him seem so much mature than he really was. I could see him becoming someone revered and powerful someday, too.

I looked back into the center. It was…me. Normal, ugly, fat me. I was just smiling sort of shyly at the camera, looking like I'd rather be somewhere else. I had always been quiet and withdrawn, except around my friends. I couldn't be myself around anyone but them.

I sighed. Where would I be someday? 5 years from now? 10? 20? What was my life going to become?

As I had learned early on, even though being an Uchiha had its advantages, it didn't make me any better than anyone else; in fact, in my case, it seemed a shame since such a powerful bloodline limit had been wasted on someone like me. I knew I had a great deal of training to go through to become great, with the burden only minutely lightened by my possessing a Sharingan. The main reason I was so hesitant to train was…I didn't want to know my limits. I didn't want to start training and learn my potential was less than Seiko, or worse, not even enough to be a competent kunoichi. I didn't want to learn how far behind I was than everyone else, didn't want them to see how weak I was compared to them.

In short, I didn't want to admit I was weak. Even though every part of me told me I was, my stubbornness refused to take it.

I breathed in slowly, before realizing my room was now sweltering in summer heat. I propped myself up on my knees and, with effort, slid open the stiff window just above my bed, dust clouding around my room quickly. I waved away the dust and turned back to the darkness outside, gratefully sipping in the cool night air, resting my head on my extended forearms on the windowsill. I briefly closed my eyes, enjoying the peacefulness.

It was during these sorts of moments my Sharingan activated, unwillingly, by all means. Even with my eyes closed, I couldn't control the furiously swirling pools of scarlet. I hadn't the cloudiest idea why I wasn't able to control my bloodline gift, since my father said it should've been fairly easy to activate and de-activate.

With my sharpened Sharingan senses, I noticed him there even before he spoke, still keeping my eyes closed.

He didn't speak immediately, just enjoyed the whistling wind and frenzied leaves flying about. That was something both he and I had in common; neither of us were particularly social.

I opened my left eye to see his eyes closed in thought. He was garbed in traditional ninja gear, one leg stretched out, the other bent with his elbow resting on his bent knee, which I noticed with a smile was also Hito's traditional sitting position.

"Dad." I acknowledged quietly, smiling slightly, hardly showing the bubbling terror inside of me at what his reaction would be towards me for failing.

"Aa." He murmured.

I just stared at him, chin resting on my palms, before I clambered out of my room through the window, maneuvering my way through the large opening. I sat down beside him, crossing my legs and folding my hands patiently, staring at him and waiting for a signal.

When none came, I started twiddling my thumbs. I had no idea what he intended to happen. Should I come out and try and explain myself? Or wait for a scolding first? Or should I not even bring it up at all?

I just sighed softly and resigned myself to whatever punishment might come my unfortunate way. "I'm sorry, Dad. I'm sorry if I disappointed you." I clawed at the dirt beneath me, trying to find a channel to express my regret.

He said nothing, just sat there, unmoving and silent like a statue. Finally, he let out a breath, and turned his head toward me, placing his arm in front of me, his long sleeve pooling around his hand.

"What is this?" he asked stern, but quietly.

I looked around. "What's what?"

"What is the symbol on my sleeve?"

I stared at it. "It's the Uchiha clan symbol; a fan, to fan the flames that we use in our jutsus."

He nodded at me. "So what does it mean?"

I looked at him curiously. "It just means you're an Uchiha."

"And…" he gestured for me to continue.

"And…" I thought about it. Nothing particular really came to mind. "Nothing. Just an Uchiha."

"Exactly." He turned his entire body towards me, still crouching on the ground. "Uchiha is just a name; it doesn't mean we're perfect and don't have our flaws, and it certainly doesn't mean we never fail."

I looked down, away from him. He knew me way too well, he could practically read my thoughts. I stared at my hands before his cool fingers gently tilted my head back up to face him.

"Don't be ashamed, Hanako. Don't be too eager to join the shinobi world. If you're not ready, you're not ready. Better to be an older, experienced genin than a young, foolhardy one. Do you understand?"

I sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, I get it." Some nagging part of me took over at that moment. "But Seiko-"

"Is of no importance in this conversation." He finished simply for me, waving dismissively at the thought before shutting his eyes tiredly. "Hanako, you need to stop comparing yourself to her. Her passing and you not doesn't make you any less loved or talented. Comparison to her is what made you fail. Focus on your strengths and work for yourself, _your improvement,_ not her."

I didn't say anything, and took in his words without thinking about it. I couldn't _not_ compare myself to her. It was a plain fact, like an instinct, something I couldn't control however much I may wish otherwise. How could I not, when she was so perfect at everything and I wasn't? How could I focus on my strengths if I felt I had none, as if she had stolen them from me when I was just a helpless being in my mother's womb? How could I be anything if she was...well, everything?

"Alright, I'll stop." I lied. My dad looked skeptical, but accepted my answer anyway, going back to reclining on the outer wall of my room. Finally, after a rather long period of time of just sitting with me, I noticed the indigo night had now become a pitch black chasm, leading off into the distance, with minuscule points of light dotting the dimly lit courtyard outside my room.

I yawned. "I'm gonna head to bed now." I stood and winced at my cracking joints, before slipping back into my warm room. I cast a brief glance at my father.

"Night, dad. Love you."

He continued to stare out pensively, before he nodded.

"Good night Hanako." He bent over and gave me a quick kiss on the forehead, before he stood and disappeared into some other part of the compound.

I shoved the window closed after him and placed my hands on my hips, staring about my room. There was several jigsaw pieces of a bed piled neatly in a corner. The pieces of Seiko's old bed.

* * *

I sank to the floor, fingering the stray screws and nails. We used to share this room, Seiko and I, until she…well, hated me. She asked to get her own room after that and moved into a room on the other side of the compound, near Fugaku and my parents. As it turned out, my entire family slept in the eastern portion, while I was the only one who slept in the west, just because I enjoyed watching the sunset, never having been much of a morning person.

Not that I minded the solitude. I could keep to myself, think whatever I wanted, do whatever I wanted, to an extent, of course. I was free from my family over here.

I was happy here. Yes, happy.

And incredibly lonely.

In the past, my mother had my sister and I sleep here because we were keeping up the rest of the family with our non-stop chattering. But when Seiko left, it was colder, quieter, the silence weighed down by my personal sorrows, which were no longer uplifted by an encouraging sister, just stomped down by a snarky enemy, forged from the remnants of my best friend.

A part of me wanted to go over and be with the rest of my family, but I felt like…it was like crawling back to Seiko. Like I was begging to be in her previous accepting presence. Which, no matter how hard I may have tried to deny, I wanted. How I wanted it so badly, to feel loved by her again. And the pain when I couldn't receive it and just had to hide my shame and denial under a colder, steel-hard and withdrawn mask. Twas a heavy burden, and not one that I carried with any optimism or hope.

I sighed, convincing myself that dwelling on fruitless matters would get me nowhere. I flicked off my light and snuggled under the covers, feeling as though my family were miles away, unreachable. And in more ways than just physically.

I turned over and shut my eyes, ignoring the hard blows of sadness and silence, drenched in my feelings of loneliness, and feeling no way of escape. That night, I dreamt for the first time in weeks.

I dreamt I was drowning.

* * *

No, I was going to do better. I was going to prove them all wrong. I was going to make it.

* * *

I arrived at the Academy the next day, while Seiko, Yumi and all the other passing graduates were off training with their senseis.

As I took my seat, each one of my boys slid in on either side of me. As Iruka started to re-evaluate our courses, I heard Rinji snoring softly beside me.

I thought about how dearly I wanted all three of us to graduate, maybe even be on the same team, so I slapped him awake. He grumbled and wiped a stream of saliva from the corner of his mouth, but managed to stay awake for the rest of the day anyway.

Hito's eyes frequently drifted toward outside, as he lazily ignored all of Iruka's instructions. Yesterday, when Hito informed me he had failed as well, I only expected as much. Often, he was rude and condescending to his instructors, landing him in detention right next to Rinji. I exchanged glances with both of them.

I guess we all had things we had to work on.

But nonetheless, I was determined. I was going to pass. And they were going to come with me.

* * *

I leaned against Rinji's shoulder, eyes closed in pensive thought. This year had been a good year. We had all done exceedingly well in our classes, vastly improving from our poor technical executions reminiscent of last year.

By now, I had loftier goals. Not only did I intend to pass, I intended to graduate at the top of the class.

I was slightly more confident this time around. I had lost some weight, but not all of it. People still stared at me and I still, quite often still, cried about my being overweight. But improvement was improvement, and progress was progress; at this point I was willing to accept anything.

Iruka sat in the exact same spot as last year, carefully organizing the large piles of student documents. He held up one and stood.

"And now, this year's top graduate."

I turned my head away from the crowd, away from Iruka, just closing my eyes in Rinji's sleeve. God, how I wanted to be top…

If I didn't graduate top, I wanted one of my friends to. We all did great this year, and I was immensely proud of my boys.

Then the thought came. I could visualize it now…my large hands wrapping carefully around the headband as though it were made of porcelain…skipping into my parents opened arms as they murmured how proud they were of me into my hair.

I felt an insistent tugging on my navy tunic sleeve. I slapped Hito's hand away; he probably just wanted to annoy me. Suddenly, familiar hands wrapped around my crown and pushed me away. Rinji was grasping my head, tilting my face upward to look at him, smiling widely.

"Hanako, you graduated top! Go up now, Iruka just called you!"

The rest of it passed in a wild and colorful daze. Somehow, my limp brain had forced my feet to move forward, more like sprinting, actually, up to the platform, where my instructor beamed at me, tired pride in his eyes.

I jumped up. Iruka turned around and held a blue forehead protector in his hand, the metal glinting with newness, carved with a simple leaf insignia on top. My trembling hands reached forward to take it, when Iruka spun me around quickly.

"Allow me." He said, a smile in his voice. He tied on the protector, and an indescribable happiness swelled in my chest as I stared, mouth agape, at him. I bowed low to him, while I heard him whisper to me.

"Well done Hanako. The best of luck to you."

I looked up and grinned at my teacher, before turning back to the clapping audience below, savoring the sweet moment of feeling…confident. My eyes shifted to that of my parents. Fugaku was nodding at me, a small smirk on his features as he turned to his nearby friends and muttered to them, "Damn right, that's my sister." Seiko clapped politely, but didn't show much of a smile. My mom was standing and nearly hysterical, beaming at me. My dad didn't smile; but then again, he never did. The only difference in him was a renewed light in his obsidian depths, one which I'd never been exposed to.

I faintly heard my friends cheering loudly for me while I shuffled over to my parents. I pushed through the crowd and was drawn into a sweet smelling hug.

"I'm so proud of you sweetheart." My mother murmured happily into my head. "I knew you could do it."

I smiled into my mother's hospital uniform, before turning around. I saw Seiko glaring at me. She approached and abruptly, punched me, hard, right in the face. Everything went black, except for several small points of color, swimming in uncontrollably frenzy, no sense of pattern in their movements; solely mania.

What the...?

And then...the drowning sensation again. The same feeling. Choking, dark and forever cold. Drowning...drowning...

No different from my dream.

This made no sense, but then again, most of my life never did.

* * *

"Hanako...Hanako…Hanako!" Someone was calling me, an irritant to my attempting to be calm. "HANAKO!" I felt someone shake my shoulder hard; I shook my head and rubbed my eyes.

"Wuzzgoinon?" I mumbled drowsily.

I stole a glance to my left; Hito had been the one shaking me. "You fell asleep earlier, Hanako."

"I..fell asle-WHAT?!" I freaked out. Oh my kami, I must've fallen asleep on Rinji's shoulder earlier, except now…Rinji was nowhere to be found. And the graduation…again? Really? Once is bad but twice in a row?!

"I-wait, Rinji, and he-" I stammered, gesturing with my hands to try and explain my incoherent banter.

Hito shook his head at my strange babbling, smiling slightly. "Rinji graduated top." He said.

I paused, and stared at him. Rinji…graduated top? Rinji, one of my boys Rinji?

This was amazing news, news I had been in fact somewhat expecting. However happy I might've been for Rinji however, a part of me was very…disappointed. At how I wasn't the one to graduate top. I felt ashamed at how much I had been expecting to graduate to top, how arrogant I had been acting about it.

"That's great!" I said anyway, trying my best to sound cheerful. Well, there was no one I'd rather get top place over me than Rinji or Hito. And besides, Rinji did work particularly hard this year, maybe he did deserve it more than me. I felt someone tap me on my shoulder then.

Rinji was beaming at me, donning a brand new Konoha forehead protector. "Hana-chan, did you hear?"

I nodded giddily and gave him a big hug. "I'm so proud of you. You totally deserve it." I involuntarily inhaled his scent then and blushed at how he actually smelled good.

"Thanks." He pulled away, much too quickly for my liking, before pointing to Hito.

"Yeah, even dog boy over there graduated. Go figure." Hito came over and cuffed Rinji hard, the boys starting to get into a play fight then. I shook my head at how it seemed they hadn't grown up at all in the last few years.

Since I had dozed off again, like last year, I realized by sweatdropping, I tried to find Iruka. He no longer sat at his post at the front of the now thinning audience. I started panicking. Kami, even if it was just a headband, I wanted it!

"Congratulations." I heard my teacher say behind me. I whipped around, to see him holding it out to me. I stared in wide-eyed awe at the headband, afraid to touch it but wanting it so bad anyway. Iruka smiled at me, and dropped it into my now outstretched arms.

"You've made great progress this year Hanako. I'm very proud of you. The best of luck." He bowed to me slightly, prompting me to bow even lower.

"Arigato, sensei." I whispered reverently.

After Iruka disappeared into the crowd, I turned my gaze down to the simple headband. At this moment, it was if nothing in the entire world was more precious to me. I ran my thumb over the smooth, clean metal, fingering the blue cloth. Inwardly, I compared it to the battered forehead protectors of older shinobi, each scratch and tear another mark of another hard fought battle.

What adventures would this headband see with me? I pondered. Shakily, I awkwardly attempted to tie it on, before warm hands playfully slapped my hands away and expertly knotted the cloth together for me. I spotted a familiar flash of pink out of the corner of my eye.

"Thanks mom." I chirped happily.

"Hmm, no problem." She backed up away from me, turning me around and surveying me from head to toe, before laughing. "Yeah, the headband suits you nicely." Then she drew me into a tight hug.

"Well done, I believed you could do it. Now you're an official shinobi and you're gonna be going on missions soon." I heard her sigh sadly. "You guys grow up so fast, I just can't keep up."

I hugged her back. "It's just genin, our missions probably won't even be that good."

She nodded, before I felt her head lift away from my shoulder as she stared at someone behind me. I inclined my head over, staring at the one behind me.

Seiko stood there, awkwardly, I might add, looking as if she would've preferred to be somewhere else, which I'm sure she did. Her hands were clasped behind her back as she shifted back and forth on the balls of her feet.

"Yeah…um…" Seiko mumbled, eyes drifting around aimlessly. "I guess…I just wanted to say congrats for graduating and all…so, good job."

I nodded stiffly back at her. "Thanks."

The moment passed, long and embarrassingly quiet, between us, before Seiko spoke up.

"Yeah, I'll guess I'll just be going then…" she looked down. "See you."

I didn't respond. Just stole a glance at my feet before starting off away from my mother toward Rinji and Hito.

"I'm gonna get going, mom. Iruka's announcing teams soon."

She acknowledged me morosely, obviously not pleased with how distant Seiko and I were acting.

I jogged up to my friends, entering the Academy doors again, for what I hoped, would be the last time.

* * *

"Team 7, Hyuga Takashi,-" Iruka called out loudly. I stole a glance at Takashi, cold pearl eyes staring intently ahead. As was expected of him, he was a prodigy, just like his father, Neji. The only difference was his slightly more feisty personality, obviously from Tenten.

Hito was leaning on my shoulder, Akamaru bounding up on down and Hito's abdomen excitedly. Rinji was casually sharpening kunai next to me, however contrary to his outward appearance; he was intently hanging on every word that escaped Iruka's mouth.

I sat with my legs crossed expectantly, hands folded neatly in my lap. I tried not to worry too much about who I would be teamed with; thinking whoever it was would be for the best.

"Team 9. Uzumaki Rinji." Iruka announced to the class. Rinji sat up abruptly, eyes wide as he listened for the next names, his now abandoned kunai clattering loudly to the floor. He shot a quick look at both Hito and me, before turning back to Iruka.

"Inuzuka Hitonomi." Hito looked over his shoulder at our teacher, shrugging and going back to staring out the window, ignorant as ever.

"Uchiha Hanako."

I let out an audible breath. Thank kami. I massaged my forehead as I leaned back in my chair, finally relaxed. I was set for shinobi life. These two boys and I would help each other grow, away from the prying and cruel eyes of other people. And by the time our team would have to split up, we would all be respected enough we wouldn't need a team anymore.

That's what I believed. It's what I wanted.

* * *

"She's on _who's _team?!" Seiko screamed, fists clenching, and eyes wild with jealous rage.

Yumi panted, hands on her knees. "I…just heard…" she held up a hand to catch her breath. "People…are saying…Hanako and Hito are on the same team. Rinji too."

Seiko seethed out through her teeth. She kicked a nearby stone hard enough it went flying into a nearby field. "Well, isn't that just peachy!" she spat out.

Yumi stood, wiping the sweat off her fair brow, icy blue eyes penetrating through Seiko's back. "What're you gonna do?"

Seiko sighed angrily, and began ripping the bark mercilessly off a nearby victim tree. "What can I do? It's already been decided."

Yumi folded her arms and jutted her hip out to one side. "What's your point? Just because they're on the same team doesn't mean-"

"Yeah, well, it makes it a hell of a lot harder to get him to like me, now doesn't it?!" Seiko yelled.

Yumi approached her best friend and leaned against the skinless tree. She stared at her, until Seiko calmed down.

"Look, Hito already hates me just because we once made fun of Hanako." Seiko sighed unhappily, acid tinged in her normally sweet voice. "Now that Hanako's on his team…just imagine the stuff she's gonna say about me to him." She buried her face in her hands and sunk down against the tree to the gnarled base. "He'll hate me forever. He'll never like me back now."

Yumi propped herself against the tree, disbelieving blue depths turned towards her.

"Yeah, I kinda doubt that. Don't you think she's a little too…"

Seiko turned to Yumi. "What?"

"Well…nice?" Yumi shrugged, eyes full of imploring for Seiko's understanding. "Quiet? I mean, she hasn't really said anything bad about you, at least as far as we know. Besides, probably nothing will happen. They're best friends, but not like, dating or anything. And she's the only girl Hito has ever really been that close to. I think you're fairly safe for now." Yumi nodded while she said this, before going back to inspecting her cleanly filed nails.

Seiko whistled out a breath of air, hands scrambled dejectedly in a pile in her lap. "Whatever you say."

* * *

My friends and I were on the rooftop of the Hokage's office, overlooking Konoha. Rinji leaned with his back against the railing, elbows propped up simply beside him, staring at the clear sky above. I was next to him, looking down at the scene below me, the people in the streets below looking like tiny insects.

Hito was playing with Akamaru on the stair steps behind us when Rinji let out an impatient huff. "Dude, when's our sensei gonna get here? We've been sitting here for like, 3 hours!" he complained loudly.

Hito regarded him with bored eyes. "Rinji, it's been 15 minutes. Calm down."

Rinji snorted rudely. "Whatever. We still shouldn't be sitting here. I bet all the other teams are already doing something fun." He wistfully turned his gaze back to the bustling Konoha streets.

Akamaru ran up to me, standing on his hind legs and propping his front legs on my shins. I cracked a tiny smile for the puppy before crouching down and petting him. Suddenly, I heard an audible gasp from Hito.

I looked up, to see him staring in awe at me. I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"What? Something on my face?" I started patting my face, looking incredibly stupid, I'm sure, however he didn't respond, just continued staring, mouth agape at me. I stood up, irritated by his lack of response, and placed my hands on my hips.

"Hito, what the hell are you staring at?" I demanded. "It's not funny, so you can cut it out."

Hito's mouth was wide open as he stared behind me, raising a shaky finger as Rinji cleared his throat loudly.

"Erhmm…behind you…" he mumbled.

I whipped around to see a flash of white hair and one eye staring back at me.

So I did the natural thing.

* * *

I uttered a piercing scream and threw a chakra laced punch at whatever was there. Afterwards, the momentum of the punch sent me stumbling backwards until I tripped over my ankles and landed hard on the cement platform, and shook my head free of the stars surrounding it, taking a closer look at who had given me such a start.

The man ducked easily before rubbing the back of his head guiltily. "Sorry…too soon to be sneaking up on you guys?"

We all stayed silent, gaping at him and sweatdropping in sync.

He was a muscular man, rather old to still be living as a jonin, I thought. He wore a tight-fitted mask that wrapped around the lower portion of his face, revealing only a singular right eye. It was nearly impossible to tell whether he was smiling or frowning from this masked position. He had a head full of unruly white hair that billowed in the manic winds of Konoha, growing more disheveled as he dismounted his crouching post on the railing I was leaning on moments previous.

He fell back on the railing lazily, before reaching into his belt and protruding a worn orange book, flipping it open and becoming immediately enraptured in its pages. I recognized that orange cover as something written by one of the Legendary Sannin, Jiraiya. My parents had once told me about those books, both of them grimacing grotesquely when reminded of the sickening, pornographic material written by him. I crinkled my nose at what he could possibly be reading that for.

_Maybe he's still a virgin? _A cynical voice inside me suggested.

I inwardly shook my head, before he spoke up.

"Alright, introductions." He droned. "You, the girl with unnatural chakra punches. You're up first."

* * *

_Chakra punches. Huh. Just like her mother. _Kakashi thought with tired happiness.

* * *

I cowered back slightly, afraid of this new man I had never met before and my overwhelmingly shy side taking over. "W-What should I s-s-say?" I stammered foolishly. Hito sniggered behind me at my stuttering attitude, while I gave him a one fingered salute behind my back.

Kakashi sighed, lowering his book as he ran one hand through his unruly hair. "You know, the usual: dreams, hopes, likes, dislikes, the usual."

I leaned back on my heels, my hands clutched loosely around each other in front of me. "Well…I'm Hanako Uchiha." Kakashi's eyebrow twitched slightly at the mention of my surname, but I hardly took it as a sign of anything. "My dream is to become a powerful kunoichi so I can prove everyone who made fun of me wrong, and so I can gain respect and protect people who I care about. I suppose you could say I just want…to be accepted." I rubbed my arm at this while Hito and Rinji continued to stare at me intently, Kakashi seemingly absorbed in his novel, before lazily waving his hand. "And?"

"And…I don't particularly like anything, besides hanging out with my friends. But I know what I don't like." My voice turned bitter at this. "I hate…just, like, absolutely _detest, _Se-" I paused at this, noticing Rinji's miniscule shake of the head. "I strongly _dislike_ a certain person." I finished with extreme stiffness and self-restraint.

Kakashi continued. "Alright, up next. The kid with the dog."

Hito was petting Akamaru, before looking up with strangely distant eyes. "Uh…yeah, I'm Hitonomi Inuzuka, Hito for short. I don't really have any dream in particular; I'm just here because my dad made me." Hito scoffed at this in annoyance, while scratching the red triangular tattoo on his cheek. "Don't like anything or anyone, 'sides Akamaru, I guess."

Rinji and I both sweatdropped at this. Rinji made a visible 'What?" gesture with his hands. Hito looked up with innocent ignorance in his eyes. "Oh…yeah, and you guys too."

I stifled a small laugh. "And…yeah, guess that's it about me." Hito shrugged.

Kakashi yawned. "You guys are so boring." I inwardly snorted at this.

"Now you," he pointed to Rinji. "I presume you're the Hokage's son?"

Rinji nodded. "My name's Rinji Uzumaki. Yeah, I'm the Hokage's son. I want to follow in my father's footsteps and make a change in the world. My dream is to get rid of the Akatsuki, and make sure they stay gone for all the future generations." Rinji's cerulean orbs lit up as he said this. "I think there's something likable in everyone, so I don't dislike anything or anyone, unlike dog boy over here." Rinji jutted a thumb out at Hito, who merely hmphed in return.

Hito and Rinji exchanged a brief glaring session before silence settled heavily on us, and I awkwardly played with the fabric of my tunic sleeve while waiting for Kakashi's reaction. Several agonizingly long minutes ticked by while Kakashi still pored over his personal porn.

Hito cleared his throat loudly to signal our sensei, while Kakashi's head whipped up as he stared around in puzzlement, before turning his gaze to us and allowing his expression to become sullen again.

"Oh, you guys are done." He stated the blatantly obvious in a monotone, causing the rest of us to sweatdrop once again at him in disbelief at his disregard at us. Rinji leaned over closer to me, whispering.

"Oh, and we're supposed to trust our lives with this old bat? Not freaking likely." he sniggered.

Suddenly, the sound of clanking metal whisked past my ear. Rinji cried out while I fell backwards, breath hitching in my chest. My eyes, squinted shut, opened a crack. Out of our trio, Hito had not reacted in the slightest fashion, still calmly stroking Akamaru's fur, while the dog just continued to whimper happily.

Rinji was leaning backwards; elbows braced against the ground while he panted heavily, several beads of sweat working their way down his face. Kakashi hadn't moved, excluding his right arm, which was now leaning down by his side casually after he had thrown the shuriken at Rinji.

Behind Rinji, several shuriken were firmly implanted in the stone wall in a Rinji shaped, several of them grazing Rinji's cheek, evident by the small cuts now present on his face.

Kakashi yawned. "Would you mind saying that again, Rinji, I'm not quite sure I could hear you." Sarcasm was laced heavily in his voice.

Rinji panted, clearly set off by the sharp weapons coming his way. He straightened up, before directing his gaze into his lap shamefully. "S-sorry Sensei." He mumbled weakly.

Hito snickered quietly off to the side, before Rinji landed an angry punch on his arm, making Hito look upward and raise his hands in front of him innocently, his face oozing fake sympathy.

I shook my head. What a wonderful start to Team 9, I tiredly acknowledged.

* * *

I walked away from our meeting place, Rinji repeatedly rubbing his fresh cut and scowling occasionally, muttering about our supposed 'crazed' teacher. Hito was barely awake, shuffling along the ground lazily while Akamaru bounded energetically in front of his master.

I kicked a rock on the ground, Rinji scuffing it back onto the trail in front of me every time my kicks sent it straying from my reach. I silently thanked him with several gentle nudges every now and then, which he returned as well.

We were approaching an intersection directly below the Hokage's office; I could almost feel the exposure of the Hokage being able to see me. We approached the corner of a small, faded white stone shop. I approached it and walked along parallel with it, running my hand across a deep gash in the stone, and sufficiently intrigued by the blemish in the stone, poked out a few loose pebbles as my fingers felt along the crack.

Suddenly, a familiar giggle resounded from the crack. I blinked twice in confusion, before continuing along. That same laughter insistently echoed out from the crack, irking me enough that I sighed in defeat and pressed my ear to the crack in earnest, waiting for a response. My teammates continued on, completely oblivious to my new object of interest.

I leaned against the stone harder, waiting for a sound.

"Hello?" I cried out into the crack.

No answer.

"Hello?!"

Nothing. Zip.

"HEL-" I was cut off mid-sentence from a nearby stifled laugh, which caused my eyes to widen and make me stand stick straight, before paling. I whipped around, to see the people I detested more than anything in the world, proud smirks on their faces and hands placed defensively on their hips.

Yumi, the blonde beauty, although something I would not admit freely, spoke up rudely. "Aww, Hanako, so unpopular you have to talk to walls now?" she sneered, causing her group of Barbie dolls to laugh behind her. My sister stood beside Yumi, laughing along, eyes narrowed and lips turned up in a merciless and humorless smirk.

I steeled my nerves and gave Seiko a cold look before returning my gaze to Yumi, saying nothing.

She sniggered again. "What? Don't even have a comeback for this one?"

I stayed silent, my eyes narrowing to dangerous slits, as I felt my Sharingan activate subconsciously. Oh, I had _plenty _to say back, I was just too cordial to stain the ears of Konoha children with my putrid language, picked up by none other and Fugaku and his, in my opinion, consistently high friends.

Yumi walked closer to me, a fiery challenge lit in her eyes, as she came dangerously close into my personal zone. She leaned close to my face, staring at me with laughable hatred. "C'mon, Hanako, you can do better than that. Didn't you always say you wanted to prove yourself? Huh?" She laughed with sweet poison, as she pushed my shoulder, her obvious hatred revealing itself in full force. Her shove sent a brief electric shock through me as she channeled tiny amounts of chakra into her fingertips and shoved them into my chakra pathways, causing to me to choke momentarily before experiencing an unbelievable wave of vertigo.

Once again, I said nothing, merely blinked at her in my icy stare while she continued to try and provoke my temper. _Steady Hanako, steady. She's not worth it,_ I tried fruitlessly reminding myself.

Yumi kept pushing me, trying to get me to react, to fight back, my efforts to restrain myself slowly dying away. Every time I did fight back, I got outnumbered and injured, usually resulting in the girls getting a scolding and me, with even more alienation from them. She shoved my shoulder, hard.

"C'mon, Hanako, at least try and fight back.

Fairly soon, the other girls started crowding around me menacingly as well, pushing me around to one another as if they were playing catch with a ball. The smiles on their faces soon turned into scowls of hatred, as if they were disgusted such a person like me could exist. The pushes turned to angry, chakra tipped shoves like Yumi's, and the shoves turned to slaps. Pretty soon, the slaps were becoming hard punches that I dared not return for fear I would do something I would severely regret to them. Or something I was afraid I wouldn't even be able to return in the first place...

Calling for my teammates was not an option. I hid behind them for way too long; I wanted to stand my ground without their constant protection.

Suddenly, they slammed me headfirst into a wall, causing stars to burst up in my vision. I shook my head as I felt something hot trickle from my nose. Dammit, a bloody nose now of all times? I thought bitterly as heat rushed to my face, only causing the already heavy flow to strengthen.

One of the girls screamed at the sight of my blood, while another shook her head and muttered.

"Disgusting little bitch, got her filthy blood all over me..."

One of the girls pushed me down to the ground and watched me groan in pain as I brought my fingertips to my skull, hearing their cruel laughter fade in and out. Seiko was nowhere to be found. I felt sticky liquid trickling out of my head and ultimately, fear consumed me. My mother always said that sufficient stress to the skull could kill a person, and in my mind, I was no exception to this case. As the fear started to overcome me, one of the tears I so desperately tried to hide made its journey out from underneath my shut eyelid, as I succumbed to the despair and paranoia.

Yumi looked down at me, and I could feel her glare even with my eyes closed. "Aww, poor Hanako. Crying over some little blood, sweetie pie? Why don't you just run back to your little mommy and daddy like you always do?" she spat loudly at me.

"You're pathetic; you can't even stand up to short chakra waves."

"I swear; it's a miracle you passed the Academy at all…" Their voices echoed in and out, right and left, all around me. All consuming-shame.

I cowered on the ground. No, no, it wasn't true, I worked hard; I earned my right. I _deserved _to serve in Konoha's name…

A pretty, brunette girl spoke up, placing one manicured hand on her hip as she guffawed at the sight of me, turning and gesturing to my sister. "Honestly, Seiko, I don't know how you can stand this. I can't believe you were ever friends with her."

I heard Seiko speak up, her sweet voice clear as a bell, as she scoffed with overwhelmingly fake femininity. "Puh-lease. That was when we were kids and only because my mom said I had to."

I snorted inwardly at her. _Right, right, believe whatever you want, sweetheart. _

"'Sides, she's only my sister. I don't hold any obligation to her just because we're family."

The same brunette girl cocked an eyebrow at her. "Oh, is that so?" she said sarcastically.

Seiko playfully shoved her. "Look, I hate her. She's a loser. I don't have to stand around and pretend she means anything to me. She's hardly an Uchiha anyways; I mean, who's ever heard of an Uchiha failing?" she giggled. "It's unheard of, crazy shameful to say the least."

Oh, that struck a nerve.

But my dad wouldn't sugarcoat the situation; he never did. When he said it was important for me to go at my own pace, he would surely mean it, right? He wouldn't lie to me…

But then again, my dad _was _a pretty good liar, and even he knew about Seiko bullying me. It was highly possible he only said those things to console my fears. If that had been the actual case…

What if they were right? What if I really shouldn't have passed the Academy?

Their words stung, but I felt a small sense of truth in it. A part of me always knew this would happen; that I would have to confront my personal demons. I just kept trying to run from it, only as it gained power. It was like running down a mountain from a snowball; it starts out small but the farther it chases you, the bigger the problem gets, and only the more painful it becomes.

And I stalled for 13 years. I hardly expected it to be…this painful…

"Hey!" a voice rang out angrily, easily cutting off the snickering of Yumi and her gang.

"What do you think you're doing?" I heard Hito yell. My eyelids briefly fluttered open, as I saw Seiko emerge from the back of her crowd of friends, the group parting easily for her.

"We're not doing anything; she just provoked us in the first place…" Seiko said innocently, hands clasped sweetly in front of her as she batted her eyelashes at him. "Trying to swear at us and hit us and all, really Hito, you shouldn't waste time on her…you really ought to hang out around people higher up on the social food chain, if you know what I mean." She winked at him suggestively.

Hito cocked an eyebrow at her, before shrugging non-chalantly. "No, actually Seiko, I _don't _get what you mean. Maybe you can say it in a language other than 'whore' for once." Hito suggested lazily, gesturing up to the sky at nothing in particular while he did so.

Seiko just giggled girlishly again. "Playing hard to get, are we now?" Seiko inched closer to him, while he moved away from her at an equally fast pace.

Suddenly, Rinji slid in front of Seiko out of nowhere, inches from her face, eyes fiery as he stared daggers at her.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Sight." He seethed out furiously, white clenched fists completely denying his cool and tranquil exterior.

Seiko snorted. "Yeah? Take a hike, jackass." The girls behind laughed in sync with one another, as if they were all required to support every word from Seiko or Yumi's mouth.

Hito came over abruptly and shoved Seiko to the ground, causing her to look up at him with appalled eyes and an agape mouth. "Bitch." He muttered to her, before looking up at the rest of the girls with a bored expression. "You're all bitches; I don't know why you like torturing people so much. Especially you," he pointed at Seiko. "She's your sister. What kind of person are you?" he questioned with blatant truth, as she stared at him in continued shock. Hito turned to me and leaned down, first checking my head gash before turning around to face them again.

"Get out of here, you all sicken me." He spat. Seiko jumped to her feet and bit her bottom lip as she quivered, fists tightly clenched, before disappearing off down the road, her loud sobs echoing off the walls of Konoha streets as Yumi and her friends followed behind, shrieking consoling words after her.

Rinji shook his head after the girls' retreating figures, before leaning down on one knee and tilting his head at me in concern.

"How're you holding up?"

I blinked the fuzzy edges out of my vision, before placing a firm hand over the throbbing flesh on my skull.

"I just got beaten to a pulp by Seiko and her friends, but other than that I'm just peachy." I droned at Rinji with sarcastic eyes.

Hito carelessly picked at his fingernails. "Least you didn't die."

Rinji scoffed. "Right, because we all should be expecting to get beaten up at any given moment when we're walking around Konoha streets."

Hito nailed him lightly on the shoulder. "Shut up." He turned to face me, crouching close towards my face and examining the dark streak of crimson emanating from my crown.

"I-is….Am I going to die?" I whimpered pathetically. "My mom always says head injuries can-"

Hito held up a hand to me, still intently staring at the trickle of blood.

"Highly doubt it. Doesn't look like it's penetrated too deep. I'll have to patch that up before we take you anywhere, though; it's possible you could pass out."

He placed to gentle fingers on my forehead and green chakra started flowing out of his hands. I immediately felt calmer, and a cool, fresh sensation washed over me. I could feel the injury on my head slowly, but steadily closing up. He tore off a section of his sleeve, wiping away the blood already on my forehead.

"Hold it there." He ordered, placing the wad of cloth into my hand. He tapped a few pressure points against my temple, brow furrowed in deep thought and concentration.

I placed the fabric against my temple, laughing slightly at him. "Since when are you a med-nin? Aren't med-nin always girls or something?" I giggled.

He flushed red indignantly, before raising his chin high in pride. "I picked up a few things from Aunt Hana. Now shut up before I make a mistake."

I smiled at him before quieting down and sitting patiently, while he continued to try and heal everything up. After about 10 minutes, he wiped his brow free of sweat.

"That's about as good as I can do." He mumbled.

I stood up; about to thank him, before a searing, splitting sensation ran across my head again. I collapsed down again, hands clutching at my forehead, before I sent Hito an accusing glare upwards.

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "So maybe I need some more work on the healing stuff…"

Rinji looked at him sarcastically. "Ya think?"

I shook my head at them, unconsciously momentarily forgetting about my head injury, causing me to topple over from the unsteadiness.

"Gah!" I cried out loudly, falling down, moaning in pain as I experienced another bout of vertigo. I landed flat in the dust, shooting my friends indignant looks while they stifled sniggers.

Akamaru barked at me appreciatively while I just rubbed my temple. I averted my gaze downward, when a pair of polished, black sandals came into view.

My eyes glanced upward, as I caught sight of the newcomer.

A boy, about the same age as my team stood proudly in front of my group, no doubt the son of Neji and Tenten Hyuuga. A long ponytail swished behind him while several long strands of hair framed his chiseled face. His eyes remained cold, uncaring and distant, while his hands were clasped formally behind his back. He was garbed in a simple, white tunic and black shorts, nearly the spitting image of his father, free of a single trace of Tenten's gene pool. One would hardly be able to tell he was her son until one had seen the same fiery temper passed from mother to son.

Takashi Hyuuga. Ugh, the nerve of this guy...I could hardly stand to be around him and his arrogance without feeling nauseous.

* * *

When the girls in my class weren't swooning over Hito, they were positively kissing his holier-than-thou feet. He looked down on every single one of them, finding his only comforts and sufficiently piqued interests in training like his father, in an attempt to restore some dignity to Neji's branch.

Even though I might've known him, I doubt he knew me. _He hardly pays attentions to failures, anyway. _I thought bitterly.

The boy reached into his tunic, protruding a small, neatly tied scroll as he held it out to Rinji.

"Rinji-san, Hokage-sama has informed me to deliver this to you."

Rinji flashed him a polite smile. "Thanks, Takashi. I owe you one." His hands fumbled with the ribbon tying the scroll together, before his blue orbs started scanning the tiny words scrawled onto the parchment intently.

Takashi bowed to him, before turning to Hito and acknowledging him briefly with a curt nod. "Hitonomi."

Hito snorted loudly in response, while Akamaru growled menacingly from behind Hito's protective leg.

Takashi shot Akamaru a disgusted look, before turning his gaze to me. His blank pearly depths stared at mine with an intensity so indiscernible I shifted uncomfortably underneath the stare, while my recently dormant Sharigan acted up again.

Takashi blinked at my re-activated Sharingan briefly, before turning and leaving without another word.

Indignant emotions boiled inside of me; the least he could've done was acknowledge my presence, and at least attempt to treat me with some minimal form of respect. I inwardly scoffed at his disgustingly large ego, before I heard Rinji gasp behind me.

I inclined my head in his direction while I leaned back on my palms, resting in the Konoha dirt. Hito scratched Akamaru's fur and cocked an eyebrow at Rinji.

Shock was plastered all over Rinji's face as his hands trembled as he lowered the parchment from its position in front of his face. The shock soon turned to excitement as he declared in a happy whisper,

"We've got a mission."

* * *

**A/N: Love, hate? I'm rather proud, it's very long and I worked hard. Hope you guys like, REVIEWS PLEASE!! :D Next chap up soon!**


	4. Control

**A/N: Sorry about the wait. I've been going through somewhat of a hard time at school. And then we had a long weekend where I was like "YES, I AM GOING TO THANK MY WONDERFUL REVIEWERS BY WRITING ANOTHER CHAPTER!". Obviously, that didn't happen. =_= But hey, I'm here now.**

**I often get accused of lack of emotion, so...here's my failure attempt at emotion and plot. Hope you guys enjoy! **

**Ps: Yes, I know it's a shorter chapter. (shields self with frying pan)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I also don't own a tablet, a cell phone with a charm hole, and/or money. But I digress.**

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* * *

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"Yup."

The three of us blinked at Kakashi as he brought the all too familiar porn up to his face again.

"You've gotta be kidding. A mission is one thing; a direct request for fresh genin is another." Hito exhaled loudly, leaning back in his chair in awe. "Unbelievable."

Kakashi glanced at us lazily while the air conditioning rumpled his white hair. "This is no joke. This woman," he held up a picture of a plump, cheery woman. "from now on known as _your client, _is one of the most respected nobles of this village. Be honored she chose you for her mission."

Rinji pouted. "But it's just a D-rank!" he whined loudly.

Kakashi looked stern. "While that may be true, you still need to get on the good side of the village. The nobles will remain skeptical of you until you can prove otherwise. Do well on this mission, and better missions and higher pay will follow."

"But that doesn't explain the direct request." I reasoned, leaning forward and propping my elbows on the wooden table surface. "No one in the village really _knows _us yet, or at least has no idea of the level of our skills. You don't think it's just a bit suspicious she would pick us, out of all the other experienced shinobi available?"

Kakashi shrugged sheepishly. "I'll admit, that caught me off a bit too. Nonetheless, it's a mission, who the client asks to do the job is of no matter, so long as it gets done."

Rinji yawned loudly. "So what exactly is this mission? Groceries, weeding her garden…?"

Kakashi tossed him an unfurled scroll. "Oh no, much better." He replied happily.

Rinji adjusted the scroll in his hands, before his eyes widened in horror at the text on the scroll. Hito cocked an eyebrow, before shoving Rinji's head out of the way. He soon followed suit, as a brief expression of disgust crossed his face, before turning up to Kakashi with a dry expression.

"Really, sensei? Out of all the missions we could've gotten, this?"

I looked around at both of them. "Why, what is it?"

Rinji was about to answer, before Kakashi cut him off, once more shrouding his face behind the orange book.

"Babysitting."

* * *

Rinji held the wailing child as far away as possible, turning away from it. A trickle of drool oozed from the corner of its mouth.

"Agh, someone, please, make it stop!" Rinji pleaded as he shoved the infant into Hito's arms. Rinji looked at his slobbery sleeves and wet jacket morosely, before slouching into a chair and covering his ears.

Hito expertly re-adjusted the child in his arms, before quickly wiping its face clean and stuffing a pacifier into its mouth. The girl immediately quieted, and opened her eyes wide as a few more stray tears slid out. He held her out to me expectantly.

"Your turn." He ordered.

I grimaced, and reluctantly held out my arms. The baby plopped softly into my arms as I awkwardly drew her close to me. The baby started to whine softly, as I looked up at Hito desperately.

_What now? _I mouthed.

Hito shrugged, before winking at me and departing the house.

I sighed. That was just like him, ditch right in the middle of a mission. Then again, he was the only one who had been able to control the child, so technically all credit was rightly due…

I scoffed inwardly. Right.

I shifted to a more comfortable sitting position. Using my foot, I pushed away some newspapers and coffee mugs on the glass table in front of me, before propping my feet up on it. I placed the baby in my lap, sitting upright and facing me.

Our eyes connected, briefly. She flashed me a toothless smile while she reached out for me. Her tiny palms rested on my cheek as she giggled at my surprised expression.

Rinji glanced at me from his slouched sitting position, arms crossed, before smiling. "I think she likes you."

The baby had rammed her hand against my mouth, causing my replying words to be incoherent mumbles. Rinji chuckled. I pushed her hand away, smiling softly. "I think so too." I whispered, while holding her up towards the ceiling, allowing her dark pigtails to fall forward. She laughed again as Rinji came from behind her and snatched her from my hands, before lightly whirling her around in a circle.

I laughed loudly. "She likes you too."

Rinji made several loud airplane noises as he flew her around, and the little girl responded by shrieking happily. I sunk onto a chair and propped my chin up on my elbow, contented by the sight of this girl.

Rinji set her down in a high chair and placed the pacifier in her mouth again, before sitting down across from me. "I'm pretty sure she's not our client's kid," I said. "Our client seems a little…well, old, to be having little kids running around the house."

Rinji picked at his teeth. "Oh, she's not." He said coolly, while I picked up a glass of water, sipping quietly. "I'm pretty sure our client was supposed to babysit her, but was too lazy and just hired us instead."

"So who are the parents?" I inquired, taking another sip.

"Neji Hyuuga's her dad." He said calmly.

I choked on my water, spraying backwash all over the table and gagging loudly while Rinji smirked and muttered, "Attractive."

I wiped my mouth clean with my sleeve. "N-Neji Hyuuga? _The _Neji Hyuuga?"

Rinji shrugged at me. "I don't know any other Neji Hyuuga's in Konoha. What's it to you?" he asked.

My expression darkened visibly. "Wouldn't that mean that bastard Takashi is her brother?"

Rinji chortled. "He's not that bad. He's pretty cool once you get to know him."

"Which I don't plan on doing any time soon." I retorted bitterly. "How did you get to know him, anyway? Isn't he always too busy filing his nails and combing his hair to be out in the world, socializing?" I said dryly.

Rinji leaned forward on his knees. "I dunno. Guess we became friends in the Academy. I mean, he's not that fond of Seiko either so-"

"He's not really fond of anybody." I corrected him.

"Yeah, yeah." He waved dismissively. "I find it ironic they ended up on the same team."

I blinked twice. "They're on the same team?"

Rinji cocked his head at me. "You never knew? That's kind of unexpected. I mean, it was big news when they became team members, two prodigies and all…the whole village was pretty excited for it and all…" he carried on. "The entire village was thrilled that the two best students had been paired up together. Man, you should've seen the party at the Hokage's office that day..."

He paused abruptly, eyes slightly wide, before staring at my crestfallen face. "Oh…I-I'm sorry, Hana, I didn't mean-" he tried to apologize.

Seiko again. Seiko. Seiko. Seiko. It was _always _about Seiko and how damn perfect she was.

I stood coldly and sauntered over to the now quiet child. She seemed to have noticed the tension in the room and merely looked around the room innocently, mouth occupied with her pacifier. I gingerly lifted her out of the high chair and held her in my arms, rocking her and walking around with no particular purpose, simply yearning for a reason to leave the room. Rinji placed his hand on my shoulder, but I tugged away without looking at him.

I heard Rinji sigh tiredly behind me as I walked outside.

* * *

A few birds were chirping around the sakura trees of our client's large estate. I stumbled into a maid, who apologized fervently, head nearly touching her knees from her constant bowing, before she sprinted off into another compound. Other than that I saw no one.

The cracked stones of the courtyard creaked under my feet. The stone wall surrounding the estate's perimeter was covered in moss and home to many an insect.

I seated myself on a stone bench in the courtyard. The baby, whose name I now knew, Tomoe, was fast asleep. I felt comforted by the rhythmic beating of her heart against my chest; the way her chubby fingers curled around my hair and tossed and tugged it around; the way she looked at me without judgement.

Unlike her fellow citizens.

I decided on that day that I really liked Tomoe Hyuuga.

I'm not entirely sure how long I sat on that stone bench, watching the sakura blossoms fall from their trees. I fell into somewhat of a daze as the hot afternoon sun settled into a faint horizon.

* * *

I heard panting and padded footsteps. From behind one of the courtyard gates, Hito emerged, hands placed behind his head. He nodded at me, acknowledging my presence, before settling onto the bench, beside me.

I handed Tomoe to him. "I got her to sleep. You hold her now." I said robotically without looking at him, the memory of Rinji's words still in my mind.

He cradled Tomoe in his arms, but as I stood up to leave, he said, "Whoa now, hold up."

I inclined my head over my shoulder.

"Something's up, I can tell. You wear your heart on your sleeve, you know."

I scoffed. "Nothing's up. Just do your job, Hito."

Hito snorted jokingly. "I always do my job, no need for a reminder."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure your little detour today really helped out with the mission." My voice was far icier than I intended. I meant to take it back, but by the time I tried to apologize, Akamaru whimpered, before growling at me, a menacing sound from deep in his throat.

I could feel Hito's eyes narrow against my turned back. "Watch the attitude, I'm just trying to help."

"Yeah, well you're doing a pretty shit job of it." I snapped back loudly, and once again, completely not on purpose.

"You can't expect anyone to help you if all you're gonna do is turn them away." He spat. "You don't need help, you don't need help. Fine, that's you. If you wanna be bitchy, then go hang around Seiko; it's the exact reason I _don't _hang with her."

A lingering silence passed over the both of us. I lost my energy at that point. I hadn't meant to make him angry; far from it. I heard a couple crickets chirp while a sudden gust of wind made me shiver involuntarily.

I exhaled loudly. "It's…Seiko."

Hito said nothing. I heard Tomoe moan softly in her sleep. He continued to rock her back and forth comfortingly in his arms.

"Just…I hate hearing how _great _she is at life, over and over. It's nothing, really. Just something Rinji said. It's not a big deal."

"…Hn." He grunted.

I turned around, clasping my hands together. "…Sorry." I mumbled.

Hito's eyes connected with mine, before he turned away from me. "Whatever."

He didn't speak for a long time, so long I started to leave. Before I did, though, I heard him mutter.

"You don't have to put up with it, you know. You can just…not hear it. If you don't want to hear it, well then…don't listen."

I sighed, running my hand through my hair. "It's not that simple. Seiko is just everywhere. Everybody talks about her in the streets, at home, at school. She's everything I can't be."

Hito glanced at me. "That's not true and you know it."

"But it _is _true." I insisted. "I've gone my whole life in her shadow. She's better at everything. Everything!" I said disbelievingly, shaking my head as my voice cracked. "It's almost as if kami is playing a joke on me! Yeah, it's _plenty _funny, wouldn't you agree, Hito?"

He didn't respond. "Hana, calm down, you know what happens to your Sharingan when-"

"Bullshit!" I cried loudly. "It's NOT a problem, but everyone insists it is! How come I'm the only one with problems? Where are HER problems, neh?" I practically screamed at him.

"Hanako." Hito cut in sharply. "Your Sharingan is going to-"

"No, Hito, you shut up! Nobody gives half a damn about how I feel!" I seethed.

"Now, Hana, that's not true." He reasoned calmly. Tomoe started to move around in her sleep, brief discomfort crossing her face. He looked down worriedly at her, as he glanced at the time on his watch. The client would arrive back soon. "Please, I'm begging you to calm down; you never know when your Sharingan will act up again."

I ignored him. "Oh, that time when she read my journal to our entire grade was funny, hmm, remember that, Hito? Yeah, especially when no one talked to me for weeks after because of what I said about them, because I should ALWAYS be careful when talking about people in my journal. Or maybe that time she managed the get the entire school to convince me there was school on a 3 day weekend? I showed up at school in the pouring rain and stood there for the whole day until my mom found me on her way home from the hospital!"

Hito sniggered, before quickly covering his mouth with his hand, regret in his eyes. I froze, and turned to whisper at him.

I inhaled slowly.

"You were in on that?" I stared at him with wide eyes. "And you didn't tell me?" I breathed softly.

"Um…oh my…Okay, I'm _really sorry, _Hanako, but please don't do anything…rash. It was a long time ago. I'm sorry."

"Rash? I wouldn't do anything rash, oh no." I said calmly, closing my eyes.

Hito looked at me and mouthed, _Don't. _

My eyes flew open. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? I ALMOST GOT PNEUMONIA IN THAT RAIN!"

Hito shied away pitifully, covering his face with his hand. "I had assumed you would go home when you saw the doors were locked." Tomoe started to toss around in his arms, and he looked down at her fervently. "Hanako, just-"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO HOME? I WAS 7 AND I BARELY KNEW RIGHT FROM LEFT! YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA WALK HOME 2 MILES WHEN I THOUGHT THERE WAS SCHOOL? 7 YEAR OLDS ARE TOO STUPID TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES! OH SORRY, EXCEPT SEIKO, BECAUSE SHE'S THE EXCEPTION TO EVERYTHING, AM I RIGHT?" I screamed at him.

I felt something itch in my eye. It felt like my Sharingan, but I ignored it.

Hito looked at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Hanako. I really am. But that was a long time ago, and you know I didn't mean it."

"That's beside the point. You did it anyway. Do you have any idea how much everyone laughed at me after that?" I breathed slowly through my teeth. "Don't you have any idea how humiliated I was?"

The itch came back. It grew into a pulsating rhythm, and Hito regarded me with wide, frightened eyes.

And my Sharingan activated.

* * *

Tomoe, with her ever sensitive Byakugan, woke up immediately. She looked around to see what had disturbed her sleep; what fiery sensation she had felt earlier, when her eyes locked with mine.

My limited control over my Sharingan prevented me from stopping the swirling red to overtake my green eyes. A single tomoe floated around in the crimson pools. Tomoe looked at me fearfully, and started to shriek as the torturing and paralyzing sensation of the Sharingan took over her.

Hito gasped. "Hana, stop it!" He tried to turn her away from me, tried to block her from me, but her eyes stayed reluctantly glued to mine, as she continued to scream as the Sharingan showed her things someone that young shouldn't have seen.

My breath hitched in my chest.

"I…I can't…" I breathed. I looked down at my hands, shaking before me. "I-"

Her pitiful wails echoed off the stone walls. I was sure all of Konoha could hear. She thrashed about and it seemed the only thing she wanted to do was get away from me. I may have liked Tomoe Hyuuga, but Tomoe Hyuuga most certainly did not like me.

If Takashi disliked me earlier, he would, without hesitation or tremor, _loathe _me, now.

I heard another scream from a gate behind me. It was deeper and more feminine, I realized.

The client.

* * *

I turned my head slowly in her direction, but someone's large hand came crashing into my cheek, and they abruptly slapped me, hard. I woke up out of my Sharingan, gasping and collapsed onto my knees, clutching my throbbing cheek. I looked up to see a large guard, arm raised as he tried to defend his mistress from my eyes. Tears came to my eyes as I fought off the pure shame and stinging sensation against my face.

I saw the plump woman, our client, snatch Tomoe from Hito's arms and glare at me, holding her protectively.

"You _monster!_" she spat at me. "After all the good things I heard about you, I expected better, Seiko."

Rinji had emerged from the complex earlier, and helped me to my feet now. All three of us froze. I was unable to say anything, until Rinji cut in.

"Um…that's not Seiko. It's her sister, Hanako."

* * *

Rinji said slowly. "You asked specifically for Hanako, didn't you?"

Our client looked at Hito, then at Rinji, then at me, her surprise evident, before narrowing her eyes into menacing slits. "I've heard of you. You're the one they all talk about. That girl with the dangerous eyes and the one nobody wants to be around." If it was even possible, her gaze became even harsher. "Not to be trusted, you are. I asked specifically for Seiko and they send me someone like you, a bumbling fool who can't control her own weapons."

She turned away from us, before sighing desolately to herself.

"What will they parents say? Oh goodness, the drama that will ensue…"

Once more, she whipped around and her voice was icy.

"You will not get paid." I heard Hito whine softly in the background, but I was too shocked to move. "You can most certainly expect a call from the Hokage's office regarding this. And _you,_" she pointed a manicured finger at me. "Stay away from the public. In case you hadn't noticed, no one likes you, for all the trouble you cause." Her tone was purely disgusted.

She stepped out of the courtyard, leaving Hito, Rinji and I all to our own thoughts.

I was truly at a complete loss for words.

* * *

I had felt Rinji's arms wrap comfortingly around me at one point, but I couldn't even think to cry. Not even a tear. I…I couldn't believe it.

The client had not requested me. She had requested Seiko. A mix-up had been the cause of my first mission.

For all I knew, if she didn't hate me to begin with, she hated me now.

The most powerful family in Konoha was going to be breathing down my neck soon.

My mother…what would she say? My father, Fugaku…what would they all say?

I felt it really didn't matter anymore. I had messed up, again, ruined another opportunity and ultimately did nothing but gain more enemies.

* * *

I sat in the waiting room outside of the Hokage's office, Rinji and Hito sitting as far away as possible from me and not making eye contact. I could hear our client and the voice of what I presumed to be Neji Hyuuga arguing with the Hokage.

"I apologize for the mix-up, Neji, but-"

"Hyuuga-san to you, from now on, Naruto!"

"Okay, fine, Hyuuga-san, I deeply apologize for the mix-up, it was a completely unforgivable mistake on my part, and you have my deepest sympathies."

"My daughter may be scarred for her life now because of this! I demand compensation!" I heard someone's fist pound against a desk and something else shatter in the room.

Our client's voice filtered through the glass. "This is absolutely unacceptable! Seiko wouldn't have done this! I asked for a competent team and this is what you give me?"

Naruto didn't answer. I could've sworn I heard my heart break a little at his silence.

"That girl is uncontrollable! She's a clear threat to society and you should put her behind bars, for all the town cares!" I heard the woman yell.

"…I'm afraid I can't do that."

"WHAT?"

"She is a child. And children must learn. Now, Hyuuga-san, I once again apologize about your daughter. In the meantime, let me speak to the team and we will discuss what happens from there."

For a few minutes, there was silence, until the door suddenly burst open and a tall, muscular man with long hair tied back into a neat ponytail exited the room, positively fuming. He moved so fast he didn't even notice me. Our client followed suit and shot me a glare as she left.

Only until their footsteps were completely inaudible, did I hear the Hokage mutter tiredly. "Rinji, you and your teammates in here. Now."

* * *

Rinji creakily stood, as did Hito. He briefly looked at me and I trotted behind my friends as we came into a large room.

It was brightly lit. The faint smell of ramen lingered in the room. Bright light poured through the room from the wall of windows behind a handsome desk. Cluttered messily on the desk's surface were mountains of documents and stray papers.

And behind all of that, sat our Hokage, face in his hands. He looked up to meet our intimidated gazes.

He was blonde, like Rinji. His blue eyes were nearly identical to his son's. The only discernible differences were the wisdom in Naruto's eyes and faded whisker lines on his cheeks.

He smiled at his son. "I guess this is what I get for trying to get you guys a mission, huh?"

Rinji looked somewhat surprised, but not entirely caught off guard. "We all thought it was kind of suspicious."

Naruto chuckled before standing and turning away from us, facing the bright windows. He clasped his hands behind his back as the light breeze from outside ruffled his long cape, embroidered with flames.

"I thought it would be a good opportunity for you guys. So I switched around the names. I got you guys an easy mission. One that I thought…"

He didn't say it out loud, but it was still heard by everyone. _One that I thought you wouldn't screw up. _

"I thought she just wanted an Uchiha, not necessarily Seiko herself." He continued. "Now I've got this mess to sort through. _We've_ got this mess to sort through." He corrected.

Hito cut in. "So what should we do? We're all already in trouble."

Rinji whispered to him bitterly. "Thanks for pointing it out, Einstein."

Naruto ignored them. "I'm not entirely aware of what happened, but I assume that it had to do with your Sharingan, Hanako, am I correct?" he asked, without turning around.

I had been staring down at my hands. I looked up quickly, before averting my gaze down again.

"H-Hai, Hokage-sama."

"And am I correct in assuming that you did _not _intend for this…incident to happen?" he said carefully.

"Hai." I whispered.

"Well then," he said, already a tad more cheerful. "As long as you didn't mean it, then we're all good." He turned around and smiled at me. "Don't worry about it, these things happen. The mix-up is nothing, and frankly, I think even Tomoe is OK by now. I visited her earlier. It doesn't seem she has any recollection of the event."

I stared down. "Arigato, Hokage-sama." But in my mind, I didn't really mean it. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach and positively winded me. I couldn't believe the magnitude of problems I had caused for myself, and all the things I realized along the way.

The client hated me. And according to her, so did the rest of the town.

She didn't want me. She wanted Seiko. As per usual.

The most powerful family of Konoha was angry. Very angry.

My family was going to be angry. More angry.

And my team was livid with me for ruining our first mission and causing us to lose pay.

Nothing hurt quite as much as the realization that no one wanted me, and that my mission had been a fake all along. That what should've been a fond memory was now a haunting nightmare for me to never want to relive.

Naruto looked at me, concerned, before continuing. "Hanako, I suggest you meet up with Tomoe's parents at the Hyuuga complex. They may be angry, but perhaps you can salvage some forgiveness if you explain to them what happened yourself."

I didn't believe him.

* * *

As I walked through the darkened streets that night, I thought about today.

Obviously, Naruto had notified my father. He insisted that it wasn't my fault, but rather Naruto's attempt to do his son and my team a favour, that unexpectedly turned into disaster.

My father had said nothing.

But I'm sure Seiko had something to say. Something that I was grateful I wasn't around at dinner to hear.

How…How come…no one liked me?

It didn't make any sense to me. Were my looks truly that revolting? Or was it that I didn't live up to my name? Was it that I disgraced the shinobi occupation, what? What was it?

I laughed bitterly at the sheer irony of it all. I become a kunoichi to gain respect for myself, and so far, it seemed I was only destroying what little reputation I already had.

The rest, I didn't even want to think about. How I was unwanted. How my mission was a fake. Tomoe Hyuuga's screams ringing in my ears. The feeling of someone hitting me because I was a monster. And the truth that I was not loved, not even in my own home.

All too soon, I arrived at the large and looming doorway of the Hyuuga household. Delicious smells wafted through the crack under the door. Casual chatter echoed from the open windows.

I gulped, and tried to hold back the tears that seemed to want to spill forward now. I just wanted to go home now.

The floorboards creaked beneath me as I knocked thrice, very quietly, against the large door.

Almost immediately, the door was answered.

A tall boy, with long hair piled into a tall ponytail, came to greet the door. A polite smile had been plastered on his face, but when he saw me, he didn't even bother to be polite.

"Oh…it's you." Takashi said coldly. "What do you want?"

I stood there, fists clenched in nervousness. "Um…I was wondering…may I speak with Tomoe's parents?"

Takashi's grip on the door hardened; his knuckles turned white. "One moment." He said crisply, before disappearing. I heard Takashi speaking in the background while I shifted awkwardly in the cold wind.

He reappeared soon after.

"I'm afraid my father has no intention to speak to you. My mother is out of town. My aunt is willing to listen, however. Anything you wish to say to my father can be messaged from her."

Takashi was pulled away from the door by a gentle, feminine hand. A soft voice scolded him for his rudeness towards me.

The door opened wider to reveal a pretty woman, late twenties, in a magnificent white kimono. Blue dragons laced the bottom hem while her elegant sleeves draped from her arms. Her eyes were a soft white, while her hair was divided into two long ponytails behind her. It reminded me of Tomoe's pigtails, and their disarray as she thrashed about from seeing me.

I must've grimaced from the memory, because the woman looked at me in concern. "Are you all right, dear?"

I nodded stiffly. "I would like to formally apologize, Hyuuga-san, for my unforgivable deed today. Please accept my deepest apologies and regrets. If you require compensation, please don't hesitate to ask….anything." I bowed my deepest bow and my hair fell in front of my face.

The woman said nothing for a moment, until I heard a smile in her voice.

"Well, that's all very well dear, and I accept your apologies, however we require no compensation. I'm glad to say little Tomoe has forgotten all about the ordeal and is back to her normal giddiness."

I looked up to see her beaming down at me, as she opened the door wider for me. "See?"

I peered into the large house. I saw Tomoe, sitting in her high chair across the foyer, bouncing up and down excitedly as she played with a small toy in her hand.

"Oh, excuse me, come in, please!" she welcomed. "Forgive my rudeness."

I put my hand up to decline. "Thank you, but I'm afraid I can't."

She rolled her eyes at me. "You look starving, come in, no one will mind. I'm Hinata, by the way, no need for that snobby formality. Just Hinata." She grinned.

I nodded at her. "Thank you, Hyu-, I mean, Hinata, but I really should get going. I'm glad to hear that Tomoe is doing well."

Hinata looked disappointed. "Well, that's a shame. Maybe you can come back next time! I'd love to have you over sometime, I mean, Takashi hardly ever brings friends over and I get lonely here sometimes with just the elders."

She smiled at me so altruistically that I almost felt a little sad. Here was someone, actually being nice to me. Actually wanting me around them.

"I…I-um.."I stammered. "I, I'd like that, Hinata." Unfortunately, my voice cracked on her name, and before I could stop it, I felt something wet slip down my cheek.

Hinata regarded me in deep concern. "Oh my…are you OK?"

"I, I'm fine." I assured her, as I wiped my face over and over and struggled to keep my voice as even as possible. "Just nerves, tired is all. I mean, it's nothing really, sometimes these things just happen." I started to cry harder as I kept blathering on about nothing to fill up the silence. My head was ducked down so I didn't have to see Hinata's face.

"No, really, I'm fine." I cried. "Please, I'm just fine, I'm fine." My even tone broke and I started truly weeping into my hands as I kept muttering over and over.

"I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm fine." I reassured her. Hinata said nothing, merely drew me into a gentle hug. "I really am fine."

"I know fine when I see it, and you most certainly are not fine." She said softly. "Come with me, we'll take a walk."

* * *

We sat on a park bench in a quiet park, as I explained to her everything that happened today. My Sharingan, Seiko, everything. I even mentioned things not relating to Tomoe's incident; I mentioned how hated I felt, how jealous I was of Seiko, and essentially, I told Hinata everything. For a long time, I felt like there was no one to trust and who would completely listen the way Hinata did. Even Rinji and Hito, my best friends, sometimes didn't understand.

She listened without question and didn't interrupt me once, offering me a tissue every time the tears started up again.

By the time I finished, she sighed and leaned back. "That's quite a story. I can see why you would feel upset."

I dabbed at my swollen eyes again. "I don't hate her. I just wish…people would like me, care about me, the way they do about her."

Hinata nodded. "I don't doubt the pain you must feel. I would just stay confident in yourself. You have Rinji and Hito, and it seems to me like they'd stand by you through anything. That alone is something to be very thankful for."

"Once, I was like you. Unconfident and feeling overtaken by my sibling. I didn't feel the magnitude of the pain you feel, but I can understand your frustration. But I believed in myself. And I went places that way. Yes, I took longer than everyone else, but does it really matter how long it takes, so long as you get there in the end?"

She smiled slightly. "I had two teammates, great friends, just like yours. They pushed me through every obstacle that came my way. They defended me, and became brothers to me."

I stared up at her while she continued. "Point made, don't be impatient with yourself. In many ways, I'm glad I took so long to reach everyone else's skill level. I learned patience and I valued things around me more."

I nodded. "Achievement through patience."

She smiled. "Exactly."

In the far off distance, I heard a bell toll, signalling 8:00. I stood up quickly.

"Oh, sorry Hinata, but I've got to get going. My family's waiting up and, you know-"

She waved me off. "No worries, get going. See you around, Hanako!" she called gently after me.

* * *

Long after she was gone, I remained on that bench, watching the place where she left, and smiling as I realized I had met someone just like me. Just like me.

"Hanako," I called to the darkness. "One of these days, you are going to go far. I believe it."

* * *

**A/N: It sucks, right? I KNEW IT. :'( YOU ALL HATE IT. x'( Well, actually, you might not hate it. I really hope you don't hate it. Because when people don't hate it, I get reviews, and reviews make me happy. ^^  
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**Um, yeah, you know where the review button is. No flames, please. Next chapter hopefully up sooner!  
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	5. Mistake

**A/N: Wow, actually something of a fast update. Le gasp. Moving on, thanks to all my readers and reviewers, I really appreciate all of your input and the fact you're still putting up with this story. ^^ So anyway, yes, this is a shorter chapter, but in my opinion, probably one of the most-**

**I'll stop there. Spoilers suck as it is, so...enjoy!**

**QUICK REVIEW: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE MANGEKYOU IS, READ THIS.**

**The Mangekyou Sharingan is a far more dangerous version of the regular Sharingan. It causes extreme strain on the eyes and can be implanted on someone who sees it, like Sasuke, who had it implanted in him when Itachi used it on him after he massacred the Uchihas. The Tsukuyomi, is a torturing device, where essentially the person using it can control everything about the torture 'chamber'. Looking at a Mangekyou would directly implant it into any other Sharingan user. Tsukuyomi can show you a number of things, like the pain Hanako described, and your own death. It's probably one of the more gruesome jutsus used in the anime. However, if you're blood related to the person using the Mangekyou, you do have a certain level of protection (or so I think)  
**

**Disclaimer: (rolls eyes) Silly readers, if your authoress owned Naruto, do you think she'd be here? Of course not, she'd be ALTERING THE ENTIRE STORYLINE X)**

**_Italics = Sasuke's POV_  
**

**

* * *

**

There is a certain kind of peace at night.

In my village, although I wasn't exactly loved, I never felt endangered. Seiko and her Barbie dolls were not as much of a threat, as more of a reminder of the fact I had lost a best friend.

And so, walking home that night, I hadn't expected anything strange to happen.

The streetlights were still lit. A select few fireflies whizzed around the closing store fronts. The lights of the Hokage tower darkened, and I imagined Rinji still waiting patiently at home for his father.

The sound of my footsteps echoed off the stone walls bordering the streets, the loose sand swirling around and getting caught in my sandals. I kicked a piece of crumpled newspaper down the road, aimlessly, until it tumbled into a gutter. I kept my head ducked down, still pondering over Hinata's advice. When I bothered to check where I was going, I was surprised.

As I looked up, I realized I had followed this piece of paper down to a much different road, one I was not familiar with, at least not with this darker light. It was alien to me, and the storefronts seemed haunted. The abandoned warehouses creaked and a gust of wind blew through that moment, sending the native trees of my home into a manic frenzy.

Even though I was 13, almost 14 at the time, I was scared. I think no matter how much a person denies it, everyone sort of believes in ghosts. Or, at least, when you were as tired, hungry and hysterical as I was, you were easily persuaded into thinking so.

A door slammed somewhere down an abyss of an alleyway. I jumped and drew my hands in close, suddenly feeling very cold and exposed. Without thought, my Sharingan activated as I heard something break and shatter in an old restaurant nearby.

Someone was watching me.

* * *

I whipped around, instinctively reaching for my kunai. With a heart-wrenching realization, I remembered I had left it with Hinata at our park bench meeting, when I took it off for comfort's sake.

It was a simple mistake, one that I thought was now going to cost me dearly.

My Sharingan was not letting me relax for one moment; I could feel the eyes prying the area around me, watching my every movement. I struggled to keep my breathing normal.

_Remember what Iruka said. _I reminded myself. _Calm in the face of danger. Calm. Calm._

A twig snapped, and I nearly shrieked, before covering my mouth with both hands and starting to hyperventilate. Fortunately, I had left my shuriken pouch on, so I slowly reached for it. Carefully and with measured timing, I pulled one out, ready to defend.

A footstep. A thud. And the eyes again.

I dropped the shuriken and felt the urge to scream.

"Dad…" I whispered, hoping fervently he could hear me. "Dad…please."

I clasped both hands together and squeezed, a technique Iruka had taught me to relieve stress.

Suddenly, the street lamp above me exploded. Glass shards flew everywhere, the red-hot sparks diving into the streets below. The broken pieces clattered on the ground loudly. I couldn't contain the scream this time.

Despite what Iruka said and my efforts to follow them, I was definitely far from calm.

I wildly reached for a few shuriken and prepared myself. I squinted my eyes shut and flung my arm out, sending the shuriken in a multitude of frenzied directions.

The loud clang of steel resounded by my ears as the dust rose around me. Despite my training, I covered my eyes and turned away from the threat.

* * *

When no further sound emerged, I opened my eyes a crack. By my feet lay three of my shuriken. Not far from them was a long, foreign looking kunai. Strange markings were engraved upon the hilt. The kunai was made from a darker metal than the ones made here.

Someone had tried to attack me. Someone I didn't know.

With widened eyes, I peered cautiously at the foliage from where I believe the kunai had emerged. As if right on cue, another one shot out soundlessly, glinting under the street lamps.

I ducked down and prepared to reach into my pouch again, when something sharp held my wrist back. My head snapped around and I tripped over my heels. Looking behind me fervently, I saw an invisible wire, tightly wrapped around my forearm as it dug into my skin. I tugged against it in a panic and picked up a shuriken nearby, trying to cut it open.

The wire was far more durable then I imagined. It dulled the edge of my flimsy shuriken within minutes. I hastily tossed it aside, breath picking up pace as I bent down to attempt to bite the wire.

I tugged with my teeth, but it only served to press painfully against my lips. I clenched it hard between my teeth and pulled away from it. My mouth started to ache as the wire pinched against the soft flesh inside.

I sighed through my teeth and started to sit up before something spindly like and cold was laid upon the back of my neck.

My blood turned to ice.

I didn't dare move, much less turn around.

"Don't move." An evenly cold voice commanded.

* * *

The hand on my neck tightened its grip as my vision became fuzzy from lack of air.

"What is your name?" he asked sharply.

I didn't respond, prompting him to squeeze my neck harder. I gagged, and mumbled.

"U-Uchiha Hanako."

He didn't respond for a moment, before releasing me. I fell down on all fours and scrambled to face him. I heard him sigh behind me.

"They didn't lie about you. You and your…" he gestured off into space as he looked at me with a discontented expression on his face. I'm fairly certain I got his condescending message loud and clear. His obvious disgust for me was no matter right now, especially if it would help me get away from him.

I fingered the area where his hand had been previously as I looked up to face him.

"W-Who are you?" I inquired fearfully, shying away from him.

He didn't answer, and smirked bitterly, while opening his arms to reveal himself. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

I scanned his cloak; long, sweeping robes of black, with a high collar covering his mouth and long sleeves. Puffy, red clouds were embroidered all across it. He was pale, maybe around 17, with sullen cheeks and a set of strange black markings all across the right side of his face. His hands were nearly gray; wrinkly, bony and long. Behind him, he had long, unruly white hair meeting just below his shoulders.

I met his deadened eyes. "Akatsuki?" I questioned, frightened.

A tiny incline of the head confirmed my suspicions.

I audibly released my breath.

I stood up, feeling stronger and evermore relieved. "That's impossible. That Akatsuki were taken out years ago by our Hokage." My voice gained volume. "You're either an imposter playing a joke or maybe a descendant, and even so, without backup. Either way, I have no reason to be afraid of you." I said defiantly, hoping my confidence would scare him off.

His expression remained as stoic as ever. "That is incorrect. The Akatsuki has not so much been destroyed as…temporarily delayed." He remarked carefully.

"And even now, the mission of the Akatsuki remains entirely different than what it was under that fool, Orochimaru." The man rolled his eyes as he said his name. "We have much loftier goals in mind, Uchiha."

I took a step back. "Then why are you here talking to me?" My eyes narrowed in either suspicion or fear, I couldn't discern the difference.

He placed his hands calmly in his pockets. "I'm here to offer you something." His eyes narrowed at me. "dA trade of sorts. You have something we want; we have something you want."

My breath hitched a bit. "And what might that be?" I whispered.

His elongated mouth curved into a malicious smile and his eyes started to glint.

* * *

"Power."

I stood rooted to the spot, blinking a few times.

"Power? What do you mean, power?" I sputtered. "I-I have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Oh, don't you, though, Hanako?" he asked, tilting his head to the side. "It's a simple question. Power or weakness?" he offered again.

I shook my head in disbelief. "W-What?" I couldn't disguise the fear in my voice.

He sighed tiredly and ran his hands through his long white hair. "Let's put it this way. The Akatsuki, as much as you may have heard, is not an evil group." I inwardly scoffed at him, but let him continue. "Unless you've been on the inside, people have no idea who we truly are."

I gulped. "So who…or maybe I should say, _what, _are you?"

"We are misfits." His eyes saddened and became sympathetic towards me. "Just like you."

Ouch.

* * *

"We, _I, _was weak at one point in time. We were all hated. So we left. We left the so-called homes where we so clearly weren't wanted. And then Leader found us. It was painful, but he made us powerful beyond reckoning."

"That doesn't explain anything, though." I pried further.

"Our mission," he turned away. "Is to collect those like us. Those who felt the same pain we did. So often valuable potential is wasted because of the pettiest things; discouragement, fear, disbelief, what have you." He sighed through his teeth. "And all of this, all of this…_abuse,_ comes from the homes of the misfits. I find it sickening a village could treat its own people so harshly." He laughed incredulously, unable to hide the bitterness in his tone. "We lose so much...so many valuable shinobi...because of the fact that some people just don't belong."

He turned back to me, hands clasped behind his back. "Our Leader is merciful. He takes us in, gives us power. He let us become something. And in payment, we stay by him as his students. He took over the Akatsuki, not to cause fear, but rather, to house those who ran away."

I took another step back. "So then why are people afraid of you?"

"Because they are jealous." He insisted urgently, hands gesturing wildly as if pleading for my understanding. "Don't you see? People fear those different from them. Those who are weaker they look down upon and abandon; those who are stronger they dub threats and outsiders."

"This is where you come in. Today, I come to you to offer a choice. Come with me, and I can guarantee you power. Never again will you feel alone or different. Leader will protect you, and someday you too will have the same power we all possess as his students. That I promise you." He insisted, extending his hand out to me.

I hugged my arms and stared up at him, before ducking my head down. "What about my family, my home…?" I mumbled into my free-falling hair.

He snorted. "Could you really call this a home? For your entire life you've been here, in the shadows of others, hated and alone."

I stood and started to walk backwards, away from him, unable to believe him. "No, my teachers promised me I would improve, they just say I need time-"

"Time is not the important thing here!" He burst out angrily, waving his hand dismissively. "You've spent your life here with people telling you that improvement would come. Well, where is it exactly? Don't you think that by now you should've experienced some form of success? Don't you think you might've become something by now?"

I refused to meet his gaze and said nothing, my hands tightening into fists from anxiety and something else I couldn't quite explain.

He sighed and I saw him rub his temples. "Believe me when I say, Leader will accept you. In just a few years time, he revealed the hidden potential of all of us, and the same could be said for you. Hanako, your education here is a hopeless cause because your teachers and family no longer care. They think you are hopeless." The truth in his words stung.

I turned away from him. "I-I won't believe you. You're wrong on all counts." I whispered, as I tried to block out the sound of his voice.

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hanako-"

"Don't touch me!" I screamed suddenly, turning around and hitting his hand away, unable to stop the outburst. His face was surprised, before it twisted into strained patience.

"I offer you this one last time. Do you want the power, or no?" he articulated very slowly, eyes narrowed and arm still politely offered to me.

I turned around to face him. "People aren't afraid of you because of power. They're afraid because of the fact you're capturing people and taking them away from their homes. I may not know anything about your new Akatsuki regime..._thing,_" I admitted. "But I know that capturing people, for whatever reasons, is wrong." I accused, hoping to distract him.

His mouth grew into a bared and sickly satisfied grin. "But yet you want it."

I forced my mouth shut, unable to say more.

I deliberately ignored his offer. I didn't to know what I would say.

Or rather, I was afraid to know what I wanted.

* * *

"Our Leader captured us. I'll admit, the pain of getting to where I am now was..._excruciating, _but-"

"So what did he do to you, then?" I inquired softly.

His face became carefully blank. "I admitted it was painful." he avoided. "But I never said it wasn't worthwhile."

"That's...sick."

He shrugged. "To some. But let me ask you this: you want it, don't you? The only thing holding you back is the small hope that people here will still accept you, right?" he asked, looking down at me with his arms crossed and eyes smug with satisfaction.

I flinched.

Regardless of what I wanted to believe, it was the truth. About me.

He was right. He knew what I wanted. He knew it better than I did. But regardless, I didn't trust him at all. Even though everything he said was absolutely true. 100% true.

I couldn't just abandon my family. What about the life I had already built here for myself? What about my friends? What about what Iruka had told me, and what Hinata had told me?

I wouldn't-no; _couldn't_ leave my life behind. But according to him, I could. And to be frank, I wanted to say yes. I wanted to say yes very badly.

* * *

"You can have it all, you know." I looked up, and he continued. "Power, isn't that what you want? Acceptance?" I nodded slowly.

"Then take your pick." He sneered maliciously. "What's it going to be, Hanako?"

* * *

My head snapped up and I made fearful eye contact with him.

I could say yes…leave everything behind. Become powerful, if what he said was true, and in just a few years time, too. I spent my life here...and yet I was still treated as if as I was a complete foreigner. 13 years should've been enough time to be accepted, right?

But if I did say yes, I would really leave everything behind. Everything I had stood for and attempted to achieve. I would shed Hanako Uchiha and become someone else.

And I wasn't sure if I wanted to become someone else.

Or I could stay here, and stay miserable for the rest of my life. Never achieve anything and stay on the sidelines forever.

* * *

In the years to come, I would look back on this day, and with mixed emotions think of what I could've said instead. As I grew older, I realized, I still didn't know what I should've said, or what would've been right. Even today, I still don't know, and I don't think I ever will.

In my mind, there was the practical answer, and there was the answer I wanted. It was a matter of head over heart. And I had to choose.

* * *

"…No."

The man, arms crossed, who had previously held a calm and sure expression on his face, shook his head in disbelief.

"Excuse me?" he said, as if he hadn't heard me correctly.

"No." I said, louder this time. My head was ducked down as I refused to meet his eyes. I clasped my hands stubbornly in front of me. Throughout this entire conversation, I was utterly stunned at how I had held up in front of him. I struggled to keep it going so I wouldn't end up giving in and change my mind.

He hmphed at me. "I wouldn't make a rash decision like that if I were you. In fact, I would-"

"I don't care!" I shrieked at him, throwing my hands up in exasperation. "Leave me alone!" I curled my knees closer to myself, burying my face in my forearms.

I heard him snort at me. "You're afraid to admit it, aren't you? You'd rather leave home; you're just afraid of what they would think."

"I'm not!" I defended, shutting my eyes closed.

"Stop pretending they want you!" he yelled at me. "You're a complete loser, you know that? You are you always will be! You'll stay like this forever unless you come with us!"

"I'd rather die!" I retaliated. When I realized what I had said, I covered my mouth regretfully and backed away from him, preparing to run for it.

His eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. "That can be arranged."

* * *

I continued backpedaling. "I-I'm sorry." I said in a hushed tone, my earlier confidence complete dissipated. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean-please, I just, I just want to-"

Abruptly, I tripped on a stone behind me and fell to the ground, still practically groveling at his feet. "I'm sorry, I just-"

"Shut up!" he snapped at me. I fell silent immediately.

"I didn't want to have to do this, but Leader seems to have taken a special interest in you." He spat. "He hasn't ever had someone with a bloodline limit. And you seem to be the perfect candidate."

I drew my arms in closer to me in a huddle. "But…I said no." I mewled pathetically.

"But, I said no." he mocked. "I don't give half a shit." he spat. "I have specific orders to bring you to Leader, regardless of what you might 'say'. We could've done it the easy way," he shrugged. "But you Leaf nin have always been fairly stubborn." His eyes fluttered close as an eerie silence took place over the area.

He placed his hands together in at least ten hand seals; all performed so swiftly I couldn't even register them in my head. Neon chakra emerged from his palms and he adjusted to a fighting stance as his smiled evilly at me.

"This might hurt a bit."

* * *

I tried to get to my feet, but I felt paralyzed and stuck to the spot. My eyes stayed focused on his chakra, which started to bend around him. The invisible wire tugged at my skin, but I now ignored it.

It was most definitely a foreign jutsu. Unlike anything my father or the multiple sensei here could teach me.

The chakra flashed to a pulsating black. It nearly quadrupled in size. The chakra shot upward and started to spin slowly, then speeding up.

In just a few moments, it bent into a swirling twister around him, reaching nearly twenty feet. Most frightening of all, it was completely soundless. It didn't disrupt the trees surrounding it, nor did it damage the buildings below. No one would be able to tell I was here.

That is, unless they found my corpse here.

He started to approach me, and the sense of dread washed over me. No way could I defend myself. Not against someone like him.

I shut my eyes and braced for the impact, a prayer on my lips.

* * *

And yet…nothing came. Instead, I heard the sound of birds chirping and screeching loudly. From beneath my now half-opened eyelids, I saw blue light, crackling and popping angrily.

My eyes flew open. My father stood in front of me, Sharingan activated and Chidori poised to strike. He stood calmly, flattened palm exposed out and blocking the arm wielding black chakra easily. Even with my Sharingan, I hadn't noticed his approach.

The foreign man's eyes unscrewed from their angry concentration into a confused daze.

"What…?" he breathed.

My father's fingers bent at the tip, and the electric chakra in his palm screeched louder. I flinched at the sound of the birds. He thrust his palm forward, directly into the chest of the other shinobi. The man went flying and scrambled to gain his bearings in the air, before falling on his back and rolling over painfully. Several moments passed, until he turned around, coughing and grasping his chest, only left with the ability to stare at my father in awe.

The Akatsuki man scrambled to his feet as he backed away from my father.

"A-Aren't you…" the man seemed to try and recall a distant memory, furrowing his brows in thought. "Wait. Y-you're Uchiha Sasuke, aren't you?"

My father hardly moved. His face was hidden to my sprawled figure on the ground. Even so, I found my nails digging into the ground from nervousness, with the urge to move away heavy in my chest. Even though he was my own dad, I feared him.

"Leave." He said simply.

The man backed up even further before smirking and protruding a kunai from his belt, flipping it casually in the air.

"No can do, old man." He tilted his head to the side while shrugging. "Orders are orders, a mission is a mission. You of all people should know, am I right?" He leaned forward, mouth set in a defiant grin. "What with your…darker past and such?"

I saw my dad visibly tense. If it was even possible, the Chidori became even more concentrated. Still, he said nothing. Even behind him, I could feel the intensity of his glare.

The man was intimidated, but didn't falter as he leaned back on an old post. He leaned over a tad to look over my father's shoulders to look at me, before making challenging eye contact with my father again.

"Your daughter is a special one, no?" he inquired softly. "Sort of how you were, or so the previous survivors of our group tell me."

"Dad…" I cut in, staring at my father. "What is he talking about?"

* * *

_Shit._

_13 years, I had managed to hide the truths of the Akatsuki from my children, and now this man was going to ruin it all._

_No, they couldn't find out. They just couldn't. Who knows what they would do- what Hanako would do- if they knew?_

* * *

He didn't turn around to face me, instead speaking directly to the Akatsuki member. "That is no longer my life. And no longer a concern of yours." He seethed, with barely controlled rage.

The man chuckled, before unsheathing a katana and gesturing for my father to do the same. His pale hand crept up to the hilt, ready to attack as he listened to the man continue.

"Excuse my rudeness, the name's Jiro." He fell into a mock bow. "At your humble service."

"I don't have time for games like this." My father announced to him, unsheathing the katana in full and falling into an offensive stance. "Leave now or fight." His voice was dangerously even as I shivered myself.

The katana in the other man's hand whipped around expertly as he chuckled. "Just because you used to be part of our group doesn't mean you can still hold your own against us. We've developed new techniques; _techniques,_" he clicked his tongue carefully. "that unfortunately, you have missed out on."

His eyes flickered towards me. "I feel sorry you have to watch me beat up your own dad."

* * *

I dug my nails into my palm while I regarded him with wide eyes, pushing myself even further away from him. Even though he was my dad, I had no idea the full extent of his powers and frankly, I didn't want to find out.

The man performed his hand seals again, eyes intently set into a glare. Lips barely moving, he murmured a jutsu underneath his breath.

Without even moving, my dad's katana flared up with blue electricity. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I felt the charge in the air. His eyes shot towards me swiftly over his shoulder.

"Hanako," he ordered sternly. "Cover your eyes. Now."

My eyes were fixated on the katana, but I did as he bid, unconsciously curling up into a ball from my relaxed while doing so.

* * *

An unintelligible set of sounds emerged from around me then. I was unable to identify what any of the sounds were. At one point, it sounded like the ring of metal, clashing against its opponent, while the next moment it sounded like fire, popping and sputtering.

Neither of them uttered a sound the entire time. Each second ticked by slowly; each second testing my patience to peek out from under my eyelids and check on them.

The sounds continued steadily for what felt like hours, although a small part of me reassured myself that it had only been minutes.

To take the briefest peek, I parted my fingers.

My father was barely injured, while the other man was decorated with cuts and slashes all across his body. Even so, it hardly consoled me. My dad looked about ready to collapse; chakra exhaustion. Obviously, this Akatsuki man hadn't been kidding in the least about his powers.

Moving way too fast for me to react or to cover my eyes again, my father's hands set in a strange seal, as his eyes focused, hard, on his enemy. The Sharingan in his eyes seemed to morph into a far darker version of the regular Sharingan. What was even more frightening was that my own eyes seemed to hurt just from looking at him. I didn't know what this foreign Sharingan was, if one could even still classify it as Sharingan.

Wait…it couldn't possibly be…Mangekyou Sharingan? I had heard rumours but...no way dad could use Mangekoyou, right?

Then again, he had always been one to surprise.

"Tsukuyomi." He seethed.

* * *

Time seemed to stop.

I lost control over my limbs. I couldn't move an inch. The only parts that seemed to remain the same were my eyes. I flickered them upward.

The originally white moon above me had turned a grotesque shade of red. Almost scarlet. The entire town around me was bathed in the hue of blood.

The lights of Konoha were gone. There wasn't a sound, literally.

That's when I noticed I couldn't breathe. I had tried to take a deep breath, when I realized, my mouth wouldn't comply. It wouldn't open, and no amount of my forcing could break me of this strange bout of paralysis.

I tried to bring my hands up, but they refused to move, and sat limply in my lap, fingers curling upward expectantly for movement. I averted my eyes to the side, my neck stuck in place as well as I felt the urgency for air arise in my chest.

I tried inhale, but it was almost as if the air was...gone. There was just no other way to describe it.

A movement in front of me startled me. The air...or rather, space, in front of me, shimmered, waving in a strange pattern as an illusion of some sort seemed to disturb it. For just a moment, passing so quickly I hardly noticed it, the entire area around me went black and canvas-plain. In that split-second, there was truly nothing.

When the other surroundings filled back in as quickly as they left, a manic distortion took place several feet...or was it metres...it could even be centimetres, away from me. I couldn't judge the distance; my mind had essentially fallen to pieces.

The colors of this world inverted. My skin switched to its polar opposite, darkening and lightening until there wasn't anything but black and white, save for the red sky above me. I lost a sense of touch and temperature. I couldn't tell you if I was cold or warm.

Then again, what exactly was cold again...? My thoughts wandered, so I hardly noticed the space in front begin to wave even more violently than before.

The space in front of me split into two wide, gaping holes, without warning.

* * *

I can honestly say it was the most painful thing I've ever experienced.

The spaces formed into eyes. Filled with red yet somehow also filled with black. The space around the eyes twisted inward, as if it were sucking in everything around it.

I couldn't necessarily describe it to you...other than...

Think about every painful thing you've gone through; it could be something as simple as a paper cut to something like losing a family member. Combine every one of those memories. And magnify it.

And imagine you were watching every single one of those memories flash by in your head like a screenshow, in slow motion. It was torture. Slow, mental torture.

But it wasn't just past pain. It was pain to come. It was essentially..._pure pain. _I saw things I shouldn't have seen, things I wish I hadn't seen.

Worst of all, I saw my own death.

* * *

Blood- _my_ blood- splattered across my face as I saw myself fall to the ground. I could feel all the pain that this illusion of me was feeling, except...it wasn't really there. I could feel the stab, I could feel the life leaving me, even though it truly wasn't there.

It was as if there was some invisible barrier separating me...here...from the me...over there. Her face, my clone's face, was turned away from me, but I could see her gasp and shudder. I inwardly winced and felt the blade pierce inside myself. I couldn't even see the enemy.

...What the hell was this?

* * *

I tried to open my mouth to scream, but nothing emerged. It was utterly silent, and I felt truly alone. Alone with my pain.

The eyes...

I lost senses. I'm not exactly sure what happened from there. I can't recount the memory properly. I might've fallen to my knees, eyes glued to the large eyes across from me. I might've managed to pry my mouth open and let out a blood-chilling scream, and broken free of that torture chamber. I might've seen the eyes widen in shock, and the world disappear around me, as the eyes fell back onto my father's face.

I might've seen my dad stumble backwards and look at me in utter regret, before drawing me close to him and scolding me, teary himself, about why I hadn't kept my eyes shut and avoided the Mangekyou.

* * *

_Jiro twitched and rolled around under the intense, and ever torturous gaze of the Sharingan._

_His eyes widened in pain, as he tried to open his mouth to shriek. But nothing._

_I almost felt bad for inflicting this upon him. Almost._

_That's when I felt a tug of sorts, a familiar chakra, pulling out towards my side._

_When I turned to face it, I saw my oldest daughter, eyes wide, on her knees, and tears streaming down her face._

_Fuck._

* * *

Sasuke gasped. "Ha-Hanako?" he whispered, utterly caught off guard. Regardless of his cold demeanor, his family were the only people who could truly catch him at his weakest.

The genjutsu stopped immediately. Jiro turned over and opened his mouth to scream, until his eyes grew wide, and no sound emerged. He didn't move again.

Hanako collapsed onto the ground, shivering. Her limbs were sprawled out at strange angles, having obviously lost mental control.

_Her Sharingan..._he thought, as he rushed over to her. _No way...I couldn't have..._

Sasuke fell to his knees and pulled her close, as he started to sob into her hair. He wrapped his arms around her and clutched onto her as if for dear life.

"Hanako!" he wept. "Why the hell did you open your eyes? I told you to keep your eyes shut!"

Hanako's body was limp. Nothing came from her mouth. He turned her so he could see her face.

Her mouth was tightly shut. There were clawing marks and scratches on her chin and lips, from her attempts to open her mouth. Her eyes were wide open, Sharingan fully activated. With a young Mangekyou implanted inside.

Despite Sasuke's horror and regret, Sasuke Uchiha had just implanted a Mangekyou Sharingan into his daughter.

* * *

**A/N: Sigh, I think this is definitely the most controversial chapter. I hope you enjoyed it, I got a little worked up writing this myself. Um, questions, PM me or leave a review if you don't have an account and have a concern. I understand this chapter might be kind of difficult to follow...but I hope you guys enjoyed nonetheless.**

**So, this chapter was pretty fast, so I'm hoping I can update soon! Reviews please! No flames. **

**-silver  
**


	6. Awe

**A/N: I apologize for the long wait, I've been preoccupied. (Flat out lie). ALRIGHT, I've been watching Fruits Basket D: But it's a good anime, so none of you have the right to kill me.**

**Alright, first and foremost, I want to thank my reviewers for their awesome feedback, I really enjoy reading your comments. :33 (spoiled author here)**

**Secondly, I want to address a reviewer named abc. They mentioned it was almost impossible for Sasuke to have chakra exhaustion, so let me just clarify. (The rest of you can just skip this part)  
**

**Jiro was about 17 at the time, and Sasuke, by this point, is in his late 30s, early 40s. Jiro only called Sasuke an old man because it's in Jiro's character to be very rude and undermining. I don't believe I ever flat out said Sasuke got old, just that Jiro himself thought so. (Sorry if that doesn't make sense) One more thing, Sasuke probably is capable of chakra exhaustion because he's human like everyone else. But yeah, your review does make sense, and I appreciate your feedback as it is. :) It's just my personal stance on it.**

**ALRIGHT, now that that's all taken care of, enjoy!**

**PS: Oh right, one more thing, I don't think I ever mentioned Hanabi was Hitonomi's mom. I'm not a fan of Kiba x Hanabi but hey...now I'm babbling. O_O  
**

**

* * *

**

Her hand lay unfurled on the stark white sheets, skin gray and fingers curling up towards the sunlight filtering through the hospital windows.

Sakura sighed and picked up her other hand, bringing it up to her chest and clutching it tightly, trying to calm her breathing. Fugaku stood behind his mother, hand placed comfortingly on her shoulder, rubbing familiar circles on her back all the while.

Tsunade sat on the other side of the bed, brow furrowed in deep concentration as she leaned over Hanako's comatose body, stethoscope pressed firmly against her weakly rising chest. She was half-standing, eyes sharply locked with Hanako's closed ones.

Sasuke stood outside the room, arms crossed and face stoic, watching the entire scene through the thick glass outside the room. Seiko stood nearby him, casually leaning against the doorframe, paying little heed to her injured twin as she visibly rolled her eyes and sighed loudly every few moments.

Tsunade sighed tiredly and drew the stethoscope away from Hanako, before curling the instrument back into a ball and tucking it into a nearby drawer. She folded her hands in her lap as he eyes evenly met her pupil's. Sakura's eyes widened as her grip tightened on her daughter's limp hand.

"Sakura…" Tsunade said slowly, unsure of how to phrase her message. "I…" she propped up her elbow and rubbed her temple, eyes shut in deep thought. "I just…honestly don't know."

Sakura's breath hitched slightly as Fugaku's mouth visibly tightened, as well as his grip on his mother.

"There are just some things I can't tell you. I don't know enough – if you could even classify my limited knowledge as substantial, about the Mangekyou to make a full analysis. I don't know anything about the symptoms, the treatment…all of that lies in Sasuke."

She breathed deeply before continuing. "I can't guarantee you her survival."

Sakura seemed to choke silently as Tsunade stood, head ducked down and voice laced with genuine sympathy.

"My prayers are with you and your family, Sakura." Tsunade turned to leave the room, before glancing over her shoulder. "And remember, don't feel helpless; you're a medic too, and a damn good one at that."

Sakura blinked, before smiling sadly. "Not without a good master first."

The corners of Tsunade's mouth upturned a fraction of an inch, before she swiftly spun on her heel and left as quickly as she came.

* * *

Rinji fell back into a chair, blinking his eyes disbelievingly. "You're not serious?" he questioned. "She's seriously in the hospital?"

Hito nodded as he took a seat across from him on the patio of the Inuzuka compound. "My mom heard about it when she was at the hospital the other day, checking on her ANBU apprentices. I guess she must've recognized Hanako's name." He passed a glass of lemonade to Rinji.

Rinji inwardly flinched at the thought of Hanabi Inuzuka fiercely questioning about one of her son's best friends.

Rinji cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "What happened to her?" he whistled out.

"Not sure. We should go visit and find out later."

Akamaru leaped into Hito's lap and whimpered sadly, noticing the sudden absence and how empty the friends seemed to be without their third counterpart. Hito stroked his fur absent-mindedly as Rinji stared at him stoically.

"…so what now?"

"Good news!" a familiar and unusually cheerful voice echoed from above their heads. Hito averted his gaze upward to see Kakashi crouching upside down on the underside of an awning, smiling (or, as best as someone with a mask on could smile) with his hand up in a salute.

Hito pushed Akamaru off his lap. "What's the good news?"

Kakashi tossed Hito a flyer. He glanced down at it skeptically before raising an eyebrow in disinterest and passing it to Rinji. Rinji glanced at it before turning to Kakashi disbelievingly.

"Chuunin exams?" he inquired. "Yeah, sure. After one mission, I'm sure we can take on the exams." He rolled his eyes sarcastically.

Kakashi dismounted from his position under the roof awning, landing neatly on his feet and crossing his arms. For once, his hands were devoid of orange porn.

"You have almost 10 months until the exams. That's plenty of time to get ready."

Rinji shrugged before bringing a knee up to his chest and leaning backwards casually. "I don't see much of a point. Rookies never make it."

Kakashi moved closer to Rinji, leaning down to face him as he said softly.

"You do know your dad tried it as a rookie, right?" he asked smugly.

Rinji blinked twice, incredulously. "...Really? Hmm." He leaned on his elbow. "Really…"

Kakashi nodded twice. "Yup. There were nine of them, your dad, Hanako's and Hito's parents included. Only a few passed. But there's no reason you shouldn't try, am I right?"

Rinji pondered this quietly as Hito leaned over to him and hissed. "You're not actually considering this, are you?" His eyes narrowed. "We'll be fighting in front of crowds; no way I'm gonna go out there and get publicly humiliated." He finished loudly, putting his hands together.

Rinji scoffed loudly at him, waving dismissively at him as he muttered under his breath. "Pansy." He came up from off his elbow, turning his head to face him. "What do we have to lose? It gives us some experience. And besides, there are people who could do way worse than us."

Hito snorted. "Yeah, like who?" Names and faces floated through their heads as they thought about it.

They both froze as the same familiar face came to mind. Both ducked their heads in shame.

Hito abruptly stood, eyes glued to Rinji's face and a stark glare embedded on his own. Akamaru tumbled out of his lap a second time and landed with a plop on the ground, Hito attracting a disgruntled look from the dog.

"Fine, we'll do it. I mean…it does help with _our _experience, right?" he articulated slowly, emphasizing his words. "And besides, there's no one we know who's _that _bad, right?" he played on, more so trying to convince himself than to convince Rinji.

Rinji nodded half-heartedly, eyes glazed over and his chin rested lazily against his hand again. "Yeah." He nodded, voice cheerful, before it faltered. "…Yeah."

* * *

The first thing I noticed was my eyes hurt. Really badly.

It was like they were burning. And it was like I was blind.

When I finally had it in me to crack my eyes open a slit, the light flooded in. My pupils were so shocked from the sudden exposure I started to tear up immediately and nearly screamed.

My left hand came up to cover my eyes again, while the other swung out wildly from the sudden movement. I felt my hand collide with some sort of a monitoring machine next to me. Moments later, a series of high pitched beeps started emitting from it like an alert.

As I carefully shaded my eyes, I dared to look at my hand.

It was far paler than before. I mean, I was milky; sickly pale to begin with. But now it was almost…ghostly. Transparent. Tubes protruded from the inlet of my wrist and my arm crackled with the sound of paper and plastic attached all over me.

I momentarily panicked, looking about me far too quickly and experiencing a rather dizzying wave of whiplash. As I surveyed myself, I noticed I was clothed in a simple, stiff hospital gown with a breathing mask hanging around my neck. I reached up to pat my head and realized how my hair had rested itself into a strange shape.

I glanced about the room. A small pot of daisies had been placed on the bedside. A pile of get-well cards from a few family friends were laid beside it. Other than that the room was utterly devoid of color and human presence.

I unconsciously yanked my arm a second time, which prompted the machine to explode in a flurry of shrill alarms. Moments later, a young nurse rushed in, clutching her chest as she caught her breath.

"I…hope…I didn't…take too long…Uchiha-san." She quickly swallowed as she continued. "I…was at the other end…of the hospital…when your alarm went…off."

Standing up straighter and smoothing out her unruly nurse's scrubs, she bowed quickly to me. "If there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to-"

A thin hand protruded out of what seemed to be thin air, from directly behind the nurse, pulling her back and causing her to spin wildly on her heel. The nurse exclaimed in surprise before landing rather ungracefully on a plush couch behind her. Her face was twisted in brief annoyance before she realized who had caused her to trip. She stood up and bowed numerous times.

"Uchiha-sensei, gomenasai. I didn't mean to block you or anything."

My mother waved her down impatiently, eyes glued to my face with a peculiar expression plastered on her own. Her hair was a mess and she too, seemed out of breath. She approached me in a careful manner, crouching down on her knees as she removed a lock of hair from my face.

"Mom," I croaked, and for the first time, I realized how foreign and strange my voice sounded. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" My memory was so foggy…

She frowned. "You were walking home when…something happened." She chose her words with care. "You've been here for almost a week."

"Oh…" I sank back onto my pillow, absent-mindedly fingering my temple, before sitting up abruptly again. "Wait, what about my team?"

My mom pulled a chair closer to the bed. "It's fine. They've still been training without you, but Kakashi asked me to make sure you get out there training as soon as possible. And speaking of which…" She opened a cupboard from the bedside table, drawing out a bottle of pills and popping the cap open. She held out an enormous green pill to me, as well as a glass of water. "Take it." She ordered.

I stared at her, before picking it up carefully and plopping it into my mouth, pouting inwardly. Grumbling, I struggled to force the pill down. She nodded in content, before setting it down on the bedside and turning on her heel. As she left the room, she called over her shoulder, "I expect you to take one every hour, you hear me?"

"Mhmm." I mumbled, settling back into bed. She smiled at me before disappearing in a long whip of her doctor's coat.

* * *

Sakura left the room quickly until her daughter was out of earshot, before she tucked her hands behind her body, leaned against the wall and sighed. She didn't have to open her eyes to realize Sasuke was standing next to her.

"Well?" he asked expectantly.

Her mouth curved up into a small smile, eyes still closed. "You could've just checked on her yourself, you know."

"…Sakura…" he struggled. "I can't really-"

"Hmm." She cut him off. "I understand." Her eyes snapped open and she propped herself against the wall on one elbow. "Good news is, she's improving, faster than I thought she would. She might even be out in a few days considering the pace she's moving at."

Although most wouldn't be able to tell, Sakura noticed a faint relief in his eyes. "That's good."

"I'll say." She grinned, standing on her tiptoes, pecking him lightly on the cheek. "I've gotta get to work, see you later tonight."

As she lowered herself and walked away from him, she faltered, before turning back around to speak to him.

"You know, you shouldn't feel...afraid. She's your daughter." Her tone was warm and she smiled hesitantly at his figure, now turned away from her. "She could never hate you."

"…Aa."

* * *

I relished the feeling of exiting the hospital. For the first time in almost two weeks, I got the chance to stretch my legs and not be hindered by tubes and wires. I stepped briskly, almost skipping, down the hallways. As I walked through the automatic doors, sliding open smoothly for me and allowing in a strong flash of sunlight, I squinted and smiled at the sight before me.

I sighed gratefully as the wind blew in my face. I placed my arms in front of me in an open gesture, as if I was collecting the sunlight in my palms. A man on a bike cycled past me, ringing his bell as I started on my walk home.

For almost ten minutes, it was rather peaceful. The sky was full of puffy clouds and the trees swayed slowly above me. Perhaps best of all was that I didn't have to deal with the awkwardness of having to talk to anyone and discuss why I was in the hospital, as my parents had made sure not to tell anyone of my earlier encounter. Eventually I did remember myself how I ended up hospitalized, but it certainly was not one experience I ever wanted to recall again.

I strayed off and lingered on the side of the road, attempting not to get in anyone's way. It was utterly ruined when I saw Neji Hyuga of all people, walking down with his head high and mouth set in a consistent frown. He seemed to be glaring at the space in front of him, all the while taking long strides and walking purposefully to wherever he was going. Accompanying him was a pretty lady; however one couldn't mistake the faint outline of muscle on her thin arms. She looked to be about the same age. On top of her head, two twin buns were piled, reminding me slightly of a panda. She was wearing a Chinese style top with a Mandarin collar. She was smiling at him, laughing at everything that came out of his mouth with overt cheerfulness.

_So that must be Tenten. _I thought to myself. _She's completely different than what I anticipated…_

I was losing my focus, walking slower and slower as I turned my neck to watch their retreating figures. I craned my neck and adjusted my head to keep a close eye on them, still somewhat curious about Tenten. By this point, I was looking almost directly behind me, still walking forward, when I unwittingly crashed face first into a street pole.

"Ahh!" I stumbled backwards, one hand on my forehead. "Ow ow ow ow ow…"

I backpedaled into a wall, where I sank to the ground still clutching my forehead and voicing my pain for the world to hear. The people on the streets stared at me, and I saw a little boy with his mother pointing at me and laughing.

I was almost relieved my head was ducked down; if anyone had recognized me, I would've only brought more shame to myself after the whole babysitting scare.

I heard someone sigh, irritated, above me. I averted my gaze upward, vision still somewhat swimming, to see Hito, arms crossed and eyebrow cocked at me, as he said, "Graceful as always, neh Hanako?" Akamaru stood by his side, tail waving happily behind him.

I glared at him, hands still on my pounding head. Even so, I was happy to see him.

Akamaru barked loudly, placing his two front legs in my lap and licking my face. I pushed the dog off and stood, brushing my shorts clean, folding my arms in the process. "Haha, very funny."

"Mhmm." He turned around and started off in the direction of the training grounds, opposite from my house. "Come with me, Kakashi wants the whole team to meet."

"Right now?" I asked, a hint of a whine in my voice.

"Just hurry up." He rolled his eyes, grabbing my wrist and starting down the road faster.

* * *

"Chuunin exams?" I scanned the text, before looking back up at Kakashi. "Isn't that a little early for us? I mean, most teams wait at least two years before trying, right?"

Kakashi shrugged. "What's the worst that can happen? Besides you dying, of course?" He ended cheerfully, shrugging.

We all fell simultaneously silent as our eyes bugged out of our heads.

* * *

A messenger knocked thrice on the wooden doors, which, until now, he had never noticed was embedded with skulls.

Seemed as though Leader had more victims than he had presumed.

The doors swung open, two enormous guards flagging either side of the entryway, and armed with one long katana each. The room was fairly large, wider than it was deep. The ceiling seemed to extend to an unfathomable reach above. Several torches lined the walls, casting a bloody glow across the ridged walls of the cavern. Directly opposite from the doors was an altar, extending the whole length of the room, with three steps leading up to it. It was empty, save for one stone throne, now momentarily facing away from the doors.

He entered briskly, approaching the wide altar on the other side of the room, before kneeling down.

"Leader, I-" he began, before he was cut off.

A deep, baritone voice resounded around the room, emanating from the stone chair. "Where is she?" the voice questioned coldly.

The messenger hesitated for Leader's reaction. "M-my deepest apologies, Leader, but I'm afraid Jiro was unable to complete the mission."

"Any why is that?" The voice snapped back cruelly. "Jiro knows I am no patient man. Why was he unable to complete the mission?"

The messenger felt himself shaking, head still ducked down. "H-he was killed, L-Leader. By Uchiha Sasuke."

"Uchiha?" The voice questioned angrily. "I thought he had already been finished off long ago."

"A-apparently not, Leader."

Leader, from his chair, sighed tiredly, before swinging around out of his chair. The messenger's face was presently drenched in sweat as he heard each of Leader's footsteps approaching him with a prolonged lingering and louder echo with each cumulative step.

Finally, two point tipped black boots came into the view of the messenger, who felt a cold, sweaty hand grasping around his chin and forcing his view upward.

Leader's eyes were invisible; shrouded by long strands of greasy shoulder-length black hair, falling forward and brushing the messenger's shaking face.

"Get the girl, at any cost. And this time…" he leaned in closer, whispering into the messenger's ear, who had now paled to almost translucency. "Killing Uchiha Sasuke would be a big bonus." He clicked his tongue on each word, lingering over the syllables eerily.

He threw the messenger back, who gasped and nodded fervently, before scrambling to his feet and running out of the room as fast as his earnest feet would take him.

Leader smirked after him, before turning and clasping his hands behind him. Barely audible, he whispered to the guards behind him.

"Kill him."

* * *

"I mean, you don't have to do the exams if you don't want." Kakashi offered, eyes, or rather, eye, closed in thought. "I'll admit, it is very dangerous, a severe gamble on your life, and I've seen more than my fair share of victims."

"Then we'll opt out of this one." I said, leaning back contentedly on his elbows, eyes closing in relaxation.

Hito nodded along with him, and changed his mind and re-instated his earlier argument. "Yeah, I see no point in humiliating ourselves."

Kakashi nodded in understanding, before burying himself in the pages of his porn again. "But then again, your dad did do it in his first year too."

My eyes shot wide open. "My…dad?"

"Yup." Kakashi replied nonchalantly. "In fact, if memory serves me right, all of your fathers did. Even your and Hito's mothers." He finished, gesturing to me as he said so.

"And?" Rinji asked excitedly. "You never said if my dad passed or not." It was no secret to any of us it was his dearest wish to be like his father. Any chance to be like him was something Rinji would never pass up. "He passed, right? He passed with flying colours, I'm sure of it. Man, this is awesome; I can't wait to take the exams!" He answered himself.

"What about my parents?" Hito asked.

Kakashi tried to answer, but Rinji cut him off. "Does it matter? If my dad passed, then why can't we?"

Kakashi smiled at Rinji, somewhat tired by his antics nonetheless. "Well, actually Rinji, he-"

Hito cut in then. "I think we should go for it then. It's great experience, right?"

"But wait, just 5 seconds ago you said…" I interjected.

"And you wanted me to skip out on these. Pfft." Rinji pointed at Hito accusingly, rolling his eyes. "Never wanting to go for the challenge, right? Well, we're taking these exams, whether you like it or not!" And with a grin on his face and hand clutched into a fist, he marched off somewhere more exciting to train. Hito muttered after his retreating figure, "I just said I wanted to take them, dumbass."

I was left just about ready to facepalm myself. What the hell just happened?

I turned to Kakashi. "But our parents…did any of them pass? _Actually _pass?" I emphasized.

Kakashi smiled guiltily, rubbing the back of his head. "Not exactly. I mean, a few people from their year passed, but none of them directly, no."

I huffed visibly. "Well, when Rinji makes up his mind, he makes up his mind. I suppose we could go for it. I'm actually kinda interested in taking them, now that I think about it."

Hito visibly stiffened before turning to me slowly, and speaking very carefully as if addressing a small child.

"You're…you're okay with this? You sure you're ready to do this? Because I mean, it's totally understandable if you want to opt out." He averted his gaze everywhere, somehow refusing to meet my eyes, which was completely out of character for him. He almost always kept strong eye contact when he spoke to someone.

I laughed awkwardly. "Of course I want to take the exams. It'll be good experience for us, like you said."

"So long as you don't get killed." Kakashi added.

"Well, I guess it'd be, but…" Hito looked down awkwardly. "It's dangerous. I mean, I think we should all take the exams when we feel personally ready, not just because we want to. Like, maybe this year, only Rinji, and possibly me, would take them and-"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "…Why would you want that? I want us to take the exams as a team."

"No, I mean, I get that, but…" He shrugged, as if weighing his options whether or not to continue the conversation.

I felt my eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "But what?"

"But everyone else in the exams is strong. Experienced. And we're just genin, fresh genin, not to mention, I just don't think it's safe for you to be-"

"What do you mean, _safe for me_?" I inquired coldly, voice raising and becoming more suspicious by the second. "How is it going to be safe for you if it's not safe for me? What about Rinji? And the other teams? Why are you saying this?" I practically yelled, getting up on my feet and pointing an accusing finger at him. "Do you have any idea how hypocritical you sound? You have just the same amount of experience as me, how would that make you any diff-" I faltered.

…Oh.

I fell silent, and looked into my lap, where my twitching hands lay.

A few tense moments passed, until I realized Kakashi had disappeared. Hito responded in a soft voice, as if trying to get me to understand.

"…I-we, are just looking out for you."

"You think you're better than me." I said in a monotone.

"That's not it, I'm just trying to say-"

"You don't think it's possible for me to pass."

"Just listen, that's not what I'm saying, I'm-"

"You really think you're looking out for me by doing this?" I asked him in a whisper.

"…Yes?" Hito questioned, unsure of my reaction to his saying that.

I stood up, and stared down at him in what should've been an intimidating foul expression, but probably came out looking more cramped and hurt than anything.

"Looking down on me is more like it." The flyer, which was still in my hand, was flung hardly at his chest the next moment as I stalked out of the training grounds, fuming and just about ready to murder someone.

* * *

"Dammit." I cursed under my breath, walking down the empty street to go home, however I ended up walking in a circle around the same blocks over and over. "Dammit, dammit, dammit."

It was mid-afternoon, and I was relieved to find the roads a little less crowded. It left me more time to think.

"So none of them think I can pass, not even Rinji…" I mused thoughtfully. "Huh."

I turned a corner, absent-mindedly picking up a rock on the ground and tossing it up and down in my hand.

"Interesting." I answered myself. "Well then I guess all that shit you said about _Seiko-_" I threw the rock as I said her name into a wall, leaving a small blemish where it hit. "Really was just a load of shit, neh?"

"Seiko, Seiko, Seiko." I sang her name bitterly. "I'm sure she'll do wonderfully on the exam." I bent down to pick up another rock, carefully looking where I wanted to aim it this time. "Then they can stop pretending they actually believe in me." As I muttered to myself, I threw the rock, much farther than last time, towards the Hokage's tower. Of course, it didn't go nearly as far as I wished it had, my having misjudged the distance. It arced and fell somewhere into the clump of trees surrounding the tower, a lost cause.

...Kinda like me?

Jiro's face flashed in my mind. I felt the blood drain from my face before I shook him out of my thoughts.

Ridiculous. Absurd. And most of all, impossible.

Me, with the Akatsuki, please. The Akatsuki, or whatever 'experimental' group they had become, were an unreachable ideal to me. Regardless of their intentions, they were…frightening. Powerful and polished, and my polar opposite. Meanwhile I…I was full of flaws, personal fears and lacked boldness.

I was…weak.

I'm not sure what drove me to it, but I suddenly reached for a kunai in my holster and stabbed it into the stone wall next to me. When only the tip pierced the stone, I drove it on harder, grimacing, before finally yanking the knife out and depositing it in my pocket again, dejected.

Suddenly, I heard Seiko's voice filter through the air. Curious, and more than a little disoriented, I followed it. Walking through an area somewhat sheltered by thin trees, I came across to a clearing on the other side, which was actually the top of a long, sloped hill. Beneath this hill was a field, probably for training purposes, judging from the abrupt missing patches of grass and chipped stone boulders all around the area.

Seated on top of the boulders was Seiko, calmly speaking to Takashi, standing solemnly on the ground with his arms folded and mouth set in what appeared to be a permanent scowl. The third teammate, someone I didn't know particularly well but recognized nonetheless, was Aburame-san's son, Hajime. I hadn't seen him since my Academy days.

He looked about the same, more or less. Unlike his father, he didn't wear a jacket that covered the bottom half of his face, instead opting for a sleeveless hoodie in the exact same shade of his father's jacket. He wore basic ninja shorts and sandals, but he still kept true to wearing shades like his dad, however he did take them off once in awhile. Although, I had never seen him fight much, so I wasn't sure if he controlled bugs like Shino did.

"-and I think we should go for it." I heard Seiko say, for once not in her poisonously sweet tone. Her face was serious as she stared down at her teammates. "All of our parents attempted them when they were our age, or even younger. We've been genin for two years now; we should be ready for this."

I hid behind a tree to conceal my presence, as I heard Takashi respond. "Yes, I agree. My father passed when he attempted, I see no reason why I shouldn't be able to do the same."

Tension seemed to brew between the three as they noticed he said 'I' as opposed to 'we'.

Hajime simply added, "Akimichi-sensei thinks we are ready, so I suppose as long as we hold his belief, then it will be fine."

Seiko visibly scoffed. "I couldn't care less what sensei says, I'll go through with it either way."

I looked down, away from her. Seiko had made it clear, painfully clear, in my case, that she wasn't particularly fond of people who…let's just say, who didn't meet her _visual_ expectations. I mean, I had seen Akimichi-sensei fight before, and he was strong and admirable. But I had also seen people whispering behind him and laughing at him all the time. Except usually afterwards he would kill them. Literally, in some cases.

So people, to some extent, respected him. Even Nara-san, one of the most respected shinobi in our village, seemed to truly value him.

Which made me reflect again on whether or not my friends truly valued me.

I was interrupted by Takashi, who cut Seiko off. "So are we all in agreement to take the exams?"

The other two nodded.

"Very well." Takashi finished smoothly. "So, since we should be expecting some extremely advanced shinobi at the exams, we may as well begin practicing now."

"Alright." Seiko retorted in a challenging tone. "A spar?"

"One-on-one?" Hajime asked, although he couldn't hide the brief excitement in his voice.

"How about we all spar against each other?" Takashi smirked. "Last one standing wins."

Without requiring any words, they all spread out into a triangular formation, facing away from each other as they prepared to fight.

It almost made me a little jealous, to see how confident they were in themselves that they were willing to fight at any moment. Then again, any-self respecting nin should be.

But then again, I wasn't self-respecting. I barely even cut the line for being a kunoichi as it was.

I contrasted this with the reluctance to train on my team, or rather, my reluctance, due to my fear of knowing my limits. And whenever my team did spar…it was clumsy, awkward and downright embarrassing.

I silenced my thoughts as I prepared to watch.

Seiko, who was currently facing my direction, had her eyes closed in concentration. The next moment, her eyes flew open to reveal her bloodline limit, mouth set firmly and face stoic in focus. I hadn't realized she had already achieved two tomoe.

Just another thing I didn't have.

Suddenly, in a whip of speed, Hajime had several kunai in his hand and launched himself off the ground into a backflip. He released the kunai in a clean shot as they went whizzing towards Seiko and Takashi, who still stood in the starting position, as if they were waiting.

If that were me in their position, I probably would've ended up flinching, falling or just plain running away screaming. As the kunai came closer and closer to their targets, I got nervous.

_Move already! _I urged them in my head. _Do something!_

And then Takashi disappeared.

I blinked twice at the illusion. Genjutsu. Impressive. Although it should've been expected considering who he was.

Hajime landed gracefully on the ground, straightening and falling into an offensive stance. Knowing Takashi's supposed speed, he checked every direction, waiting for an attack while still keeping an eye on Seiko.

Suddenly, Seiko sprung backward, fist laced with chakra, as she punched the ground a foot away from Hajime. The ground flew up in chunks, a technique I had seen my mother use, although Seiko's attack was nowhere near to the extent of my mother's power.

Hajime jumped in reflex, and Takashi chose that chance to emerge from the foliage, Byakugan clearly activated against his pale skin, as his hands were set in a series of hand seals I didn't recognize. I guessed it was most likely going to be Gentle Fist.

He struck quickly, twice, at Hajime, who narrowly dodged them and grabbed Takashi by the shoulders, before flinging him back against a tree.

So even Takashi hadn't mastered the Gentle Fist. At least, not at the speed necessary for it to be usable in battle.

Seiko saw this as her chance, and as Hajime fell back towards the ground, she jumped up and threw a kick at Hajime's shoulder, who blocked it easily. The second time she attacked she used the Sharingan to her advantage and saw how he intended to block, and instead opted to hit his unguarded left side.

He let out an audible grunt as he fell towards the ground in a puff of smoke. Seiko fell back down on her knees and slowly stood, falling backwards into her stance.

I hadn't yet mastered the fire techniques of my clan yet, at least not to the scope Seiko had. Using a speed I couldn't hope to copy, she placed two fingers in front of her mouth, and using my Sharingan, I saw her channel all her chakra into her lungs and mouth, as she blew threw the gap between her fingers.

A long stream of fire emitted from her mouth, concentration etched into Seiko's face all the while. It flew directly into the area Hajime had disappeared, although she seemed to conclude he wasn't there. Still blowing out a consistent stream of flame, she directed the fire in a wide circle around the field, engulfing almost the entire area in flame.

It was a good technique. Her opponents would either be forced outside the flames, which would usually be a dead giveaway to their position, or they would be inside the circle, which would leave them utterly trapped.

Hajime and Takashi seemed to have decided to stay within the circle, so they both stood facing Seiko, while still keeping a large distance between themselves, eyes glancing back and forth between each other.

By this point, I was solely in awe watching the fight, so I hardly expected Seiko to drop her guard and say.

"Hanako, what are you doing here?"

* * *

**A/N: Good? Not good? HORRIBLE? D: Well, in my opinion, even though it may not be the most exciting, it feels somewhat decent to me. I hope I can convince myself to start Chapter 7 later today...although I may be too lazy to. :D**

**You know where the green button is, reviewers! And this time, I'm not gonna promise you another chap will be up soon because I'm a terrible person when it comes to deadlines. ;;**

**-silver  
**


	7. Confusion

**A/N: Yellooo, readers. Well, this is the last story I'm going to update before I go on vacation (although I highly doubt a mere vacation can keep me from writing more chapters). I'm not sure, although MAY be banned where I'm heading, I dunno.**

**Anyhoo, enjoy this chapter. **

**BTW, there are some POV changes between Seiko and Hanako, so I've italicized all of Seiko's POVs.  
**

* * *

I blinked. Crap.

I stumbled away from the scene, turning around and starting to run before Seiko's voice echoed down from below. I could just imagine the look of disgust on her face.

"There's no need to run away, we can all see your big ass from here."

I froze and the blood rushed to my cheeks. _Say something back! _I thought to myself. _Tell her where her place is!_

"What do you want?" I heard Takashi say after Seiko, with a touch more etiquette but with equal, if not colder, harshness. I guess he still wasn't over Tomoe.

I turned around slowly, more than a bit intimidated. What should I say? I never spoke to them, unless it was absolutely necessary. And why _had_ I been sitting there? I couldn't even fathom with my scrambled thoughts.

"I...I-I" I stammered, my shy side taking over again. "I-um, I was just-I was-"

Seiko scoffed from below; hand on her hip and eyes narrowed at me. "I don't have time to deal with this, we need to train." She turned away from me and walked in the opposite direction, and started gathering the scattered kunai. "Stop annoying us and go home already." She spat.

I'm not sure why, but suddenly my chest was hurting and that all too familiar sensation of my throat closing in re-appeared. And with burning humiliation, I stood up, and walked home.

_That…_had been my best friend?

* * *

I was a failure and I knew it. I felt it, I breathed it; I lived in my own pity.

My head had been hidden underneath my pillow for almost an hour. At least, it felt like an hour.

I had never run home as fast, chin glued to my chest and arms wrapping around one another for comfort. I was thankful neither one of my parents were home, only Fugaku, who seemed too busy peering over a study scroll for his Jounin exams to bother acknowledging me.

I ran across the courtyard separating my family's rooms from mine, before hurrying into mine, slamming the door shut, and hiding under the covers.

I didn't want to hear her words, over and over. It was…

I couldn't quite describe it. Needless to say, I was in no mood to eat that night, and skipped out, and I ignored the discontent rumbles from my stomach.

I pulled my head out from underneath the covers and let my hair spread fan-like across the back of my pillow, staring at the ceiling.

I was selfish, to say the least. My only goal was to be better than Seiko, or at least escape from her prodding eyes and disapproving scoffs. I neglected my team and let them do all the work, coming along for the ride. And Hito and Rinji were too polite and too caring to say no.

It wasn't their fault about earlier today. Why shouldn't they look down on me, after all? I was weak. They were strong. And it was probably in my best interests I didn't go this year. Once again, they had indeed, been looking out for me.

So why did I feel so perturbed by it?

It almost felt like they were caging me up. Or rather, I was caging myself up, because I didn't want to be with them. Or did I?

This was way too confusing. I wanted to be with them but I didn't? I just-

"Oh." I exclaimed in surprise, suddenly noticing the flow of blood by my nose. "Nosebleed."

I frantically reached for a tissue on the side of my bed, holding it underneath the stream of red.

_Gross._

My mouth tightened. It was getting to the point there was a mini-Seiko inside me, telling me what she would say.

_That's disgusting. _She would say. _Can't you even take care of yourself long enough to prevent something like that? _She'd roll her eyes. _Or are you too busy stuffing yourself to the point your diet is making your nose bleed? Fatass._

And then she'd sneer, and laugh. And I'd be left thinking how it was all probably true.

I wished I was better. Not necessarily prettier, or thinner, or stronger, just…better. I wish there was something people could like about me, something obvious that people could see right away, so I could be loved like her.

But there was no way I could get away from her and get stronger. I couldn't just step out of the village and train and…

Wait. Why couldn't I?

Not by myself, of course, with a sensei. Yeah. Someone accomplished, who could take me to see new places. I could avoid Seiko, yet I could improve. I wouldn't have to feel self-conscious because she wouldn't be there to see me every time I fell. I could learn things she didn't know.

But as usual, the question of homesickness came into mind.

I didn't love Konoha, but I did care for my friends. Most of the time, when people went away for training, they went for a long time. Several years, at the least, and in some cases, some of them never returned. What if Rinji and Hito had changed by then? What if they wouldn't want to be my friends when I came back?

Essentially, it was up to me. My parents cared about me, but they weren't necessarily 'proud'. I didn't want to fail them any longer.

By this point, I noticed the sky outside my window had darkened, and I read the time on the clock on my dresser.

11:10.

_Well, _I thought. _11:11 is the time for wishes. What do I want more? Which is more important…?_

Something uneasy in me stirred. I wanted to change for myself, for my team, for my family. But what if I had to lose my friends in the process? Was that worth it? Be away from them for so long?

The clock beeped to signal its time change.

I closed my eyes and in a split second, put all my heart and soul into this one earnest wish.

And then, I shut the lamp next to me off and went to sleep.

* * *

"You want to what?" My brother asked me the next morning, in surprise. I hardly ever spoke to him, and of matters this big, he was more than caught off guard. We were seated in the dojo of the Uchiha complex, and I had interrupted my brother's intense studying to ask a favor of him.

"I want to leave for training."

"Alone?" he asked incredulously.

"No, onii-san. I want a mentor to come with me."

"Uh huh." He nodded, light disbelief in his voice. Fugaku relaxed and placed his scrolls off to the side, flipping his long dark bangs out from in front of his black eyes. He rested his elbow on one of his cross-legged knees. "And who might this mentor of yours be?"

I hesitated, still in my kneeling position with both legs curled under me. "…I haven't quite decided that yet. I was hoping…" I faltered. "maybe you could suggest someone to me?"

Fugaku blinked at me. "Why are you asking me?"

I shrugged awkwardly, looking away. "Well, you left for training a couple years ago, I don't know, I just…I'm not sure who to ask."

Fugaku raised both of his eyebrows. "Hmm." Then he stood up, brushing off his pants as he gathered his scrolls. "That's up to you to decide. You need to pick whoever can teach you what you want to learn." He finished simply. He walked across the dojo floor, right past me, sliding the door open.

"…Is that all there is to it?" I asked, without turning around.

I heard him stop, hand still on the open door.

"…No." He said; a small chuckle evident in his voice. "You need to pick…someone who can understand you. And someone who you can understand. The master and student must always be…in sync, I guess you could say. You need someone who will teach you more than just jutsu. They've gotta teach you about life, as stupid as that sounds."

I stayed silent, before slowly turning around to face him. "Does that mean he-your sensei- was like…like a father to you?"

Fugaku turned around to face me, face blank, before he broke out into a calm expression. "I guess you could say so." With that, he stepped outside and slid the dojo door shut, leaving me with more questions than before.

* * *

I had waited outside the Hyuuga complex for a good twenty minutes, taking more steps backward than I was taking forward. The awkwardness and terms of my last coming here were still quite fresh in my mind.

"No, okay, just do it." I muttered to myself, forcing my feet forward as my hands curled into fists. "Just go up and-"

My eyes widened and I grasped the sides of my head in frustration, before turning around and walking away. "No, this is stupid, I should just-"

Once again, I cut myself off. "No, I should go for it, no better time then the-"

And it continued, me fighting an inner battle with myself. And it seemed both sides were losing, if that makes any sense. I took two steps forward and two steps back. I hesitated and thought over it a million times.

No going back.

And as I entered the gates, suddenly I heard Hinata's voice from behind me.

"Hanako?" she inquired softly. "What are you doing here, Hanako?"

I felt very self conscious at that moment, turning around inch by inch to meet her eyes.

"I'm just…um…" Paying a visit? No, that'd be weird, considering what I'd done before. Apologize to Neji? A little late for that, in my opinion. So what?

I eyed her arms, full of grocery bags.

"I, um, I came here to help you carry these bags." I said solemnly, nodding fiercely as I took the majority of them from her hand. What I wasn't expecting was to find the bags to be incredibly full and incredibly heavy.

"Oof!" I fell into a crouching position just from the sheer weight of the bags, and I cautiously peeked into one. They were full of…rocks? And a bunch of metal stuff I couldn't recognize.

Hinata smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry; those are for Takashi's training sessions. He prefers to use foreign weapons so he can acquaint himself with the weaponry of the other nations. He's just like his mother." Hinata laughed. "They both have an appreciation for the sort."

I barely heard her, and only heard the sound of my own blood pounding in my ears as I struggled to keep my grasp on the heavy bags. How did Hinata manage to hold onto so many of them, and make it seem so effortless?

"And…and the rocks?" I panted.

Hinata looked momentarily surprised. "The rocks? Oh, you mean these." She reached into my bag and took out one, balancing the heavy stone lightly between two of her delicate fingers. "These are for ceremonial purposes. See?" The turned it around to face me. The katakana for Hyuuga was inscribed into the rock. "We use these for traditions at our household."

"Oh, I see." Actually, I didn't see anything at all besides the red in my vision from holding the bags. I slowly tried to count to ten as I felt drops of sweat roll down my brow.

I let out an inhumane sound, something between a croak and a laugh, and it sounded like a strangled chortling noise. I felt the blood leaving my fingers. Once again, it completely escaped me how someone who seemed so fragile and elegant, like Hinata, would be able to lug these all the way back to the Hyuuga house without so much as breaking a sweat, or even working up a pant, for that matter.

Hinata cocked her head to the side, smiling at me. "But I digress. Let's bring these inside, neh?"

"Mmm." I nodded, heaving them inside while Hinata carried her bags in with the grace of a true lady. The walk to the door entrance wasn't far, but it was still pretty excruciating for me. I dropped them loudly upon the wooden floor, before straightening up to massage my aching back.

"Well." Hinata finished, brushing her hands free of dust. "Now that that's done…" she bowed to me. "Thank you for your help. May I invite you in?"

I shook my head, declining. "Oh no, I'm actually…" I paused, staring at Hinata's expectant eyes. "No, that's fine, but I have some other stuff I have to take care of."

She looked rather dejected, before bowing again. "I understand. I hope to see you again soon, Hanako."

I stood there, a little awkward as her head was ducked down towards me. I wasn't sure whether or not I should leave yet. In the end, I found myself so tongue-tied I ended up merely turning around and walking away.

Hinata straightened and entered the house, sliding the door shut behind her. An inch before the door fully closed, I suddenly whipped around and kneeled fully, arms splayed out fully on the ground, nose brushing the cobblestone.

"Hinata-san, would you be my master?"

No answer.

For now, all that was visible of Hinata was her pale hand still left on the nearly closed door, which had frozen when she heard my words.

I involuntarily inhaled the dust on the ground, but I ignored it, head still ducked down waiting for her response. With excruciating slowness, the door slid open, bit by bit again. I heard Hinata's slow, light footsteps on the wooden floors again.

…Why was I so damn nervous?

After what seemed to be an eternity, she spoke. Her voice remained firm and without timidity despite the small volume.

"Why would you need a master?"

"…I think it's obvious, Hinata-san." I whispered.

She breathed gently through her teeth, before her dainty fingers wrapped around my upper arm and pulled me up. Her face looked a little dazed and slightly bothered.

"…Have you discussed this with your parents?"

I shook my head.

"Have you considered what you will leave behind? At all?"

I straightened. "Of course I have. I know this is what I want." I strengthened my voice.

Her eyes sharpened as her voice became colder. "Why? Why do you want it? What do you think leaving will accomplish for you in the future?"

I paused. Didn't she just ask me this…?

"Uh…well, I want to become a better kunoichi for my team."

"Wrong. You're lying." She said sharply, eyes narrowing. "You're doing this for Seiko. Because you want to see her fall, and most importantly, you want to be the one who makes her fall."

I took a step backwards. "Why shouldn't I be allowed to feel that way?" I defended.

"Because you're doing this for yourself. That's what secluded training is for. Not for anybody else but you." She took a step closer to me and tightly clasped her hand around my wrist. "Don't you realize the motivation of your entire life has revolved around Seiko? All the pain you cause yourself, all the regret you hold in your heart…it's all because of her."

I glared at her, and pulled my arm away. "So? What right do I have not to be?" I retorted, almost pouting.

"It's not Seiko's fault! You're angry at your sister for being talented? For being loved?" Hinata's face was twisted in frustration and scolding. "How dare you hate her for being born the way she was!" She pointed an accusing finger at me.

My eyes widened. It felt like she stabbed me in the chest. Hinata was someone who I thought…I knew. Who understood. But it turns out underneath it all, she was a Seiko fan, just like everyone else.

"Why are you taking her side! I'm the one who's had to deal with her horrible attitude my entire life! I'm the one who's never been good enough! I'm the one who knows the pain better than anyone!" I spat loudly. "I thought you understood, but all along you're just someone else who doesn't know and doesn't care!"

Her voice lowered to a terrifying whisper. "Oh, trust me, I know perfectly; I know more than you care to hear about." She said in a low, hushed tone. Her eyes were dark; until I realized that maybe she was no longer regarding me.

I choked back a small gasp. "…Hanabi-san?"

She didn't nod, but she didn't shake her head either. Her now cold eyes darted upward and stared me straight on, and that was enough confirmation for me.

"But why? You're strong…you're beautiful, you're loved. Why are you jealous of-" I turned my head to the side, suddenly noticing someone had walked in our conversation.

It was Hanabi herself. Hito's mom. I had met her on a few occasions, and although she was a nice woman, something about her seemed very dangerous.

"Hanako." She nodded to me. "Hinata." She acknowledged her sister. Hinata kept her head ducked down and nodded stiffly, Hanabi hardly noticing as she took her coat off and draped it on the front porch.

Hanabi was a beautiful woman too, just like Hinata. While Hinata was understated, Hanabi oozed an aura of danger and sexual allure. Her muscled, but slender limbs, the way her long dark hair fell just at the right angle in her eyes, the perfect contrast of her white eyes. Everything about her made her seem strong and independent. While at the same time, she was as feminine as possible. It was like being a living contradiction, while all the pieces clicked into place.

Hinata was the understated one, but in my mind, it didn't make her any less of a good person.

The next minute, Kiba, Hito's father appeared round the corner. "Hey Hinata!" he greeted cheerily. "Long time no see." He stalked over and gave Hinata a quick hug. As he did so, I saw Hinata smile; truly smile, as her eyes fluttered close at his touch. It seemed, all too soon, he pulled away, and Hinata's expression melted back into its earlier state of calmness, as if the discussion with me had never happened.

"Hey babe." He growled to Hanabi, who raised an eyebrow skeptically at him, but smirked all the same. He leaned down to kiss her, and I saw Hinata turn away as she saw this. Neither of the other adults seemed to notice.

Hito came around the corner. "Mom…Dad…not in public, please." He smacked his forehead. "Hi Aunt Hinata. We're here for the banquet like you said." He said cheerily. For the first time, he seemed to notice I was there. "Oh…hey Hanako." He said in a monotone, looking away from me.

I said nothing, not meeting anyone's eyes.

So maybe Hinata was like me.

The reason she was yelling at me about being unfair to Seiko…was that she was angry at herself for being jealous of Hanabi. She had no justification to the bitterness towards her sister…other than jealousy. Maybe she wanted different for me.

I didn't know. All I could feel was pity in my heart, and regret for what I said to Hinata. She briefly met my eyes, and in her typically blank eyes, it was like I was seeing into her. I saw her regrets, and ultimately, her sadness. Combined together was a wisdom that seemed to have been unwittingly thrust into her hands.

"…I'm sorry." I mouthed to Hinata, as I bowed my way out, leaving the courtyard.

Hinata expression seemed to be reaching out to me, asking me to stay and comfort her. The vulnerability in her made her seem like a girl my age; who just needed someone, as opposed to the full grown woman she was. I saw her reflected in myself.

She plastered on a sad, fake smile, and nodded vigorously to reassure either her or me, I couldn't tell, and gestured for me to leave.

I hurried out of there as fast as I could.

Hinata wanted me to get my emotional obstacles out of the way before I left. She wanted me to have a clear head before I embarked on my travels.

* * *

It embarrassed me to no end, but I had to do something for Seiko. Say something, anything.

I started rummaging through my closet, looking for inspiration, until something large and dusty fell from the top shelf and landed with a loud _plunk _on the ground.

I turned to it. It was a photo album. A family photo album.

Hesitantly, I opened the cover. Inside, it was filled to the breaking point with pictures of my family. Fugaku, when he was even younger than I was now. Seiko and I, when we used to be friends.

I picked up one particular one of us two. We had been playing that childish game where you pretended the ground was lava, and you had to avoid it by jumping from pieces of 'rock' floating atop of the supposed lava.

Seiko was standing atop one of these rocks. I stood on one, farther away and at a lower height. We were both laughing, and she had her tiny hand extended out to me, trying to help me over.

I sighed through my teeth, and turned my head around. I eyed a glue stick on my desk. I was no artist, but I'd try my best.

I groaned and banged my head into my closet door. How come it was always _my _pride taking the blows?

* * *

_I walked into my brightly lit room and sighed, relieved, running a hand through my pink hair, before emptying my pockets of all their weaponry, clattering to the wooden floor._

_I leaned against the door frame and closed it all the way, quietly locking it behind me as I limped over to my white spread bed and fell face down on it._

_Takashi had beaten me to a pulp. It was so embarrassing I didn't even want to think about it. And it wasn't as if Hajime had helped. Having one of the best teams around was both a blessing and a curse._

_I rolled over and faced the ceiling, finding a few limp, glow in the dark stars I had pasted there when I first moved in here. I brought my left hand up and fingered my tender, sore abdomen, currently covered in bandages after Hajime had slashed me earlier today._

_And then…thoughts of her came back._

_I unconsciously clenched my jaw. Why did she bother me so much?_

_I faced the wall, curling into a ball and flinching at the pain in my stomach, and propping my head on my flat palms._

_It just felt so unfair._

_No one admitted it, but I knew, that at some point, everyone was waiting for me to fail. Everyone waiting for the 'perfect' Seiko to fall, and for Hanako to get her moment._

_I was the popular one; I was the pretty one. I was the poster, model child, who brought pride to my parents and impressed anyone who came near me. I should've been the happy one._

_And yet…why was my life so empty?_

_In reality, I had no friends. Takashi and Hajime and I were not a team; we weren't friends. We were three genin, obligated by duty and bound by a need to just crush the competition. We worked together solely for the purpose of reaching the top. And when we reached the top…we'd all end up turning on each other, I suppose._

_And Yumi…was nothing like me. We acted the same for the sake of public face, but whatever shallow friendship we had formed during childhood was long gone now. The other girls…we weren't friends. I knew nothing about them. I was just the 'famous one' and they were just people that followed me around. Townspeople and classmates liked me alone for the sake of my name._

_It was during these times…I realized how much I missed her._

_But I could never admit it. If I did, I'd end up losing everything._

_My parents were angry with me. I knew that. And with good reason, after how much I tormented her and made her school years miserable. But by the same token, by the time I realized my mistake, it was far too late. Everyone had picked sides. My parents loved me, I know, but…they were always behind Hanako in spirit. I could just feel it. It instilled in me a terrible, raging jealousy that flared up every time she came into view. And whenever she ran away in tears, only did I realize what I had done. I always wanted to run after her. And as always, I never did._

_Pride, was it?_

_Meanwhile…Hanako, although she may not have been top in terms of tangible objects, her life was full of love. She just didn't know it. I saw the way her teammates looked at her. I saw the way their arms were always open to catching her when she fell._

_Midway through Academy years, when the damage had been dealt to Hanako, and I realized the sudden shift of favoring from my parents, did I start to seek solace. I had no friends. My family was an empty shell. I turned to Hito._

_He was such a fierce, protective, passionate person. His family truly stuck together like the pack his father insisted on. He was so blessed, and I found it so infectious I practically fell in love with him. His aura became almost a drug for me, but when he struck up friendship with Hanako, my hatred and bitterness only grew._

_Something wet slipped out of my eye._

_It was just…so unfair._

_"I'm sorry…" I whispered desperately to ears that would never turn to me ever again. "Please…"_

_It was then, something banged from near my door. I sat up briskly, shaking the tears off and steeling my expression, reaching for an emergency kunai in my holster._

_But there was nothing. Just what looked like a messy, hastily compiled pink scrapbook, having been shoved under the doorframe. The only other clue I had were some uneven footsteps plopping away from the door._

_

* * *

_

She came to meet me, after dinner in the training yard of the compound. Hands in her pockets and green eyes meeting mine warily, she slowly halted and seated herself across from me, on the ground.

"I found the scrapbook you gave me." She began awkwardly, tossing a few rose-hued bangs out of her face. "You put in…pictures of us, as kids."

I nodded creakily.

"Well…what of it?" she asked expectantly.

I hesitated. But at the same time I had nothing to lose. Her acceptance could only prove beneficial for me, whereas if she said no…I'd just have to bear with it.

I breathed deeply. "I want us to be friends again."

* * *

My mom sat down beside me at the kotatsu. I hadn't told her about the meeting between Seiko and I.

"I'm all for your going. I'm…proud, that you've decided to take such a big step forward for your training." She smiled down at me, sliding a mug of tea over. "I told your dad, by the way. His answer was a little…harder to decipher, let's say, but I think you have his permission too."

She took a long sip, sighing afterwards, before leaning over towards me with wide eyes. "Are you excited to go?"

I shrugged. "They say what will be, will be. Maybe that should be the approach I take."

* * *

"…Friends?" She blinked. "We haven't been _friends _in forever. Why now?"

Most of the time, she could see through my lies. This time, I decided to get straight to the point.

"Because I want to leave for training, and I'm not allowed to until I 'reconcile' with you." I air quoted bluntly. I tried my best to keep my face blank, although I'm not sure if it worked, as her own poker face had emerged.

"So you just want me to pretend I'm friends with you until you leave?" She asked coldly.

I nodded.

"Well, then no." She chuckled under her breath. "Why should I have to do anything for you? There's nothing in it for me." She finished crisply, although her eyes seemed to twitch strangely.

"But the thing is, there is." I said monotonously, folding my legs neatly beneath me and gently placing my hands on top.

Her eyes darted up to meet mine, suspicion in them. "…What?"

* * *

My mom frowned. "I want you to be very careful. Naruto-sama left when he was your age to train as well, although he did have one of the legendary Sannin with him."

I stared down at my now cold tea, watching the leaves swirl around in the green pool. "Didn't Dad leave too, when he was my age?"

There was no answer for awhile, until I looked up to see my mom's face having twisted in pain and with her eyes glazed over.

I leaned forward a bit. "…Mom?"

She shook her head, waking from her reverie. "It's nothing…really." She weakly assured me. "…I think I've had enough for tonight." She mumbled with a quiet finality, before getting up and leaving me feeling confused for the umpteenth time that day.

* * *

"I'll be out of your way."

I'm not sure if it was pain, happiness or just plain evil on her face, as she answered.

"Have a nice trip, then." She finalized her answer.

* * *

_I couldn't sleep that night._

_How could I?_

_I never let my emotions show. Ever._

_So when Hanako asked me, in the bluntest tone ever, to be friends again, one half of me screamed to say yes. And the other half, the other half that remembered we were practically enemies, told me it was a trick._

_I was always more of a head over heart girl. She was so blunt; she just wanted to leave, and get away from me. And her proposal was that she would never be in my way, ever again._

_But it's not like I wanted to say no. I did want her out of my way. But I wanted her by my side instead. Not completely gone._

_But it seemed the damage had been dealt, and it was already too late. I might've as well taken what I could. Right?_

_…Right?_

_

* * *

_

I informed Hinata what I had done the next day. She had responded happily, but my heart was still aching from the way Seiko looked at me with such scorn.

By now, it was probably too late. I doubt she wanted to be my friend again anyways. The best I could do was focus on other things.

"Would you like to try the exams before you go?" Hinata asked me softly. "It might be best if you take some time for preparation. Besides, I'd like to train you personally, here in Konoha, before I take you out."

"Won't that be too long though?" I asked back worriedly. "The exams aren't for some time."

"Well, think of it this way. Even if you do fail the first time, at least you know what it'll be like the next time, yes?" She smiled. "Or at least, you'll understand the degree of difficulty that you'll be facing."

I pondered over this. I would like to stay a big longer, spend more time with my friends. And it's not like there was a deadline for leaving.

"Sure. I'll take them." I shrugged cheerfully. "Maybe they'll even be fun."

I pretended not to notice Hinata's sudden coughing and eye shifting at that moment. Nothing was getting me down.

* * *

**A/N: Your author feels...strange. Does the quality of the writing seem to be getting worse and worse? O_O**

**Heads up, first chapter has been changed. Nothing major, just a few minor plot points and a LOT of cutting paragraphs.**

**No flames, please.**

**-silver  
**


	8. Fragility

**A/N: This chapter is 'short' compared to my other ones, but it's because I realize I rant too much. Enjoy!**

**Kotatsu: A Japanese low table that they use in winter (correct me if I'm wrong, anyone)**

**

* * *

**

"Hanako, you're not gripping the hilt correctly. Like this, see?" Kakashi folded his hand gently over the kunai, thumb splayed across the flat side.

I adjusted the hold. "This?"

"No, you're still gripping it. The idea is to balance it in your fingers, alright?"

I sighed through my teeth, in annoyance. Everyone else was doing cool new exercises and I was stuck here, learning how to hold a knife.

Hito, balanced on the underside of a branch, practicing chakra control, grinned at me smugly. "Aww, c'mon now, your training looks pretty fun too!" he mocked me.

I scrunched my nose up in a bout of frustration, and forgetting all technique, gripped the _damn_ hilt as hard as I _felt like_, and flung it at his head.

He yelped in surprise, and flew onto the other side of the branch right before it hit him. Kakashi sighed and shook his head, rubbing his eyes.

"Where's Rinji?" he asked tiredly, giving up on my terrible kunai technique.

Hito shrugged. "Ran off to do training with his dad, I think he said. Something bout a Washingam."

Kakashi cocked an eyebrow. "Rasengan?"

"Mhmm." Hito mumbled, trying to pry his feet, which were now glued to the branch, off. Subsequently, an enormous gust of air blew through the area, followed by a huge explosion coming from the base of the Hokage's tower, tremors having reach towards the edge of the village where we were. Hito fell out of the tree and rubbed his head.

Hito scoffed. "Spoke too soon. Looks like the idiot messed something else up."

Kakashi rolled his eyes, and brought out a different, thicker version of Icha Icha. "Don't be too quick to judge. The Rasengan is one of the most deadly techniques of Konoha, let alone our own Hokage. Rinji's quite fortunate to be learning it."

Hito snorted and leaned down to pet Akamaru. "Rinji's not the only one who has clan techniques. I've got Hyuuga _and _Inuzuka in me."

Kakashi smiled at him. "And you've mastered all these so called techniques already? Perhaps you'd like to show us?"

Hito's indignant face reddened, and I stifled my laugh behind my head, focusing on targets instead. "I, well, it doesn't matter, c-cuz…cuz…I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO PROVE TO YOU!" Hito pointed a finger at Kakashi.

"No, of course not." Our sensei responded coolly. "No need to yell, Hito. It's okay." He patted Hito on the head good-naturedly while he just grumbled something about mind reading senseis.

"And you, Hanako?" Kakashi turned to me. "Uchiha is no light name; have you learned anything?"

I froze in picking up my weaponry.

"O-Of course I have." I assured him shakily, starting to deposit the knives into my holster, not meeting either of their eyes. "But I'm saving them, you know…for the exams and all. Wouldn't want to give away my secrets and all." I smiled at him.

Kakashi didn't look convinced, but didn't pry further.

* * *

I wasn't sure why I did it.

Maybe it was hormones, or the fact I liked somebody, or the fact I wasn't feminine in the least. And that I wanted to fit in. Maybe it was cuz I was tired of waiting for Rinji to notice me.

I stood over my beloved old piggybank, hammer poised to strike. "Sorry." I whispered, sending it crashing down to its target.

Shrapnel flew everywhere, across the floor, scratching the walls, but I managed to avoid most of the stray pieces. I sorted through the mess of coins and counted them carefully, smiling to myself grimly. I hardly saved up money as a child, and gave up after Academy days. But it might be enough.

I surveyed my destroyed nails, my tangled nest of hair, my strange shinobi gear, in my full length mirror. I didn't want to make a huge change, something small, just to get his attention. Maybe a compliment, if I was lucky. Anything more and it could turn out disastrous, maybe even be permanent. I poured all the coins into a pouch on my belt, and headed off towards my doom.

* * *

I blushed with every step I took in the strange store. Customers were staring at me as I awkwardly surveyed all the products, picking them up, playing the part of interest, when really I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn't hide my shock at the prices. Who the hell paid several hundred dollars to buy 1 bottle of perfume?

Women were crazy.

I stalked over to the nail section. Maybe if my hands were prettier, it wouldn't be a big deal. If my endeavors worked, then he should notice…if not, I could always blame it on some training accident.

I picked something small; a nail care set, that seemed simple enough to work. I had never used a nail file in my life, which I bet was incomprehensible to Yumi. But as my mom always pointed out to me, I was a girl, and not just a kunoichi. I could at least try.

I placed the box on the counter, dropping every single cent I had onto it as well as the lady meticulously counted. She swept her hair out of her face with insanely long, insanely fine nails, rolling her eyes at the strange method of payment. I shivered at unconsciously at her witch-like fingernails.

I ducked my head into the underside of the counter, blushing fiercely. It wasn't THAT big a deal. Yet why was I so embarrassed? The light music, strong scents and overabundance of girly girls shouldn't have fazed me so. Maybe it was that I didn't belong, or that I didn't know what I was buying. Being in that store was like having a million Seikos staring me down.

She handed the box to me, and I rushed out of the strange smelling shop as soon as possible, while she stared after me with a look of confusion on her face.

* * *

I massaged the lotion into my cracked hands, wincing at the stinging sensation. Some of the joints started to bleed from the random skin care and direct application to bare skin, and the smell of the lotion alone was enough to make me cough.

I spent the next hour staring at the nail clipper and file. I couldn't hold a kunai right. How was I supposed to hold something a tenth of that size, and use it so precisely?

I picked it up and hastily cut my fingers nails, occasionally cutting into the nail beds, and causing bleeding. Often times, I cut off too much, until my fingertips were stinging with the sudden exposure and aching with the terrible cutting.

I picked up the pink file next. Nail files were meant to straighten nails. That was about all I knew. I touched it to my nail, and pulled away immediately at the strange sensation. That thing was like sandpaper!

...People _enjoyed _this?

I steeled myself and filed the sore nails until they were bleeding. Maybe it could be like another form of training? I convinced myself. An acquired taste, an acquired skill. I continued.

I could practically hear Rinji and Hito laughing their heads off. If only they could see me now, nails and all.

* * *

It was late.

Well, not late for shinobi, at least. And I lived in a family of shinobi. 'Bedtime' was at 10, but no one was asleep until at least 3.

I wasn't even sure if my dad slept at all, period.

I snuck along the portion that my family lived in, past the dining room. It was getting close to winter, November or so, so our kotatsu had been placed out early.

My parents always had tea around this time, so I wasn't surprised to see a faint light emanating from behind the rice paper door. What did surprise me was Seiko's rushed, hasty voice.

I tiptoed closer to the door, listening through the crack.

"-exams, and the opening portion is always some sort of mind test, right?"

"Seiko, you really should try to figure it out yourself when the time comes." My mom said quietly. "I can't give you any hints for the exams; you know that. Shinobi life doesn't work like that."

"But it's just a hint, and besides Mom, you know that the opening portion is always meant to eliminate hopeless cases, and you know that I'm no hopeless case."

"Seiko…"

"Mom, please?"

"Seiko, this is wrong."

"So is shinobi life."

I heard her sigh, and a small thump to signify her placing her tea mug down. "Alright, when I was your age-"

I flung open the door, pointing an accusing finger at Seiko. Both pink-haired people turned to look at me in surprise. Seiko raised an eyebrow at the destroyed finger pointing at her, but said nothing. My eyes unwittingly went to her perfectly clean, straight ones, until I remembered the reason I burst in.

"Y-You're cheating!" I breathed at her. "You're not supposed to get help!"

Seiko leaned on the table, cocking an eyebrow at me, and deliberately tapping her nails on the table. "I can guarantee you there is no way administration will ever know. And by the same token, I'm almost sure everyone else has asked their parents as well for help. I'm just taking advantage of the moment."

"Oh, then how bout I go ask the others tomorrow?" I drawled at her, pocketing my hands self-consciously.

"They won't tell you." She said sharply, forest green eyes locking onto my neon-like ones. "Why would they? If they told you, you could tell administration, and they'd be disqualified. It's one less opponent to worry about."

I fidgeted, and folded my arms. "No one takes these exams that seriously." I mumbled.

She lifted her chin up, staring at me disbelievingly. "Have you been living under a rock? These exams are more dangerous than any mission we could _get._" She spat. "People _die _in these exams. It's kill or be killed." She finished.

I blinked at her. She was being a drama queen, was all. I turned to my mom, for reassurance.

She smiled at me tiredly. "It's the life, Hanako. You agreed to it the minute you graduated the academy."

I shook my head at her, glancing from Seiko to her. Mom stared at me sadly, but said nothing, eventually turning back to her now cold cup of tea, ignoring my disbelief, sipping silently. Seiko just scoffed at me, standing and brushing past me.

I shook my head harder, starting away from there as fast as I could.

* * *

I burst out of the compound, running to the farthest edge of the training field, and ran to a shrouded oak, falling to my knees, vomiting.

I looked up, shivering and surveying the white clouds puffing out of my mouth, before leaning against the oak and rubbing my arms.

Kill…

Kill someone? Me? Anybody?

The thought had never entered my mind. For all I knew of shinobi, they were people who left the village and came back victorious in whatever they did. It never occurred to me…that I would have to…

The memory of Mangekyo flew in front of my eyes.

My breath hitched in my chest, as I started to hyperventilate.

What if…what if I got killed in the exams? What if that foreseen death was…going to be in two months?

_Kill or be killed._

I didn't want to kill. I didn't want to see anybody die. Was it wrong to graduate, and accept this life?

Was it wrong to fear death when it was my duty? Or was it worse to accept death and disregard it?

Suddenly, it was all the more real. With shaking fingers, I reached into my back pocket, and pulled out a kunai, staring at the glinting metal.

This was a killing weapon.

It was not meant for targets and straw dummies. It was meant for people. If I ever wanted to be successful, someday, and perhaps someday soon, this knife would have to take someone's life.

A slit across the neck. A stab in the chest. A barrage to the face.

The body would fall to the ground and bleed its way to torturous death. Would it be quick? Painless? Or would it last an eternity, and hurt forever?

* * *

From that day forward, my chest felt heavier, and that weight never left me, no matter where I went or what I did.

The burden of killing belonged to shinobi only.

* * *

I tried to forget about it. It wasn't easy, though. No matter where I went, I felt depressed and miserable. The third time I showed up to practice like that, Kakashi assumed he was pushing us too hard, and sent us on strict orders to relax.

My team wandered the streets, Rinji and Hito chatting up ahead of me, while I tailed to the back, arms lolling about uselessly with my eyes facing down, hair concealing my face.

"We really gotta thank you, Hanako." Rinji said from ahead. I glanced up. He walked a few paces ahead, hands behind his head in utter relaxation, facing away from me. "If you hadn't pretended to be so sad, we would've never gotten this awesome break!"

Hito yawned, nodding along.

My mouth tightened into a grim line. I thought they knew me better than that.

I let my head drop back down, saying nothing. It wasn't until I noticed the ground beneath my feet had changed from gravel to deadening grasses that I realized I had been led to an abandoned training yard.

I looked about the open meadow. Old posts and training equipment lay broken in the middle. Voices caught my attention.

Under a huge tree with reddening leaves, sat six shinobi. The other 6 who planned to take the exam.

Besides Seiko's team, Yumi, Chouzo, Chouji's son, and Shikato, Shikamaru's son, were there as well. The six of them were gathered in a circle, speaking quietly. Rinji approached, waving.

"Hey guys!" All the heads turned to him, a few people smiling. For a minute, I envied the fact he was so likable. "What're you doing?"

"Truth or dare!" Yumi called back, motioning for us to hurry up. "Wanna play?" As Hito and Rinji ran closer, she saw me, like a corpse, dragging my feet behind them. "Oh...you brought Hanako." She faltered.

"So?" Hito said defensively.

"Nothing, nothing…" Yumi continued. "Just that, we may not have enough space."

I stalked past Yumi, eventually looking up but doing nothing to conceal the blankness of my voice or eyes. "Thanks for the kind invitation Yumi, but I'm in no mood to play your game anyway." My voice was a flat monotone, back horrendously hunched over.

Rinji finally seemed to notice my mood, and looked at me with concern. Yumi sneered after me. "Oh, it seems we have enough room now. Boys, you wanna join?" she turned back to them.

They were about to decline, before I walked away from the group, towards the opposite side of the field, opposite where I entered, when I called after my shoulder tiredly, "You guys have fun, I think I'll just head home." I droned monotonously.

They both stared after me, before shrugging and taking a seat. A part of my heart twisted in guilt after that. It wasn't until now I realized Hito and Rinji could've been fairly popular people. If I hadn't held them back.

If I wasn't so selfish, I suppose.

* * *

Tree were aligned and spaced carefully between each other on the right side of the field, where I was walking along. I had just reached one tree away from them when I heard Yumi's voice echoing out, "Rinji, truth or dare?"

It was wrong of me, I know. Wrong to spy on the guy I liked, and my best friend. But what could he possibly tell them he couldn't tell me?

I hurried to the other side of the tree I was on, so they couldn't see me, and scrambled up, sharpening my hearing. I climbed along a thick branch and lay flat across it, activating my Sharingan and watching the circle of people.

Rinji scoffed. "Truth, of course. Yumi, I'm not stupid enough to give into your 'creative dares.'"

She let out a sound of shock, while light chuckling echoed around the circle.

"Alright, alright." She waved them off. Her eyes turned mischievous. "Who do you like?"

I heard Seiko giggling, while almost every guy in the circle groaned. "Why this again Yumi?" "Don't you girls have anything better to think about?" "I knew I shouldn't have agreed to this." Voices echoed around the rim of the circle.

The only one not complaining was Rinji. With my sharpened eyesight, I saw that he had paled, and his mouth was slightly ajar.

"I d-don't like anybody."

Rinji never stammered.

Yumi smiled devilishly at him again. "Yes, you do. It's written all over your face. C'mon, c'mon, tell us."

Rinji laughed awkwardly. "I'll pass."

"Too late!" Yumi pointed at him gleefully. "You have to say, or else I'll use the mind technique to _seep into your soul and see for myself-_" she whispered mysteriously, deepening her voice.

"Stop being a creeper, Yumi." Shikato drawled from his lazy lying position on the ground. "It's truth or dare, not, 'let's do some mindreading'."

Yumi waved him off. "I'll do it, believe me." She lightly threatened Rinji.

Rinji looked uncertain. "But I'm not sure that-"

Yumi looked giddy. "So I have permission to invade your mind then? Lovely!"

Shikato looked at her like she was crazy, and questioned her with his eyes alone. She only nodded knowingly at him, and placed one finger on his forehead, pushing him backwards to keep him silent.

She placed her hands in a seal, smile wiped off her face, replaced with seriousness. She was about to mumble a jutsu, before Hito jumped in front of a shocked Rinji, face suspicious.

"Why do you care so much to know?" Hito demanded.

She raised a blonde eyebrow. "Aren't you curious as well?"

Hito stumbled on that, the new prospect of teasing Rinji far too great. Yumi giggled. "J…J-just make sure you don't hurt him." Hito murmured.

Rinji's eyes widened at him. "Dude!"

Hito turned around to face him. "You'd do the same if it was me!" He defended solemnly, before patting Rinji's shoulders. "You're a...good, good man, Rinji." he said dramatically, wiping away fake tears. Some of the boys in the circle snorted their laughter.

Rinji opened his mouth to retort, before his eyes became thoughtful and he nodded. I sighed at the two of them from my spot in the trees.

Suddenly, Chouzo had a hold on Rinji from behind, and being as heavy as he was, Rinji was unable to pull out of his grasp. Yumi started her jutsu again, while Shikato turned away, muttering something about troublesome women.

As Yumi prepared to enter his mind, she looked at Rinji in fake sympathy, cocking her head to the side. "This hurts me more than it hurts you."

Rinji smirked. "Bull."

Her playful smile returned. "You're right."

My Sharingan suddenly went crazy. It went out of focus, zooming in and zooming out on particular chakras faster than I could control it. Yumi's chakra spun through her veins at a speed I'd never seen, while Rinji's chakra seemed to steadily diminish to his inner core. Yumi's chakra flew out of her pores until she was an empty body, falling limply onto Shikato who grumbled about her added weight.

Her chakra swirled into Rinji's body, overtaking everything except the central heart area, controlling his survival. Her chakra control was masterful, unlike anything I had seen. It hit me then that I would have to watch out for her techniques in the exams.

She lingered in his body for a few minutes, everyone watching on in awe. Finally, she escaped, flying back into her own body, while Chouzo released Rinji's, what appeared to be, bruised arms.

Shikato sat up, grunting, before leaning over Yumi and gently patting her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered open, and for a minute, they stared into each other's eyes. Then they both made sounds of disgust and pulled away from each other, Yumi brushing off her skirt as she ignored the red rolling onto her cheeks.

"So what'd you see?" Hito asked somewhat eagerly.

My heartbeat picked up. It wasn't like I didn't want to know either.

Yumi smiled slightly, holding up her hands for dramatic effect, and playing a light drum roll on the ground.

"It's…a girl." She finished.

Everyone stared. And sighed in exasperation.

"That's kind of a given, Yumi." Chouzo muttered.

"Hey, that's not true!" Yumi defended, a giggle in her voice. "He could've been gay, and we wouldn't have known."

Shikato sat up and flicked her on the head. "You're an idiot."

She stuck her tongue out at him. I flicked my gaze from her to Rinji. He seemed unbothered by the teasing, but his face was tired, almost sad, eyes diverted down.

My chest hurt at seeing him so. I pushed my bubbling hopes back down, trying to calm my breathing. I knew nothing yet. He could've been in love with Hinata, for all I knew. It was pointless to get my hopes up.

Pointless. But it didn't mean I wouldn't do it anyway.

"Alright, alright, enough fooling around." Yumi said, becoming serious. "It's-"

"Wait, wait!" Seiko yelled, pulling herself closer to Yumi. "Tell me first!"

I sighed in exasperation at the interruption. I stared at Seiko's eager face. What joy could she get from knowing Rinji liked me?

Whoah.

He didn't like me. I didn't know that. But even so, I felt an uncommon giggle playing in my throat, smiling beside myself. Thoughts of the exam flew out of my head.

Yumi leaned over to Seiko, and mouthed something into her ear. I saw every movement of her lips, but with such an immature Sharingan, I wasn't able to read them.

The smirk slid off Seiko's face. She paled.

I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing out loud.

* * *

YES!

I could sing. I could dance. I could cry.

YESYESYES!

The exams didn't matter anymore. What mattered anymore? Rinji liked me! Liked me back!

Did he notice, or was it on his own? But then again, it didn't even matter! He liked me! Liked me, the most unlikable of all girls!

I finally got back at her! For once, I was ahead. No one liked her! No one liked her beautiful, selfish, smart self! It was…me!

I allowed myself to laugh lightly in the trees, hugging myself and rolling onto my back. I started to climb out of the tree, lightly landing on the ground and getting ready to skip away. I looked up to the sky and spun in a circle.

I blew a kiss to the clouds. A kiss, of all things. I couldn't contain my giddiness.

I waited to hear Seiko's response with a sort of evil happiness. She couldn't use guy jokes on me anymore. I had something. I had someone.

"You like…" she breathed.

I smirked at her. "That's right, he likes Hanako." I mumbled to myself giddily. I left the training grounds without a sound.

* * *

I skipped through the halls of my home that night, trying to conceal my smile. I passed my parents' bedroom, where I heard them muttering within.

"Did you hear?" my mom's cheerful voice asked. "Someone likes our daughter!"

I frowned. I knew Yumi was a terrible gossip, but that fast…?

"How'd you find out?" my dad asked in his deep voice.

"Ino." My mom had a smile in her voice. "Yumi found out for her, I think."

"Which girl?"

My mom's voice was matter-of-factly. "Well, isn't it obvious? The one who's been acting all different lately."

A pause. "Still, which one?" he asked again.

My mom hesitated. "…What?"

"They're both acting different."

I was already gone, running out to the field again.

* * *

Seiko hadn't showed up for dinner. I assumed it was just because she was too angered over the fact Rinji liked me.

She and Rinji stood there, in the cold moonlight, separated from each other by a few steps. It illuminated off their bright hair and bright eyes. They were both...beautiful.

I hid in the bushes, listening to them again.

Seiko stood awkwardly, face point towards the ground, one arm rubbing the other comfortingly. It was a few moments before she said anything.

"…Why?"

Rinji's back was facing me, so I didn't see his expression. I merely heard him sigh. "I don't know."

A cold gust of wind came through the area, chilling me, although I hardly noticed. My attention was focused intently on the two figures not far from me.

"It doesn't make any sense." she said to herself.

"Does it have to?"

She said nothing, repeating her words from earlier.

"You like…" she murmured again. "…me."

* * *

Maroon leaves unlatched from their holds on the trees, fluttering down the ground. The last breaths of autumn swirled around the field.

I made no sound as I left the training field.

* * *

"_You like…me?" she breathed._

_Rinji glanced up uneasily, meeting her eyes. He said nothing, but the red on his face was unmistakable. _

_Yumi started to cackle loudly, rolling on the ground. "I told you it was unexpected!"_

_Seiko stared at him in utter shock, mouth open. _

_Everyone was laughing, or smiling, except the two supposed 'lovebirds', who could only stare at each other blankly._

_

* * *

_**A/N: I'm sorry if it was blatantly obvious. I'm working on suspense and whatnot. Reviews, please!**_  
_


	9. Loss and Gain

**A/N: Wow, a bigger reaction than anticipated! I assumed you all gave up on this story, but alas, I DO have a reader base, it seems! Hello reader base ^^ (waves to reader base). Alright, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

He acted no different at practices. So I did the same.

I pretended my blood hadn't frozen that night and I pretended that I could still cry.

We were under the pretense of friends, but the truth was, I hated him.

I _hated_ him.

He betrayed me in the worst way possible, as a friend…and as…

No, he did not hold that part of my heart anymore. I would never let him have it again. The pain was quick, sharp, but unmistakable, and burned into me forever.

First heartbreak. Check.

* * *

Eventually, the pain eroded away under the steady hands of time. I thought I had lost Rinji. But he still came to practices every day. He still smiled at me. I could feel him underneath my fingertips when we sparred. I could see the light in his eyes and hear the sound of his voice.

He was still there. He was still my friend. Even though he couldn't be more, I would take it. While I still could, at least.

* * *

But I never forgave her.

Technically, it wasn't her fault. But for my whole life, it was never her fault.

It was always mine.

She didn't know I liked him. No one did. And it was going to stay that way. So, if it were anyone's fault, it was mine.

But I was so tired of blaming myself.

I didn't understand. But a part of me didn't want to. I knew, if I asked him why, what the answer would be. It would be the same, again and again. I didn't want to hear the same thing.

It tore me inside out. I hated her so, but she was my sister, my solace as a little girl. The possibility that I couldn't ever fully hate her was...

Disgusting.

* * *

"Up." Kakashi commanded. "Again. Fix your stance, Hito."

Hito coughed into his hand as he gasped and heaved for air, Akamaru collapsing beside him.

"I…can't." he wheezed. "I've been going at this…for hours."

"Stop complaining, we're all tired." Rinji snapped, too tired himself to make a perverse comment, falling from the tree limb he was balancing on unceremoniously. "We only have, what, 1 month left?"

"I would hardly say we're ready." I muttered, landing another kick to the straw dummy I was practicing with. We – I – was improving, but not yet. Not quite.

"Enough talking, back to your training." Kakashi interjected, his eye trained intently on us.

He walked over and propped Rinji up on the tree, tapping his chakra points to channel the flow better. I found myself grimacing at Rinji's pained expression as his face turned redder and redder from having stood upside down for hours.

"Rinji, focus!" Kakashi corrected him. "You're not focusing your chakra properly!"

"I'm trying!" Rinji yelled in frustration, as his face twisted in uncharacteristic fury. "Maybe it's your crap teaching that's making all of us mess up!"

Hito and I both froze to gape at him in shock, but Kakashi's face betrayed nothing. Instead, with lightning fast motions, he swiped Rinji's feet clean off the tree branch and nailed him directly in the abdomen with two extended fingers.

Rinji paled and abruptly vomited across the ground, Kakashi withdrawing his hand just in time.

Hito and I were left gaping as Kakashi snapped clearly, drawing our attention to him.

"I want 100 laps around Konoha. You hear me?" He ordered angrily. Seeing Hito about to complain, he whipped a shuriken towards him, cutting so closely that Hito was left with a light slash across his cheek. "No complaints, unless you want to end up like him." He jutted his thumb out to Rinji, splayed across the ground and gasping for air.

Hito gulped and started running off towards the village. I stayed behind and sadly watched Rinji, before grasping his arm and attempting to pull him up.

Violently shaking, he vomited a second time, the bile splattering across my calf and lower thigh. I curled my upper lip in disgust and abruptly jumped back as Kakashi's eye bore threateningly into me again, starting off after Hito.

* * *

"Oh, I'm just so proud!" My mom gushed, clasping her hands together and beaming at Seiko and I, who were both seated next to each other on the ground, however I could feel her inching away from me awkwardly. "I remember when your father and I did our first Chuunin exams as well! Sasuke, don't you remember?" She turned and smiled brightly at my father, who was sitting and leaning casually against a dark corner in our sitting room.

"…Aa."

My mom dismissed him and rolled her eyes. "Ignore him. Anyways, you both ready? Oh, I know; how bout you show me what you've learned so far!" She nodded eagerly, as Seiko and I both groaned in tandem.

"Don't complain, do as your mother tells you!" she scolded teasingly.

"Sakura," my father cut in smoothly. "They should be off training with their teams, not putting on a little show for you and-"

Before me or my sister could register what happened, my mom's delicate hand was curled menacingly around my dad's neck, pinning him against the wall as she growled angrily, eyes ablaze,

"They will do as I tell them, you hear me?"

My father rolled his eyes and slapped her hand away, although said nothing to deny her.

Her dangerous mask melted off and she ushered my sister and I into the training grounds of the complex.

"Okay, who wants to go first?" she inquired.

I certainly didn't want to go up, and Seiko never was one to disappoint. "I will," her silky voice slithered off her poisonous tongue as she batted her eyelashes evilly at me. She may have agreed to be my friend, but that was only to the public. We could hate each other as freely as we wished at home.

_I _could hate her as freely as I wanted.

I seated myself neatly near the shoji door, and out of the corner of my eye, saw my father, lurking in shadows as always, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed and eyes probing for Seiko's next move.

I turned my attention to her. She fell into a perfectly aligned stance, facial expression the epitome of calm, as she waited a few moments. In a flash of speed, she back flipped and rebounded off a stone tile, soaring through the air. Twisting herself just so, she reached for a battalion of shuriken and set them ablaze, whirling towards the ground like shooting stars, releasing clouds of smoke as they hit the ground.

She landed gracefully and drew her hands up, this time not even needing to say the jutsu as fire erupted from her lips. She caught the streams of fire and twirled around, using the identical fire streamers as whipping tendons, slapping across the stones in the courtyard and leaving behind long scorch marks.

I couldn't find my voice, nor could I find it in me to stop staring. She was…amazing. Her training had not been for naught; I could feel the power oozing from her, like a static hum in the air, which, according to Kakashi, was characteristic of talented shinobi.

In a final show of strength, she gathered the fire into her right palm and sent her fist smashing into the ground. A tremor resonated throughout the compound, and throughout the rest of Konoha, I'm sure. Cracks originated from the point of contact as fire seeped through the breaks in the ground.

Smoke filled the training yard. When it finally cleared and I stopped coughing, she emerged from behind the hazy veil calmly, face still carefully blank. My dad, behind her, seemed to nod in acceptance as my mom squealed her pride.

I looked down in embarrassment. I couldn't top that. I couldn't top _her._ Not in a million years.

"Hana, you're up next!" Mom said excitedly. "What have you been up to lately?"

I looked up at her in a mixture of guilt and fear. "Um…I-I'd rather pass, Mom."

She stared; then scoffed. "Nonsense!" she kneeled down and placed a comforting arm around me. "There's no one here to judge you," she murmured quietly, though I'm sure with my family's heightened senses everyone heard. "We're all family."

My gaze inched towards Seiko, who, with her tall posture and the destroyed training yard as her background, was the spitting image of victory.

Hell. No.

I ducked my head even farther, allowing my mid length hair to cover my face. "Please Mom…"

My dad piped up. "You will have to perform in front of many people at the exam; think of this as practice."

"If she even makes it that far." Seiko muttered.

My mother glared at her in warning, before turning back to me. "Come on now, Hanako, don't be shy. I know you can do it."

I shook my head. "I don't want to, Mom. I'm not sure I even want to do the exam anymore."

My dad sighed. "It's nerves. Go take a walk; clear your head." He rubbed his temple. "I can hardly stand the noise here either." My mom glared at him, releasing a flurry of colorful vocabulary.

I did as he bid. It was a good excuse to get away from it all, and hope my mom hadn't noticed my fake façade of improvement.

* * *

I breathed in the air around me. Winter was on the brink of entering. It had already snowed once here, the day after I saw Seiko and Rinji in the field.

Fire ripped across my chest. The pain came back; full on par. I pushed it out the way it came, not allowing it to interfere with my relaxation. It was meaningless to me now, and until a week from today, the exams were my goal.

I felt a drop of water on my head. "Hmm?" I reached up to tap my head, feeling a cold spot. Another drop hit my hand. I stared up at the sky, to notice its light gray cloudiness. A light powdering littered down across the empty road I was walking on.

A small smile found its way onto my face, the first I had in weeks. I stuck my tongue out. A delicate, intricate piece of ice floated down, and melted immediately. I retracted my tongue and pondered the taste, before opening my hands and feeling snow melt in my palms. I checked both ends of the street for any passerby.

No one.

I stuck my tongue out and started humming, opening my arms and spinning in a circle. The soft fluff barraged my face, got caught in my eyelashes and hair, but I didn't care. It felt good to be free for once.

Free from…all of it.

* * *

I stood there for a long time, dancing in the snow.

* * *

I kicked my shoes off at the door, shaking off the snow and wiping my hair free of its wetness. I headed down the complex to my room, when I heard some clinking coming from in my room.

I hesitated. And flung the door open.

Seiko sat on my bed, viewing the empty box for all the nail stuff I bought. Everything I had used was spread out on the bed. She glanced up at me as I came in.

"I didn't realize you took a sudden interest in nail care."

I stared, wide eyed and slack jawed, at her nerve. I almost screamed at her that those things were the product of my life savings, before spitting out, "That's mine!"

She smirked. "Yes, it is, but we're sisters, yes?" She tossed me a nearly empty bottle of lotion, the one I had rationed so carefully on myself. I glanced at her hands, with their perfect baby soft skin and nails, shinier and more polished than usual.

Then I noticed the nail file was snapped in half on the bed.

"You really should buy better quality stuff next time; buying crap like that breaks easily." She said coolly, without expression, as if we were 'friends' or as if it were an 'accident.'

A perfect comeback was on my tongue. But all I heard was a repetition of what I said earlier. "Th-that's mine!"

She nodded slowly, as if I were retarded. "Yes, Hanako. It is yours. But learn to share, you're a big girl, yes? And my older sister." Her voice was so perfectly calm and straight I wanted to pull my hair out. "We _share _our belongings."

The back of my eyes pricked. I had a whole lot to say to her, oh, a _whole lot_…

But all I managed to do was fling the ceramic bottle at her. "THEN TAKE IT, TAKE IT ALL!" I screamed. She ducked easily, and the bottle shattered into a million pieces on my bed after colliding with the wall. She didn't smile, merely stared at me curiously, arms crossed as she tsk tsked at me.

I slammed the door closed.

I hated snow. I really hated it.

* * *

I ran out to the very edge of the village, away from all prying eyes and good ears. And I screamed.

I climbed into a tree and screamed, I lay on the ground and screamed. Just...screamed.

Until my voice was hoarse and my own ears hurt from the sound.

I caught my breath, steadying my panting and wiping cold sweat away from my brow. A stupid decision. It was still snowing and I hadn't even bothered to take a scarf or jacket in my haste.

"What's wrong?" A voice asked.

I whipped around, to see, lo and behold, Tenten, of all people standing there.

She didn't know about my problem with Seiko. Hell, she probably only knew me as the girl who mentally tortured her daughter.

"Why should you care?" I spat bitterly. She made no move to show that my words affected her, as her composure remained plastered and unusually calm.

She stalked over, small feet lightly prancing over the snowdrifts, before seating herself under a tree, where the heavy boughs had protected the dead ground from any snowfall. She crossed her arms, and her round brown eyes came up to meet mine.

"I don't know much about you." she started coolly. "But I do know that you're just like any other girl; and you're quite clearly frustrated. Nothing else could've made you that erratic."

I almost blushed at the fact someone had been watching me in my...tantrum, of sorts. Almost.

I owed nothing to Tenten Hyuuga. She was a weapons mistress, and that was all I knew. I knew nothing about her, and vice versa. I refused to open my mouth; everything would come pouring out if I did. I was in no mood to get emotional again and say my life story.

For some reason, Jiro flashed in my mind again. Fear started to prick at my heart.

_We are misfits. Just like you._

"Is it the exams?" her smooth voice shook me out of my reverie.

I stared at her, before looking down at my cracked, white hands, stiff from the cold. In a way, it was the exams. And Seiko. And my own incompetence. And my family. And Tomoe.

And just...everything.

And Rinji. Oh kami...Rinji.

"It's okay to feel nervous. You're just a newbie, after all. I had been a genin for two years and I failed." I averted my gaze up, pocketing my hands in my violet tunic. She sighed, running a hand through her perfectly tidy buns, messing them up in the process. It wasn't until now I noticed her belt pouches were bulging, and that her arms were covered with scratches and scars. Well, it was a given. They didn't call her the weapons mistress for nothing.

"Knocked out in the fighting portion, I was." She sighed through her teeth. "The first half, of course. By a Suna princess named Temari." Her mouth curved up into a competitive smirk. "She was good. I didn't even see it coming. Even my best techniques didn't seem to work against her."

It wasn't until now I noticed I had moved closer to Tenten, and was now listening quite intently to her story. "I don't regret losing, though." She said thoughtfully, staring up at the endless expanse of grey clouds above us. "It helped me become better, got me out of that...arrogance, you know. It showed me just how weak I really was."

I was stricken at how close her words hit home. My greatest fear was...to see...myself. And all the weaknesses that came with it.

"W-W-Weren't you scared th-though?" I stuttered. I had never met Tenten directly; it was a bad habit, one I was determined to break. She turned to look at me. "Scared t-to see y-your o-o-own weaknesses?"

She blinked, and chuckled. "Of course I was. I don't know anyone who wouldn't be. But..." she averted her gaze back to the sky. "Would you rather live your life pretending you were great, or live your life _being_ great?"

I hesitated. And again, I thought of Jiro.

_He made us powerful beyond reckoning._

No. No. No.

I had already declined Jiro's offer. To even_ consider _the miniscule notion that I might've been even mildly tempted was...was...was simply ludicrous. It was too late as of now, anyways.

I had to stop thinking about it. And even if I _had _considered the offer, I always had the much safer, much more reliable solution of Hinata.

...But even I didn't know.

"So!" For the second time that day, I was woken from my distractions. "What do you plan to do for the fight portion?"

I turned to stare at her, almost fearfully. "I w-won't make it that f-f-far."

She almost glared at me blankly. "Don't make assumptions. Let's say you do make it then. What will you do?"

I shrugged awkwardly. "I'm n-not sure."

Tenten pondered this. "Huh." Then she jumped to her feet, holding out her calloused hand for me to take. "C'mon, up and at em, I have a little experiment I want to try."

I allowed her to drag me into the middle of the field I was in, feet crunching under the shell of new snow. When we reached the very middle, she handed me her scarf to keep me warm, wrapping it around my neck for me when my clumsy fingers failed to do so.

"Here." She handed me a knife. But it was different. A darker metal, with different inscriptions upon it, and decorations resembling rainfall.

"It was imported from the Village Hidden in the Rain." she answered my mental question. "Now go on, take a shot." Tenten encouraged, backing out of the way to let me have a clear shot at what appeared to be a very thick tree trunk.

I stared at her. And then at the knife, which I was gripping so tightly Kakashi would've had a fit. And then at the tree trunk.

I started to adjust my fingers the way Kakashi told me to, before Tenten's hand came down and halted me. "What are you doing?" she questioned loudly, almost angrily. "That's not the way to hold a kunai! Didn't you ever learn?" She demanded with shock.

I glanced up at her momentarily, before staring at my wet boots. "K-Kakashi-sensei t-told me to hold it l-like that."

She blinked and scratched her chin, placing one hand on her hip as she stared off into space, muttering something under her breath. She did this for a few moments. When she finished, she turned back down to smile.

"Kakashi _thinks _that there's only one way to hold a kunai. But I've learned otherwise." She knelt down from her towering height to be closer to my level. "Years with weapons has told me that textbook isn't always right. In fact, I think it's pretty uncomfortable." She shrugged, before looking at my grip.

"You've got a pretty good grip there." Tenten remarked, smiling slightly. "Very natural, prime for throwing. Light, but still firm. Who taught you that one?" She inquired with interest.

I blinked at her, before allowing an embarrassed smile to crawl onto my features. "No one. Just me." I secretly celebrated at the lack of a stutter.

"Really now." She straightened, placing her hands on her hips and taking a step back as if surveying me for the first time. "Well then, you're a natural, it seems. Here now, try throwing it."

I gulped. This was usually where everything went downhill.

I shut my eyes in anticipation, brought my hands up above my head, before I felt a strong hand catch my elbow before it could throw.

"Don't close your eyes! It's _your _weapon. It can't hurt you." I blinked at her numerous cuts and bruises and gave her a disbelieving look. She laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her head. "Okay, so maybe they can, but that's only when you get careless. Look, release your shoulder first. Don't throw from the elbow; use your whole arm to propel the knife and it will fly true." She gave me a quick demonstration, doing a small pirouette for show. Her movements were quick, precise, elegant, but still subtly fierce. Her knife whizzed fast, faster than I had ever seen anyone else accomplish, and embedded itself hilt deep in the bare trunk.

I gaped. She smiled, before a frown took its place and she muttered to herself about how the knife seemed a few millimetres off and how she was getting 'rusty'.

I tried the same. I inhaled deeply, ready for the embarrassment to come. I released my shoulder the exact same way she had (using the Sharingan to copy was quite beneficial here) and whipped my arm out, flinching in anxiety as I waited for it to go disastrously off course and into the foliage.

But...it didn't. It flew the way hers had. And the next thing I knew, I heard a soft _plunk! _to signify I had hit on target. My eyes were wide in shock. The kunai was directly next to hers, perhaps not as deep, but on target nonetheless!

"Awesome!" she yelled, hugging my shoulders. "You're a natural! You really are! Finally, maybe another weapons mistress in Konoha?" She looked down at me, raising an eyebrow in suggestion. I grinned at her, a full out grin. A small happiness bubbled in me. I was better than I thought! I exceeded my own expectations!

"Go, go, do it again, I wanna see!" Tenten insisted excitedly, seating herself cross-legged in the bare snow. This time, she handed me a normal Konoha kunai. "_Foreign weapons aren't allowed in the exams._" she mocked snootily, then scoffed, returning to her normal voice. "Administration's a bunch of sore asses." she grumbled.

I took a deep breath, wishing for the same luck as before, and copied the same technique.

It glinted in the snow, when suddenly, a flash of red appeared on the hilt.

Everything went in slow motion. I stared at my fingertips, where some strange sort of heat seemed to emanate. A few moments passed, when I started to comprehend that I had just combined my fire style chakra with a kunai, similar to the way Seiko had with her shuriken.

But...Seiko's only lasted a few seconds. Mine was lasting much longer, it seemed.

The weapon was set ablaze in a flurry of extraordinary light. It grew from the tip and spread to the back of the hilt, until the whole thing was on fire.

It plunked into the trunk like last time, still crackling with flame, and I briefly worried over the possiblity the tree could catch fire, until one of the heavy boughs was shaken from the concession of knives, and dropped a bounty of snow atop the kunai and doused the flames.

It was silent, and I turned to Tenten warily, afraid I might've done something wrong.

She was gaping. And then she squealed in excitement, rushing over and grabbing my hands.

"Do you realize what you've just done!" she almost screamed. "You've just created a new jutsu!"

My mouth hit the floor. And then, for the first time in a long time, an unbreakable confidence filled me.

Exams, show me whatcha got!

* * *

**A/N: Yes, yes, Hanako created a new jutsu. WHEE! (noisemaker goes off) Hope you enjoyed, review please!**

**-silver**


	10. Preparation

**A/N: Wow, I'm terrible. Really. Deepest apologies to all of you, but I've just been...lazy? _ Really sorry. Hope this...sorta makes up for it. Other stories will be updated soon!**

**Oh, and a shout out to: Helga4ever. Seriously, most dedicated reviewer EVER, for all my stories. I love hearing your commentary. Thanks so much!  
**

* * *

_(Rinji's POV)_

I shivered at the sudden chill, and groggily rubbed at my sleep-filled eyes. Light flooded my vision, and I blinked the spots out. My window was open, breaths of winter floating in.

I propped myself on my knee and shoved it shut, and, as per usual, grabbed a red pen and shuffled obediently to my calendar, earlier dates full of red Xs.

I yawned, blinking, before tripping over myself, dropping the pen, and hissing "Shit!" as I saw the date.

"Hanako's Birthday." In huge letters, scrawled in my messy writing, were the last things I saw as I ran out of the empty house, Dad long gone and my non-existent mom even longer gone.

I swept past the large kitchen and dining room. A half empty milk carton and partially finished noodle cup sat, cold on the table. With another unopened one for me.

I ignored it and chugged down the rest of the hopefully not spoiled milk in one gulp, before grabbing an apple and rushing out of the home behind the Hokage tower to the Uchiha complex.

* * *

I knew the Uchiha compound well. Hell, I went there all the time. I knew it practically as well as my own home.

Fugaku was almost like my god. Except he hated me. So that kinda sucked. But even so, I couldn't help but stare in awe at his unbelievable technique, every time I saw him practicing when I visited Hanako, which was all the time. She practically had to drag me away from him every time, rolling her eyes and muttering some different insult every time.

As I ducked my chin into my shirt and balled my fists in my pockets, I could smell the food from outside the high, guard wall surrounding the home.

I could already tell preparations were set. After all, today, they were celebrating two birthdays.

From one secluded corner of the compound, blowing in from the southern compound, wafted the scent of cherry blossoms. This mixed with the scent of tangy citrus and something spicy.

I assumed it must've been chili or something. Hana's favorite, as always.

I dropped my shoes off at the front. "Mom?"

Hanako's mom appeared from a corner of the compound, hair hastily tied back into a bun and a simple white apron draped over her front. "Rinji, it's nice to see you! Hanako's still in her room, so make yourself at home."

"Thanks. Smells good, by the way."

She smiled. "Good to know." She crinkled her laughter filled eyes at me, before disappearing into the massive kitchen again.

Yes. Hanako's mom was my mom. My dad's close enough with Hanako's parents as it is; they were teammates after all. I'm not sure if it was pity, or just straight-out kindness that she allowed me to address her as my mom. To me, she was the only woman figure in my life, besides Hanako.

Oh, and I forgot. And that stupid girl who seemed to make my heart speed up irregularly, the pink haired, forest-green eyed girl, who tortured my best friend non-stop, and, with all her nerve, played with my hormone-enraged heart all the while. The horrible beast and bright-eyed beauty, all the same.

I wasn't sure when it started. It just did. Before I had even met Hanako, I knew of this pink-haired girl. She was sweet, laughing, and occasionally, I'd see her dragging around the fluorescent eyed, young Hanako with her.

The days when I never saw Hanako, Seiko…changed. She seemed to have lost her bitterness, and the foul face that always accompanied her rants on Hanako. Needless to say, I got curious about her.

* * *

"_Pair up, everyone." Iruka called, scribbling something upon a clipboard. "We're going to discuss the difference of family techniques." He smiled brightly up at us._

"_Compare each of the family gifts you have been given; they all make you special, and it is important to note the strengths and weaknesses of each one."_

_Iruka sat down and began to fiddle with his desk drawers, and I turned expectantly to Hito, ready to partner him, before a wild-eyed Yumi appeared out of nowhere._

_Her elbow clasped protectively and tightly around Hito's arm. "Hito, partners?" She asked kindly. A little too kind, if you asked me._

_He blinked. "What, of course no-"_

"_Yay!"she squealed, beginning to drag him off. She abruptly seemed to recall my presence there, and stared at me. "Guess you'd better find another partner, eh?" she giggled._

_I shook my head, sighing, and heard Seiko's voice over the light banter in the room._

"_What! Yumi! C'mon!"she half whined, half yelled. Seiko crossed her arms and dropped her head, sighing._

_I stared at her, and then turned away, unsure of what to do. It seemed everyone else in the room had partnered up…_

"_Alright, 'partner', let's get moving."she muttered. Her thin fingers grasped my wrist and dragged me along over to one of the back rows, where she could easily keep a close watch on Yumi and Hito's 'activities'."_

_I gulped, and cleared my throat. "Alright, well, to start off, I don't really have much of a bloodline gift, but-"_

_Seiko suddenly grunted in frustration, raising herself a little higher in her seat and fidgeting around, trying to look over Shikato's tall hair. "I…can't-see-them."_

_I tapped her shoulder, cocking an eyebrow. "Oi, we're supposed to be working."I mentioned, slightly irritated._

_Her head creaked over to me slowly, face bewildered._

"_No one else is working! Why should we?"_

_On closer observation, I realized she was right. No one else was working. Yumi was fluttering her eyelashes so quickly her eyelids might've fallen off, while Hito mumbled something to her once in awhile, mainly focused on keeping Akamaru from biting her head off. Chouzo munched on something, protruded from his seemingly endless supply of hidden food, while Takashi tried not to twitch from any of his spare crumbs landing on him. Shikato lay asleep in the corner, while Hajime concentrated on his beetles, which creepily entered and exited his sleeves casually._

_And Hanako, much to my chagrin, was at home, sick with the flu. Even now, I had no one to talk to. Except Seiko, but she wasn't exactly at the top of my friends list._

"_Ugh!"she groaned, frustrated. "Alright, I give up."She leaned back in her chair and swept back a few bangs. Since I can't even see them, and I have no one to talk to, let's do something fun."She suggested offhandedly._

_I raised an eyebrow at her. "Like what?"_

"_Oh, how bout truth or dare?"she offered excitedly._

_I rolled my eyes, ready to deny her, before she started. "Truth or dare?"_

_I plonked my head on the top of my desk, ready to die. "Fine, truth."_

"_Do you think Hito could ever like me?"_

_I froze. _

…_what a strange question to ask. Girls truly had minds he would never comprehend. _

"…_uh…sure."_

"_Yeah, but why do you think he would?"_

_My voice was muffled by my sleeve, as I quickly thought up several ways to distract her and make my escape. "Uh, cuz you're cute, I guess."_

"_Really?"She gasped. Seiko's small hand twisted around my upper arm and jerked me up, forcing me to look her in the eye. "Are you lying?"she questioned suspiciously, although the frighteningly gleeful look in her eye was hard to miss._

_I wasn't one to lie. My dad taught me that. So I looked her over._

_Her hair fell in several light, pink tresses, layered around her face nicely. The tips had a slight flounce, so they curved outward, making it seem like she was always smiling, even when she wasn't.. A set of elegant eyebrows, placed precariously atop her pristinely pale forehead, just like Hanako's, bordered around the edges of a pair of pine-green, sparkling eyes. A heart-shaped face, proud but not arrogant chin, shockingly white teeth. A small nose, slightly snubbed, just so she wouldn't be 'too'perfect, and rosy lips completed the ensemble of her face._

_I wasn't one to lie. My dad taught me that. So I told the truth._

"_Yes."_

_She flashed me one of the most genuine, utterly ecstatic smiles I'd ever seen. _

_It all went downhill from there._

_

* * *

_

Thank kami Hanako didn't know, she'd hate me.

I followed down the familiar hallways. The crinkling of scrolls from Fugaku's study. The mumble of Hanako's father as he corrected something his son did. The roar of a hair dryer from Seiko's room.

Across the empty compound, well worn stepping stones, and ancient sakura trees scattered the grounds. Over a wooden threshold and past the rock garden, led me to the cluster of rooms, one of which housed her.

I heard her from far away. Slurping?

I knocked once, before letting myself in. "It's me." I mumbled.

I entered, to see Hanako sitting cross legged on the floor, a cup of instant ramen in one hand and a pair of wooden chopsticks in the other, poring over some scroll on the ground. She looked up at me, mouth clamped over a long strand of noodles, soup starting to drip onto her calves. She stared at me.

I'll be honest, I've never enjoyed ramen. It's alright, once or twice, anymore and I'll get nauseous. I will never understand why my dad enjoys it so much, or why Hanako does, when I could barely stand it myself.

I brushed away the thought. I smiled nervously at her. "Happy birthday."

She continued to stare, before quickly gobbling down the noodles in her mouth and tossing the chopsticks into a wastebin. "Get out."

I blinked at her. "W-what?" I stuttered. "Hana, it's me. Rinji. Rin-ji." I pronounced for her slowly, as if she forgot who I was.

She stood, brushed off her leggings, without making eye contact. Her brow was furrowed in an emotion I wasn't used to, nor comfortable, seeing her direct towards me. "I know. Now get out."

I didn't move, eyes wide and mouth set in a confused line. She sighed, running a hand through her un-brushed hair, before stepping over her messy floor and placing a hand on my chest and starting to push me out.

I clamped my hand around her wrist, stopping her. "What's going on?"

She flushed suddenly, blood rushing to her face at an unnatural speed, gasping at the sudden movement, before panting slowly and turning away from me. Her voice was alien, detached, tinged with acid. "Nothing. I just don't want to talk to you right now." She placed more force into pushing me out, but I didn't let her.

"No, you're telling me what's going on." I said firmly, pushing her hand away. I edged my way around her and seated myself on the bed. "What's wrong? It's your birthday, you should be happy."

She blew threw her teeth, before whipping around to face me. "I'd really rather not talk about it." As she leaned down and rolled her supposedly secretive scrolls tightly, she said nothing. I briefly noticed some strange red cloud insignia on the scrolls, but they were thrown hastily into her open closet before I could make further observations.

She plopped down on her spinning desk chair, wrapping her arms around her knees. I sat in the awkward silence, before deciding to start some conversation.

"I…forgot it was your birthday. I'm sorry." I muttered, rubbing the back of my head. "I'll get you your present later, I hope it's not too-"

"It's fine."

I froze.

"You're not mad?" I asked incredulously.

She paused in her movements, to eerily creak her neck up to glare at me blankly, before averting her gaze back down as if nothing had happened.

"No, I'm not." She said sharply.

I leaned back on my palms, pushing my forehead protector out of my eyes. "Well, I'll get one anyway, after all, it was-"

"Rinji." My heart skipped a beat at her voice. Not angry, not sharp. But scariest of all, dead and tired, with a sense of defeat in her voice. I glanced at her, to realize with a pang that her head was dropped, hair falling in a concealing curtain that masked everything about her from me.

"Just go. You should be getting ready for the exams anyways."

A spark of anger flared up. "Screw the exams, why are you avoiding me?" I inquired forcefully. "And stop looking down; look me in the eye when you talk to me."

She withdrew a little from my tone, but obediently stared at me.

"Alright, what?" she asked, bored. All signs of her earlier depression were gone.

"What's wrong with you?" I scolded.

Her eyes turned vicious. "Me? What's wrong with _me_? I'd be better off asking you that question." She pushed herself off the bed and placed her hands on her hips defiantly. "I thought you were on my side, but clearly, you're not." She spat.

I blinked, confused. "Hana, what on earth are you talking about-"

"I know you like her, okay?"

I froze. It felt as though an anvil dropped straight through my head to my toes.

She crossed her arms and turned away from me to stare out her window. "Happy now? Are you satisfied?" Her voice remained wild and furious.

At a complete loss for words, I struggled to respond, before she cut me off entirely, voice calmer now.

"Maybe it's immature of me, I know. It's unfair to you for me to completely give you shit for this kinda thing. But you know how I feel about her. And it really hurts. It'd be like me saying I thought the guy who killed your mom was a good guy."

She tensed up, and turned around suddenly, covering her mouth in shock.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know where that came from. I just…I'm sorry." She rubbed her arms and looked around my face for signs of forgiveness. "I shouldn't have brought that up, this is…"

I averted my gaze from her, and said with as much venom as I'd ever heard myself say,

"What Seiko's done to you isn't nearly as bad as…that. I can't believe you actually had the guts to say that to me."

Her apologetic tone turned attacking again, eyes steeling. "_I'd_ rather die than live the way Seiko has treated me. You might not think it's as bad, but I do."

I raised my voice angrily, fury bubbling beneath the surface, releasing all my frustrations all in one. "You're such a fucking drama queen. You've put up this wall your entire life and you barely let anyone in. You always come crying to me to fix it for you and you can't even take care of yourself!"

"I've been hated my whole damn life because of her!" she shouted. "You don't understand how awful it can be sometimes with her as a sister!"

"Would you rather have her as a sister, or not have a mom at all?" I nearly screamed.

She took a courageous step forward, glaring. "Since when did that seem to faze you? All you ever seem to do is talk about how your dad was all you've ever needed! All you've ever wanted was to be a Hokage so you could be adored! I don't need people throwing themselves at my feet to be happy, I just want friends who will be goddamn honest with me!"

"This isn't about me, this is about-"

"About how you fucking _betrayed _me?"

"Hanako!" I yelled at her. She flinched immediately, taking a step back. "I'm allowed to feel what I wanna feel. Respect that! Maybe the reason I like her is that she has more to her than what you see. Because I have the patience to judge based on more than first impressions, maybe that's why I have friends and I'm not waiting for my life to get better like you!"

Both she and I seemed to deflate at the same time, breathing heavily from the earlier energetic argument. Neither of us looked at each other. I briefly noticed her fists were clenched tightly.

Suddenly, the window behind her bed slid open and a familiar face popped in.

Hito leaned his elbow against the edge while Akamaru jumped up near him to get a better view. A long strand of grass was caught in between his teeth as his tasted it carefully.

"Wow guys, that fight was really…awesome and stuff, even though you were both kinda asses, but can we go train now? We're gonna be really screwed tomorrow."

Hanako swiftly picked up her shuriken holster from the ground and clipped it on, muttering about how she had other errands to take care of, and shoved me out of the way as she walked out.

Leaving just me and Hito.

I breathed deeply. "Can you just pretend that…you didn't hear that?"

Hito shook his head. "Nope." He popped his lips on the last syllable. "Sounded pretty bad from outside. You alright, man?"

I ran a hand through my gold locks. "…no, not really. I mean…did you hear what she said about my mom?" I gestured to the door, voice slightly accusing. "Didn't it sound just a bit out of line to you?"

Hito looked at me carefully, staring intently. "Oh, I definitely agree what she said was out of line. But we all know she's kinda…overemotional? Plus, not exactly the best idea to say what you said on her birthday, of all days."

I threw my hands down. "Well, was I just supposed to sit there and take that?"

He shook his head again. "No, I don't think what she did was right, but I don't think what you did was right either. You overestimate your position in her life. We're with her during the day, we know what happens when Seiko bullies her in public, but don't you imagine it'd be a lot worse at home, when there's no one around to stop her? I've personally never heard Hanako complain about what happens at home, so I expect she was right when she said you didn't know half of it."

"Plus, as irrational and rude as she was just then, I can totally get her being offended by you liking Seiko. I mean, she kinda…hates her, and I hate her too, and up until now, you've played along with that. You really did make it seem like you hated her too, and now…well…I don't think she wanted to hear that."

I glared at him, but stopped short and pocketed my hands. Letting out my breath I plopped myself on the ground, eyeing Hito and simultaneously examining the curious insignia on the scroll Hanako had been previously reading. It looked strangely familiar, the red and the black symbol…where had I seen that...

Suddenly, Hito snapped me back into the conversation.

"Either way, better to just leave her be for now. Hanako's smart enough to know you probably didn't mean it, so I'm just hoping that we can get our act together before tomorrow."

I sat up, casting depressed looks at absolutely nothing. "If you think so. You're ready for it, then?"

Hito smirked confidently, petting Akamaru at his feet. "I've been doing a lot of training, with and without you guys. There might even come a time when you and I both have to fight. It'll be interesting to see how that turns out."

I returned a small smile of my own. "We'll see."

* * *

"_Rinji, be careful!" Hanako called from the sidelines. "There's a forest nearby, you might get lost!"_

_Rinji only smiled brightly and jabbed a thumb at his chest. "I'm tough, I can totally take care of myself." He squeaked in that 8 year old voice of his._

_Hito merely rolled his eyes while a tiny, baby Akamaru yipped around, chasing his tail. "Whatever, Rinji. Here it comes!" With that, Hito threw a large, bouncing red ball as far as his little arms would allow him._

_Turns out his father's strength passed onto him. _

_Rinji could only look on, mouth agape, as the ball soared over his head and flew into the underbrush._

_Paying no heed to Hanako's warnings, he sped off into the forest in a flash of yellow. Hanako's face grew frightened, as she called after him. "Rinji, there are monsters and stuff in there! Just leave it!"_

_There was no answer, save for the light echo of Hanako's voice. _

"_Rinji!" she called, a slight edge of desperation entering her voice. "Rinji!"_

_No response, as Hito bit his bottom lip nervously and dug his foot into the ground in embarrassment. _

"_S-sorry, Hanako…" Hito mumbled. "I didn't think it would go that far."_

_Hanako kept calling for Rinji, from her seat on the old borderline fence of the meadow, before turning to face Hito, anger and fear in her eyes. "I told you both to be careful! Rinji!" she practically screamed._

_Hito walked up to her, looking up at her scared face, ready to tease. "I bet a bunch of monsters got him, neh?" he smirked, poking her in the knee._

_She looked ready to scream at him, before closing her mouth and slapping his arm. "I'm serious!" she said, and she sure did seem it, looking as if she was on the brink of tears. "What if he's actually lost?"_

_Hito scoffed. "Pfft. Sure. Even he's not that stupid."_

_Quite the contrary. _

_Fifteen minutes passed, ticking by agonizingly. By the third minute, Hito had multiple bruises, rubbing them sorely. By the fifth, Hanako was in tears. By the eighth, she was pacing, and by the tenth, Hito started to have his doubts. At the fifteen minute mark, he had to consider the options._

_Alright, so maybe the idiot had gotten lost._

_Either way, it wasn't like they could go into the forest. Hanako didn't know her way round these woods, and Akamaru was still too young to be left alone, and yet brought into the forest. Besides, even Hito's knowledge of these woods was a little sketchy…_

_Hito pondered this, stroking an imaginary goatee, before snapping his fingers. "I've got it."_

_Hanako stared at him, wiping her nose with her sleeve. "What?" she croaked._

"_This." Hito smiled at her reassuringly. He placed his hands in a slight cup shape, and blew into his knuckles. A light whistle, almost like a bird call, but slightly more shrill, like an actual whistle, emanated from beneath his fingertips. Carefully moving, he recalled upon the ancient technique Grandma Tsume had taught him. His fingers moved the way he remembered, and successfully, as a loud, distinct melody played._

_And within moments, Rinji came out of the forest, scratching his head in confusion._

_Hanako tackled him, before smacking the back of his head. "I told you to be careful!" she scolded, placing her hands on her hips and glaring at him. He smiled sheepishly. _

"_Sorry, guess I just lost my way…" he chuckled, before suddenly turning serious. "Then I heard that bird call or whatever and just followed it."_

_Hanako looked disbelieving. "You heard that quiet little bird call from all the way over there?"_

_Rinji shook his head. "No, not a bird call. I just had this urge to follow it, y'know? It wasn't shrill or anything, but I had a good sense of where it was coming from, like it was in the back of my head or something."_

_Hanako was about to say something, before Hito interjected._

"_A homecall, it's called." He lectured. "It's this really old technique my clan used before we relied entirely on dog scents. People create 'empathy links' or whatever, when they've spent enough time together, and pretty soon, everyone who's involved in that link responds to the call."_

_Hanako blinked. "So if I got lost, and you did that homecall thing, then I would be able to find my way to you?"_

_Hito nodded. "Supposedly it's really easy for us to hear, because it relates to our links. No one else can hear it or respond to it like we do."_

_Hanako nodded in tandem. "It looks like it could be really useful. Teach us?"_

_Kakashi, at first meeting with the team, never understood why they always stopped to randomly whistle to each other, until they revealed the story to him._

_His students were strange indeed._

_

* * *

_

"Forms, please." The bored attendant asked, and Kakashi handed them over, smiling brightly.

Forcefully, she stamped each one of the three forms, before tossing them back to the three waiting genin, all of them catching their forms easily.

"Ready, you guys?" Kakashi asked happily, rubbing his hands together.

All of their faces seemed to stare at him blankly, before darkening. "No." They all stated, having just watched some of their competition training earlier.

Kakashi ignored this. "Great! Good luck then!"

With that, he left the group, but not before leaning down to whisper something cryptically into each of their ears.

They all had strangely blank, contemplative faces, each of them wondering whether to tell each other what messages they had just been told. After all, they could be hints, keys, to successfully passing these exams…

But they hardly had any time, as the large, double doors, looming and frightening, creaked open to await them, just as they had opened for their parents so many years previous.

As Kakashi watched all three of them enter, he saw, pulled from the shadowy crevices of his mind, the faint silhouettes of his first Genin team, walking in tandem with the new generation.

* * *

_(Hanako's POV)_

It was full. Like…really…full.

People were crowded into every single nook and cranny of the place. On desks, muttering at our sudden entrance, in corners, glowering at us darkly from underneath their concealed headbands.

Akamaru bristled and a deep-throated growl arose in him. Hito mumbled something offhandedly to calm him, but his own eyes were wide in anticipation.

I gulped down my own bubbling fear, and took somewhat of a brave step forward, planting myself directly in the eyesight of everyone. It wasn't much, yes, but at least it could prove to my teammates I had the gall to let everyone know who I was, and that I wasn't afraid to show it.

Or maybe I just didn't want to stand beside my teammates and deal with that cloud of awkwardness that trailed us around. One of the two.

"So you're here too." A whiny voice drawled.

All three of us glanced over our shoulders to find, lo and behold, Shikato, with faithful friends Yumi and Chouzo not far behind.

I stared at them briefly, before returning my gaze back to the whole room, now an audience for this silent exchange between our teams.

Rinji spoke up first. "Well, of course, I thought it had been made clear everyone was coming, right?" His voice was airtight cheerful, and the tension in the room was almost a whizzing hum that pressed itself against my ears.

Without trying to look like a complete lunatic, my eyes darted around as fast as humanly possible, connecting with the glances that were being beadily shot my way. I had to analyze the other competitors while I still had time.

I was vaguely aware of Hito staring at me strangely, but his silent question was ignored. I activated the Sharingan, trying to keep it as unnoticeable as possible, and attempted to count the number of people in the room, ready to narrow down my possibilities.

Worst decision I could've made.

A frenzied woman, with beastly hair and bloodshot eyes, stood up from the back of the room, pointing a shaking finger at me. "Her!" she screamed. "That fat one! She's got the Sharingan!"

My blood turned to ice and I stopped in my movement. If I wasn't popular before, I sure as hell was now. Every single person in the room was staring at me, scrutinizing.

I was aware of the confused glances and hushed whispering of my fellow teammates and shinobi, until a familiar, high-pitched voice cut through.

Seiko pushed her way through the crowd, coming face to face with me. She was scowling at me, hands placed firmly on her hips, with Takashi and Hajime not far behind, flanking her.

"Nice going."she seethed. "Went off and told everyone about the bloodline limit. That's just one less edge we have now!" Her eyes glared forcefully into my unresponsive, cloudy ones.

"Actually Seiko, that's just one less edge you have now, considering you just announced to everyone that you have the Sharingan as well." Hajime cut in. She simply shot him a twitchy stare, but said nothing.

* * *

Later that day, by the time everyone had filed in, a woman with jet-black hair and a snarky, cruel face had stepped up to the front of the room and slammed her fist on the podium.

"Welcome…" she began. "to the Chuunin Exams."

No one applauded, although it seemed she hardly expected anyone to, as she continued immediately, placing her hands on her hips and shooting sharp glares to everyone in the room, seemingly simultaneously.

"This is no kid's game." she announced crudely. "You all know why you are here. I'm sure many of you think that becoming a Chuunin is easy."

Suddenly, her voice became deathly calm. "I'm here to tell you if you think that, you'll be awfully disappointed." A small smirk emerged on her lips. "I can guarantee you many of you will die. The average death rate nowadays is 40%."

I heard some people in the audience gulp rather loudly.

"Survival is your only task here. Stay till the end, you'll become a Chuunin, simple."

"But…I can assure you only the ones who can survive the most grueling, inhumane tasks, will make it." Her mouth curved up cruelly. "Did I scare any of you off yet?"

No one moved. I'm sure had I been in my normal state of mind, I would've walked straight out, but in my current position of nearly vegetative retard, that wasn't exactly possible.

"Hmm, better than last year." She observed offhandedly. "Seems the lot of you have some guts."

She whipped around and scrawled her name on the board. "Anko's the name. I'll be in charge of you here."

She ran her fingers lightly across the chalkboard, before violently scraping her nails across the board. A screeching wail echoed across the room, causing all the shinobi, even the older ones, to flinch.

She whipped around, eyes dark. "This isn't for the light-hearted. Out of hundreds, less than a dozen are labeled Chuunin every year. You will have to be vicious, brave and more than willing to kill."

Seiko quietly snorted in the back, whispering to Yumi. "Killjoy much? Geez, this Anko chick is seriously uptight and way too serious. It's like she's got a stick up her ass or something."

Both girls burst into excited giggles, and Anko, without even so much as glancing at them, spoke loudly.

"Pinky, in the back. It's your type that's usually the first to go. You're spoiled and pampered and you will be ground to a sad pulp unless you change that sickening attitude. So I suggest you put a stick up _your _ass if you even wanna think of surviving here."

I felt my palms go sweaty as Seiko paled and shut up immediately.

"Your first task is…" Anko paused for dramatic effect, before flashing an evil grin. "to steal 5 scrolls stationed all around a battlefield. You will have to find them individually, fighting off enemies and obstacles which have been designed to each of your specific weaknesses. No fight will be exactly the same."

It seemed as though everyone in the room held their breath.

"You will have no assistance, save for your teammates who will be watching you from a watchtower. They can communicate to you via a microphone and will give you advice when you ask for it. Any questions?"

Even if there were questions, the room was dead silent and I doubt anyone had the courage to speak up after hearing of this type of challenge. This was miles more difficult than previous exams, this I knew, and let's just say I wasn't exactly looking forward to when it was my turn.

"Good! Let's see whose up first…" Anko reached for a clipboard behind her podium and flipped a pen around her fingers before placing it contemplatively in her mouth, flipping through the pages.

This was good. Watch the other competitors so we could see what we'd be up against. View the battlefield and get a clear view of the terrain. Get an idea of strategies to use and prepare for what our weaknesses were.

"Uzumaki Rinji."

And in a second, Hito, Rinji and I, but especially Rinji, felt ready to puke.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Yeah, I haven't written in awhile, explaining why this...sucks. Anyways, consider it my Christmas present (it is Christmas Eve, after all) and also my...I'm really sorry I disappeared for 4 months. Again. Hehe. **

**Merry Christmas everyone! Hope you get lots of not lame presents!  
**


	11. Announcement

**A/N: Hey guys. I realize it has been a very long time since I updated and I'm not sure how many of you are even still around. Let me explain, first and foremost.**

**I love this story to death and I have had the plot planned out for a good year or two now. Unfortunately it takes a lot of time to write things you are pleased with and I rushed into this story, not really considering writing style but just wanting to churn chapters out. Now that I made a semi-return to fanfiction I read over the chapters of this and I'm not happy with how it is. On the other hand I don't want to totally scrap it, just because I love the plot of it.  
**

**So I'm rewriting it. As you can see I changed the title of this, and for the sake of nostalgia, I'm not going to delete this particular story. There's another Seiten no Heki Reki which contains the prologue of my attempt to rewrite this, and hopefully some of you will give it a chance. So...yeah. Please go follow the other Seiten no Heki Reki, if you'd like. :)  
**

**PS: And yes, I will actually try to finish it this time as summer is almost here and I will have an abundance of time.  
**


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